Last night at about midnight, Brian and I took a two-hour sabbatical from the school. We traveled down to the river and sat by the high waters, staring at the glowing Newport sign, smoking a pair of cigars. Our conversation turned to spiritual matters and remained there for nearly an hour. We talked about so much, mostly about the depravity of America and our own depravity.
As I posted a little while ago, sometimes I have the desire to sell everything I own and flee to Africa to become a missionary. I don't think this is a feasable dream, but maybe it is a window to my own frustration with America. I am frustrated with how America has focused so much on the self, how America is all about instant gratification and living for empty pleasures. I am frustrated with how America's self-centered, pleasure-seeking philosophy has blended into Christianity and, in many ways, neutered it. I am frustrated with how so many Christians think they're living the gospel when, really, they're actually far from it. I am frustrated with how easy-believism American Christianity is so different from the message of Christ.
The depravity of America, perhaps, stems from the depravity of the human soul, the soul that is self-centered, greedy, and indifferent. When I look at myself in a mirror, I am horrified. I am horrified at my materialism, at my lust for self-gratification, at my endeavors bound by selfishness. I am horrified at my indifference to the pain and sufferings of the world, whether it is halfway across the globe or at my doorstep. We both know there are so many changes needed to be made in our world. This constant conviction, revelation, and action is part of the process of discipleship. I pray that I will prove to be a genuine disciple as I wrestle with conviction, contemplate revelation, and dedicate myself to action.
As I posted a little while ago, sometimes I have the desire to sell everything I own and flee to Africa to become a missionary. I don't think this is a feasable dream, but maybe it is a window to my own frustration with America. I am frustrated with how America has focused so much on the self, how America is all about instant gratification and living for empty pleasures. I am frustrated with how America's self-centered, pleasure-seeking philosophy has blended into Christianity and, in many ways, neutered it. I am frustrated with how so many Christians think they're living the gospel when, really, they're actually far from it. I am frustrated with how easy-believism American Christianity is so different from the message of Christ.
The depravity of America, perhaps, stems from the depravity of the human soul, the soul that is self-centered, greedy, and indifferent. When I look at myself in a mirror, I am horrified. I am horrified at my materialism, at my lust for self-gratification, at my endeavors bound by selfishness. I am horrified at my indifference to the pain and sufferings of the world, whether it is halfway across the globe or at my doorstep. We both know there are so many changes needed to be made in our world. This constant conviction, revelation, and action is part of the process of discipleship. I pray that I will prove to be a genuine disciple as I wrestle with conviction, contemplate revelation, and dedicate myself to action.
5 comments:
What's good, though, Anthony, is that you're young and you're already thinking about these things. As you get older, it may be easier to diagnose the problem - with America, American Christianity, and with yourself - but it's much harder to change.
I completely understand what you are saying! That's part of my reason for leaving the states in July. To isolate myself from America and really get what it's like in another country. Away from all the plush surroundings. As much as I love America it is quickly gaining the title of a waste-land.
It may seem selfish to some b/c I'm leaving my husband and my kids but there are just some things that I have to do and experience as I understand God's character more. Jay is a huge support for me. I will truly miss my family but I trust God will keep us all safe.
My best advice is to experience life now while you have no strings attached b/c it does get harder as you get older. There's more responsibility. Think about taking a week and doing a mission trip to see if that's a direction God wants you to go. Life is too short!
Anthony, I found your blog by surfing on blogs about the emergent church. And I have been following your postings for a couple of days. Today this paragraph of a book i'm busy with caught my attention and I felt like sharing it with you. May God bless you!
"The Christian is someone who is caught between two ages. Two ages compete within us for supremacy: the lifestyle of the old man seeks to re-establish itself through the works of the flesh; the Spirit draws us into the lifestyle of the new man. Our assurance that the new man will triumph over the old man does not lie in a subjective, psychological experience, but in the fact that the new age has invaded the old in Christ and the power of the age to come now influences our life. Even though much about us is weak, we may be sure that the new world will triumph over the old and the new person Christ has made us will prevail over the person we used to be."
Morphew D. 2001, Breakthrough, Discovering the Kingdom, p. 189
Adam, Tena, Armando, thanks for your comments!
Armando, it seems like a wonderful book. One of my big interests in theology is the "Kingdom of God."
Tena, I didn't know you were leaving the country! Where are you going?
I'm headed to Ecuador in July. It actually ends up around the same time as Cranks Creek. July 5th (Wed.) - 12th (Wed.). I think that's right. My brother is taking his youth group for their missions trip and Cindy Garland and I are hitching a ride to understand it all more and help out.
It's an orphange. The church they go to has been funding and building facilities for the past few years...www.haciendaofhope.com. This year Darren said they are going to concentrate more on the interaction with the kids. I'm ready to embrace whatever God has waiting. I'm going to learn and be.
Cindy and I plan on bringing back information with the possiblity for those at Southwest to consider helping in this part of the world. I'm just kinda letting God lead on this one. We'll see what happens.
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