a mundane yet enjoyable monday

I enjoy Mondays more than most people do. It's the beginning of a beautiful new week, I don't have to work, and I get to go to my favorite class ("The Life of David"). The weather is beautiful today: the sunlight dances over every blade of grass, the birds flutter back and forth between the blossoming trees, the air feels tingly and warm against my skin, and there is not a single cloud threatening rain. I have spent the day thus far in class and working on my "Life of David" papers. My paper on David & Goliath is almost done; my paper on David & Bathsheba has yet to be put together, though I've started the research. I shall tackle my Paul homework tomorrow, and on Wednesday through Friday work on my Pauline Epistles final exam. Over the weekend I'll finish any homework I didn't complete this week.

Monica, Courtney & I ate lunch outside. I'm starting to get hungry again; luckily Courtney and I are going to the cafeteria here in a few minutes. Here is a funny picture I took of me and a stray cat Courtney found; I didn't mean for it to be so... hmmm... slanderous... but I look like a B.A.M.F. wanna-be Caucasian gangsta, and I find it hilarious.

That's it, folks. Have a wonderful day. Stay classy, Cincinnati.

suspicions of broken destinies

My relationship with Courtney is the longest relationship I've been in.

My relationship with Sonja lasted a month.
My relationship with Julie lasted two weeks.
My relationship with Jessica lasted two and a half weeks.

So now tension is building within me, questions raging inside: "Is this relationship going to nose-dive like all the others, or is this one going to be different?" Our life experiences shape how we expect things to work out, and now I am beginning to fear that my relationship with Courtney will break apart soon. It's foolish. There have been no signs of this happening, though I make an effort to make signs out of nothing. I analyze every word, every action, every look in her eyes, trying to see if she is different than the rest.

I hope to God she is different than the rest. I hope to God that she finds a reason to stay with me. I am quite fearful, and being away from her at home doesn't help much. It's pathetic. So now I wait. I wait to see what will happen. I can't change the fear I have, but I can decide how I respond to it. I'm not going to let it take over. I'm not going to let it dictate me. In time, I believe, the fear shall pass, as Courtney and I grow closer. But right now, I am struggling to keep my head above the water.

another sleepless saturday night...

Often, when the sun sets and the stars burn, I find myself twisting and turning in my bed, unable to sleep. Perhaps I'll head down to the kitchen to get a bite to eat, hoping that will bring me some relief. When that doesn't work, I might go outside for a smoke to clear my mind of all that bothers me. But so often, none of this helps, and I feel something--a voice--whispering: a whisper not so loud so as to demand my attention, but not too soft that I can easily ignore it. A whisper that reveals to me unrepentant sin in my life. A voice that tells me, "This isn't what I want for you. This isn't how I want you to live your life." A voice that spotlights how I am failing to reflect my status as God's child even when it comes to the big things. This voice of conviction--the quiet nudges of the Holy Spirit--comes to me often. It keeps me awake many nights, and more than once my dreams have been, in a sense, tormented. My bones ache, my joints swell, my veins drip with a venomous sore: something is not right in my life. This "something" isn't something mysterious; it's something I know very well. God continually urges me to repent, and I do so for a good while, but then I return to that sin again. I am so predictable! Ugh! It aggravates me to no end.

So here I am, on a sleepless Saturday night, a broken sinner in need of repentance, a child of God whose father is crying out, "Come jump into My arms!" I want to jump, but it's so difficult. He never said it would be easy. Is it possible? Yes. Anyone and everyone can do it--but it is for those who have the determination. Desire itself is inadequate when it comes to this, for desire will only get you so far. You must have the willpower and the determination to stick through the process of change.

On another sleepless Saturday night, I echo a refrain up to the heavens, and it is a refrain that I, as a broken and disheveled child of God, will cry out to my precious, caring Father many more times. Yet it is a prayer that finds itself woven into the fabric of my being, a prayer whose countenance resides in the innermost depths of my heart. It is a genuine prayer laced with great sincerity.

