last post for may 2009

One of my zombie books—36 Hours—was chosen by my self-publishing company to be available through Amazon.com. It’s pretty exciting, but at the same time, I wish it were not so. 36 Hours was my first real novel, my first writing regarding zombies, and the characters were as thin as cardboard and the plot too thick with incredulities.

 

I’m going to Wilmington this afternoon. One of my roommates, Sarah, is house-sitting at a mansion in the countryside, and they have horses and cats and dogs and a golf-cart and a huge television and gaming systems galore. It should be pretty exciting. Sarah and I have not gotten to spend much time together, because we are both working a lot and at the house at different times of the day. Since I have work off tomorrow, I am taking the opportunity to relax in the countryside with one of my best friends.

 

Mom says that she can tell I’ve lost weight. That’s exciting.

 

I was talking to Mandy today, and I said, “I bathe in regret.” She told me, “You can’t stop focusing about the ‘what could have beens’ and start focusing on the present. You need to stop sounding like a Hallmark card.” I really liked how she said it. The Hallmark note was a good point. Ultimately, she’s right. I focus so much on the past and what-could-have-been that I miss out on the present joys and excitements. Sure, I feel as if my life is a waste, due largely to the fact that all of my goals I set five years ago have not only failed to come to fruition but have even been thwarted again and again by circumstance, but the future is never certain and even cyclical history can branch out of the norm from time-to-time.