Julie (who lives in Xenia) picked me up on her way home yesterday and drove me back to campus. We had great conversation the entire way there. I spent my evening hanging out with folk in the coffee shop, then took a walk to think about things. I thought about the whole "girl" situation I find myself in. In hindsight, I cannot believe that I faced a decision as to which girl to "go after." In fact, I feel like a moron. This isn't like me! I've come to the place where I find myself comfortable with being single; mayhaps my flirt with Sonja taught me something after all: being in a relationship doesn't erase all the problems we're faced with; singleness isn't the root of all troubles (in fact, it may very well keep the troubles from compounding!). I don't know if things are going to work out with the girl I want to date, but she is an amazing friend and I think highly of her. If she decides not to date, I will be okay with that, and our friendship will continue. Oddly, I'm not too worried about the situation, though (to be honest) I hope she chooses to date!
We sat out on the hill last night, looking out over the city, and she said, "I'm not sure if I want to date yet or not. I'm afraid of losing the great friendship that we have." Had it come from any other girl, I would've seen through the fog and heard, "Actually, I just don't want to date you." It's different with this girl, though. I can tell she's being honest, torn between two decisions, the great chasm of risk holding office as the feared peril. "I'm not a girl who likes to take risks," she told me. I said, "Well, there's always the risk of losing something good, like our friendship. But at the same time, we can't let the risks decide how we live our lives. If we let risk rule our actions and decisions, we'll never taste the opportunities that present themselves." Of course, I admitted to her, I am biased. Heh.
We ate lunch together today, then sat out on the hill and talked for three hours. She is such a good girl, and I really hope she decides to date. I find peace, however, in that Elohim--the "God of gods"--looks over me, guides my steps, and tells me, "Everything will be okay; have I ever failed you before?" No matter what happens, He'll take care of me. And at least it's been an invigorating ride!
We sat out on the hill last night, looking out over the city, and she said, "I'm not sure if I want to date yet or not. I'm afraid of losing the great friendship that we have." Had it come from any other girl, I would've seen through the fog and heard, "Actually, I just don't want to date you." It's different with this girl, though. I can tell she's being honest, torn between two decisions, the great chasm of risk holding office as the feared peril. "I'm not a girl who likes to take risks," she told me. I said, "Well, there's always the risk of losing something good, like our friendship. But at the same time, we can't let the risks decide how we live our lives. If we let risk rule our actions and decisions, we'll never taste the opportunities that present themselves." Of course, I admitted to her, I am biased. Heh.
We ate lunch together today, then sat out on the hill and talked for three hours. She is such a good girl, and I really hope she decides to date. I find peace, however, in that Elohim--the "God of gods"--looks over me, guides my steps, and tells me, "Everything will be okay; have I ever failed you before?" No matter what happens, He'll take care of me. And at least it's been an invigorating ride!
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