We've all been there: losing sight of why we're here. Over the past few weeks, it happened to me; for some reason, a reason I cannot even begin to explain, I started living as if I had no future. I don't mean I picked up the bottle or shot heroin or anything, nothing so... drastic... as that. The confusion took place within me, in my mind, and it began eating away at my emotions, eating away at my perspective on life, and a sense of depression and hopelessness came over me. I began shirking God, began eating a lot, began spending lots of time just sitting in my room and staring at the wall. God told me where change was needed, but I am quite the stubborn person, so I resisted; eventually, He won, and here I sit on a rainy Tuesday morning, very thankful for the good God I have, very thankful for the beautiful life He's given me, very thankful for the future He has in store for me, very excited about the girl He's designed me for.

The words of Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis resonate with me:

So my question for leaders--and for Christians everywhere--is, are you smoking what you're selling?

I cannot lead people somewhere I am not trying to go myself. I don't have to have arrived. I don't have to be perfect, but I do need to be on the path. (119)

Am I smoking what I'm selling? Am I living the life that God calls me to live, a life of self-sacrifice, a life of selflessness, a life of humility, a life of serving others in love, a life of grace, forgiveness, mercy, generosity, and justice? Am I living the God-pleasing, God-honoring, God-serving life, or am I a caracature of that which I oppose: selfishness, greed, and injustice, merely wrapped in religious-looking cellophane?