Adonai, please make Your presence known in my life once again. Please reveal to me Your desire for my life and how You wish me to serve You. I repent of my sins, both known and unknown, and I ask You to forgive me. Open my blinded eyes that I might see and know You better, and that I might see and know myself. I give myself to You fully, to Your work in the world, and to Your desire for my life. Please take hold of my life and guide it in the direction You will it to go. May my life be a continuous sacrifice, my lips dancing with praise, and my daily way of life a testament to Your grace, mercy, and transforming power. In Your Son's name, Amen.

gearing up for an insane week

What a week it has been! I've worked nonstop whether it has been at the coffee shop or writing countless papers. This weekend is a refueling for me: I spent a good amount of time with Courtney and her family yesterday, eating out at Xoshi's (a Mexican diner) and then playing with her cats. Two Wednesdays ago, Courtney, Kirby, Nate and I were down in lower Price Hill helping out at the Urban Appalachian Council (yard work and such), and Courtney found a little kitten with her whiskers burned off. The man who managed the organization told us, "There are strays all over the place down here. Nobody likes them. They go through a lot of abuse." His wife said, "Why don't you just take him with you?" So Courtney--against all of our warnings--took her to the dorm and gave her sanctuary... until she got caught. Her friend and R.D. told her she had till 10:00 to get the cat out before she would get fined $150. "If Anthony gets caught in my room, do I have till 10:00 the next night to get him out?" she mused. So she took the cat back home, but the kitten and her other cat--Rossy--do not get along. They fight and attack, and though I find it hilarious (Courtney yells at me for my laughter), I don't want the poor cat to get hurt! Anyways, we played with her cats last night and went to bed late after watching "Saving Private Ryan." This afternoon we ordered La'Rosa's for lunch, watched "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," and went out for ice cream with her family. I returned home and smoked a Cuban cigar around the fire with my mom and dad.

Tomorrow I am teaching on a passage from the prophet Jeremiah (Jer 31.31-37). Afterwards, our family is going to my grandma's house to celebrate my dad's birthday (April 24). I am returning to campus, then setting down to begin working on a whole new set of papers.

Next week will be, without question, the hardest week of the semester. I have two fifteen-page papers to write for my Life of David class, five or six papers for my Pauline Epistles class, a take home exam for my Pauline Epistles class, and a huge exam to prepare for in my Gospels class. Exams start the week after next, and then I have not one but two late weeks: Modern Ethical Problems with Snyder and a new one, The Book of Romans with Jamie Smith. This next week shall be insanity.

on christian servanthood

“What action best identifies a Christian in our world?” This is a loaded question I presented to a high school group of students several months ago. No one spoke up at first, then someone piped, “Being nice to other people?” “No,” I told her. “It is service.” Christians, I believe, are identified by their lives of service to other people. This is, after all, what Jesus says in John 13.34-35”’A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” (v.34) The love Jesus speaks of is not a love of emotion and feeling, but a love of action, a love whose greatest expression is that of sacrifice. Jesus continues in verse 35, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” Sacrificial love serves as one of the distinguishing trademarks of Christ’s followers, and this sacrificial love lies at the heart of what it means to be a servant. Service, however, in the sense that the Christian faith understands it, needs to be redefined and explored.

One of the greatest-known texts in the gospels regarding servanthood is Matthew 20.20-28. In this text, James and John’s mother asks Jesus for the privilege of having her sons sitting at Jesus’ right and left hand when he establishes his kingdom (v.20-21). James and John probably wooed their mother into presenting their request, because in that culture, older women carried much more authority than men—especially young men!—when it came to sensitive matters. This request is rooted in the common Messianic expectation that the Messiah (whom James and John’s family understood, correctly, to be Jesus) would raise up an army, lead a war against the evil, oppressive empires and destroy them, reinstate the Temple and the true worship of YHWH, and rule over the world through his prized people, the Jews. James and John are asking, in effect, for joint ruling positions when Jesus comes into political, judicial power. Jesus’ response in verses 22-23 uses metaphors for suffering borrowed from the Old Testament, pointing out that being at his right and left hand will demand suffering. James and John still press their request, most likely giving little thought to what Jesus was saying (perhaps their greed for the position of rulership blinds them to what the position will actually entails, and they still do not understand how Jesus must suffer and die). When they continue pressing for this privilege of being on Jesus’ right and left hand, Jesus tells them that they will indeed suffer, but it is his Father—not him—who will, in His sovereignty, choose who will sit at Jesus’ right and left hand. When the other disciples hear of James and John’s request, they become furious; after all, James and John went behind their backs in a jostle for power (v.24). Jesus embraces this opportunity to give a discourse on what it means to be great (James and John, in asking for ruling positions in Jesus’ eternal kingdom, were pleading for greatness). Jesus’ discourse on true greatness rests on the principle that greatness, leadership, and rule are defined by service unto others—not be exercising power over people, as the Gentile rulers did (the Gentile rulers were often called “tyrants” in the Jewish literature of Jesus’ day). Jesus then gives himself as an example of this principle: his mission was rooted in service to others, culminating in a sacrificial death (which the disciples did not expect!], and the words Jesus uses are rich in allusion to Isaiah 52.13-53.12, the infamous “Suffering Servant” text.

