Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, GOD--how long do we have to wait?--and treat your servants with kindness for a change. Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we'll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with good times; we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let your servants see what you're best at--the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. - Psalm 90:12-17 (the Message)

Caleb came into my room yesterday and showed me this passage of scripture he had found. As he read it, I felt something within me ignite. This is the cry of Moses, and yet it is the cry of my heart, and the heart of Caleb as well. The prayers which I raise to God aren't foreign to Him. He's heard them all before. Something about that is comforting. This is what my prayer has been for so long now: "God, help me. Bring someone fresh before my eyes, someone good and grand and wonderful and beautiful, the one whom I am made for."

At Fuel I talked about my romantic struggles. I talked about how much I wanted a girlfriend, how it hurt so much sometimes, and how often it looks like my life will be lonely, how often it looks that I will never find "her". Here at college, my attempts at such discoveries have ended in dead-ends, and that isn't encouraging. I'm not completely broken and withered, though; I spent a lot of time just listening to the voice of God all day yesterday, and He seemed to say, "Everything's going good. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine." And then He reiterated what He always says: "Just wait. I'll come in and things will change." I trust Him. I trust that He knows what He is doing and I trust that, in time, my life will reflect Psalm 40:

I waited and waited and waited for GOD. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock, to make sure I wouldn't slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to GOD. - Psalm 90:1-5 (the Message)

Right now I am waiting and waiting and waiting. My prayers are rising up to God and He hears them all. The time will come when the waiting will be over. He will lift me out of the ditch of my loneliness, pull me from the deep mud of my incompleteness. He will stand me on a solid rock to make sure I won't slip. My mouth and life will continually erupt with thankfulness; my heart will rejoice at the blessings He's poured upon me. I will embrace my wife and play with my children, my laughter and love spilling out a song of joy to the King who listened to my prayers and lifted me from my despair.

I am thankful for all the friends, guys and girls, whom I have here and at home to keep me moving even when things don't seem to ever "work out" the way I wish them to. And I imagine God is shaking His head and smiling, perhaps thinking, "He has no idea what I have planned for him!"