Saturday, October 30, 2004

A lot of times I just want to love on God, to fall in His arms, to kiss his face and bow down. But my mouth is filled with cal, and my knees lock-jointed. I want to kiss on God - an extreme facet of divine worship - but the black hideousness of my own sin bars me back, and I feel so worthless and undeserving. The guilt is always large. I'm not talking about a 'single sin,' just a 'sinful nature.' The fact that I haphazardly look at sin, sometimes sin without care, and then I bow down before God - it just doesn't register. I love him so much, but I'm such a player, a 'spiritual slut.' I wonder how he can want me to love on him, to fall in his arms, to kiss his face and bow down. It is one of those things, I imagine, we'll never understand, but he says, despite our sin, "Come." Wow.

No comments:

where we're headed

Over the last several years, we've undergone a shift in how we operate as a family. We're coming to what we hope is a better underst...