Jesus set out the parameters of greatness—service unto others—and then he displayed it in his own life. He identified himself with the Suffering Servant whom Isaiah prophesied about, and the gospel of Matthew identifies him with YHWH’s chosen servant from Isaiah 42.1-4 (see Matt 12.18-20). Jesus fleshed-out his identity as a servant of God in his everyday life; for example, he sacrificed his time and energy for those to whom he was ministering, oftentimes becoming utterly exhausted in service to them. Another great example is when one of his disciples was prepared to wash the dust off the feet of the other disciples and Jesus, Jesus—YHWH as a human—took up the basin and towel and washed the feet of the disciples (John 13.15). He taught on the character of the servant, and lived this out, too, in daily life. He taught that the character of a servant involves being poor in spirit (Matt 5.3), gentile (5.5), merciful (5.7), and being a pursuer of peace (5.9). He taught on the radical nature of true servanthood: loving our enemies and praying for them (5.39-44), and then he showed this love for his enemies during his arrest, trial, torture and crucifixion, even praying that his Father would forgive them for their crimes. He taught on the greatest act of service to another: giving up oneself for someone else (sacrifice) (see John 15.13)… and then he embodied this sacrificial service by giving up his life in the most extreme and ultimate way for the sake of those who were alienated from his Father. The Apostle Paul, in examining the life of Jesus, understands that Jesus embraced humility as a servant (Phil 2.7-8), and thus we see that humility serves as the backbone of Christian service.

Being faced with the teachings and life of Christ, the Messiah, our Master, we must ask, “What does it mean, then, to be a servant unto God? What does it mean to be a servant unto all?” Servanthood can be defined this way: “Subordinating the interests and desires of the self for the interests and desires of another.” In service to God, we are to subordinate our own interests and desires (oftentimes being the interests and desires of our sinful natures) for the interests of God, i.e. the interests of the Spirit (this servitude is the greatest act of worship; see Romans 12.1). Being a servant unto others—which Jesus calls us to be—is subordinating our own interests and desires for the interests and desires of others, especially when it comes to those who are our Christian brethren (John 13.34). Service is integral to the mission of a Christian. The mission of the Christian is the mission of Christ: to advance the kingdom of God throughout the earth. In this sense, the primary purpose for a Christian alive on this earth is evangelism: inviting others into the faith so that they can experience the grace of God and thus be reconciled to Him. In living lives of service, we seek after the welfare of others just as Jesus sought after our welfare before God; in doing this, we model Jesus and give those outside the fold of God the greatest testament to the reality of the gospel message.

“But how do we embrace servitude unto God and unto others in our daily lives?” We must understand that serving is not meant to be an act undertaken every now-and-then, but a lifestyle that saturates us and identifies us in a world that is self-centered and indifferent unto God and others. This way of life finds itself fleshed-out more in the mundane, routine, daily humdrum of life. As the heart of service is sacrifice, when it comes to serving others we are to sacrifice time, energy, money, and even our own desires or best-interests for the welfare of others. In all honesty, I struggle to live servitude as a lifestyle, and writing this essay has brought, along with illumination, conviction. While I currently do serve God and others in teaching a high school Sunday School class where we touch base on the main doctrines of the scriptures, I understand that there is much more room for me to expand my life of service. “How can I serve others in class? How can I serve others at work? How can I serve my friends in the dorm? How can I serve my family at home? How can I serve those whom I run into at Shell Gas, at Kroger’s, at Taco Bell?” I must open my eyes and pray that God will show me how I can truly love others—with a heart and action of service.

a theological discussion over french fries and diet coke

Courtney and I went for a 1:00 a.m. McDonald's run last night. We talked about assignments due in our Pauline Epistles class, and then the conversation went to topics we have been discussing in class. We discussed true worship, as seen in yesterday's post, but most of our discussion had to do with Christian status, ethics, and maturity. It went something like this...

"I think the church needs to preach more about Christian holiness and how it comes from God and not from our own efforts," I said. "Our holiness is not based on how well we reflect our holiness in our ethics. We may not be reflecting our holiness as well as the Christian next to us, but that doesn't make us any less holy... Nor does it make them any more holy. Our holiness is total and complete, being bestowed upon us by God. And this isn't lofty language, either. We really are holy, even if our actions don't always reflect this. How well we reflect this holiness in living a life of honoring and pleasing God has no affect on our status as totally and completely holy."

Courtney added, "The problem is that when we preach this, people might--no, people will--use it as an excuse to live however they want. Obviously, this isn't right. Paul calls us to reflect our holiness more-and-more as we develop in the life of faith."

"Right," I said. "In Romans 6, Paul says, in effect, 'Shall we keep on sinning since God's grace will cover us? Hell no!' Using this reality of our holy status in God's eyes as a blanket for indulging ourselves however we please is contrary to the gospel. Like you said, Paul exhorts us to pursue holiness. He exhorts us to mature in our faith, to reflect this holiness more and more in our daily lives. He isn't saying that the reflection of our holiness is what saves us--for it doesn't--but that in response to the grace that God has showered upon us, we should pursue holiness. He is always very frustrated and angry when Christians don't pursue maturity."

So does our status as holy in God's eyes negate pursuing a life of holiness? Does the fact that we're holy despite our behavior give us ample room to do as we please? In the words of Paul, HELL NO! We have come into the fold of God--we are God's friends, and even more, God's children--and so we ought to be motivated and inspired to pursue holy behaviors. I believe this is a big part of what maturity in Christ is about: reflecting more-and-more the status of "holy" that God has stamped upon us through Christ.

***

I have done a little revising with my schedule for next summer, adding three classes and dropping one, as well as adding a summer class in late May. Here are the classes I'm taking next semester:

Dangerous Earth with Reuben Bullard
Pentateuchal Studies: The Exodus with Dan Dyke
New Testament Seminar with Jamie Smith
The Prison Epistles with Jamie Smith
The Corinthian Letters with William Baker
Doctrine Seminar: Miracles with James Snyder

Plus "The Gospel of Luke" with Professor Weatherly as an early week in August, and "Modern Ethical Problems" with Snyder as my late summer class. During the semester I am taking 15 credit-hours (as opposed to my 12 now!).

a thought on true worship...

The Apostle Paul was not, as many Christians assume, a theologian. He wrote no theological treatises or doctrinal propositions. He was a missionary, and thus a theologizer: he took his theology and applied it to certain situations that he dealt with. He was a church planter, and most of his letters deal strictly with issues within the church. Though Paul is not a theologian, we can draw out his theology by examining how he responds to certain rhetorical situations within the churches he writes letters to (or the individuals to whom he writes letters to). Oftentimes, we find that Paul’s theology is different from mainstream theology in certain aspects. One of these aspect is the definition of worship.

Worship in our modern day-and-age is viewed primarily as singing songs to God, praying certain prayers, going to church on Sundays and Wednesday nights, etc. Yet this approach to worship is quite different from Paul’s approach to worship. In three separate passages, we are able to catch a glimpse of Paul’s theology of worship and, from that, build up a portrait of what Paul might have thought regarding the spiritual act of worship. Three of these main passages are Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 6.12-20, and 1 Corinthians 13.

Romans 12 approaches worship not simply as “prayer and praise songs” as seen in many Western churches, but as living a life of service to others. Paul admonishes us to “present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is [our] spiritual service.” (12.1) What does this mean? How is this done? It is done by not conforming to the world but renewing our minds (12.2): we are to pursue the renewal of our minds, for without a renewal of our minds—turning our focus off of the self and onto God—we cannot live a life of acceptable worship. What, though, is true worship? What does it mean to be a living sacrifice? What is this kind of worship that is holy and acceptable to God? This true worship is subordinating our body so that we reflect our status as Christians and so that we live a life of appropriate worship to God. It is sacrificing the interests of the body for the interests of the Spirit; this sacrificial maneuver is the “living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God,” the worship that Paul speaks of. This is our spiritual act of service to God. Thus real worship can be summed up as this: “Sacrificing the interests of our body for the interests of the Spirit.” Singing, then, is just an extension of real worship; but if it is divorced from true worship, then it is pointless! One of the greatest acts of true worship, as verses 3-8 explore, is unity: here Paul emphasizes unity in the church and how Christians have different roles to play in the pursuit of unity. Unity is an important act of worship, for in pursuing unity, one must put aside his or her interests for the interests of others (and this is the second commandment given to us by Christ, thus being one of the greatest desires of the Spirit). In verses 9-21, Paul then examines practical ways of living a life of real worship, tailored to the life, culture, and circumstances of the Christian church in ancient Rome.

Our attention now turns to 1 Corinthians 6.12-20, another brilliant examination of what it means to worship God through sacrificing one’s interests for the interests of the Spirit. In verse 12, Paul says (and I paraphrase), “All things are lawful for me, because I am free in Christ, but not all things are helpful. I will not be mastered by anything; no, I will be the master of my own body.” He speaks in verse 12 of subordinating his body for the purpose of pleasing the Spirit; i.e., seeking the desires of the Spirit rather than the desires of the body. Using sexual immorality as an “incidental foundation,” in verses 13-20, Paul advances the concept that Christians do not belong to themselves [i.e. do not live to seek after their own interests] but belong to God [i.e. to seek after His interests]. Thus we need to reflect this true ownership of our bodies by living a life of sacrificing our own interests and desires for the interests and desires of the Spirit. We must consider all aspects of life—morning to night—and we must then live to honor and please God, to reflect our true status as His holy and chosen people, in every aspect of our lives, from the most mundane and trivial to the most important and significant.

1 Corinthians 13 examines the kind of love—Greek agape—that Christians are to have for other people. In context, this chapter says, “Love is greater than any spiritual gift, and it is essential to unity between the brethren.” Yet this still gives us a portrait of the greatest act of sacrifice: sacrificial love towards others. A life of worship involves, at the core, agape love.

a re:dedication

I sat alone in the woods behind the dorms, quietly watching the ants scurry over the rocks. My mind wandered down many avenues, and I found myself (once again) contemplating my life. Let’s be honest: it’s been much better lately. I’ve been doing better with my schoolwork, I have a good summer job lined up, I am lucky to call Courtney Benkert my girlfriend, and I have a brilliant future lying at my feet, waiting to be seized. Yet there is something inside me that doesn’t “sit” right. I heard one of my favorite quotes echoing a sweet refrain through the trees:

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud-pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis)

Infinite joy? I once knew what that was. It is the joy one finds of being completely happy in the embrace of God. There was a day when I knew what that was like—but then I came to a Christian college, and that joy faded like the sunset, and I have found myself in a perpetual night that gives no hint of lifting. But sitting in those woods, feeling the warmth of the sun against my face and the gentle breeze rustling my hair, I heard a whisper of a voice, beckoning me forward to something greater, something more magnificent, something extraordinary and significant. That voice tore through me, leaving in its wake a minefield of objections: “I am not good enough! I have too many vices to deal with! I have fallen from the perch of Christian maturity and fear I can never return!” The voice doesn’t take these objections and push them aside, nor does it quiet them, but, rather, it simply continues to call me forward despite these seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Right now I am the kid making mud-pies in the slum, and God is inviting me into a “holiday at the sea” (whatever that entails).

I have done much thinking, much inventory of my life, and I see where changes need to be made, where “spring cleaning” must take place, where regeneration and crucifixion must exist. Some habits must go, and others must be formed. God is calling me to a life of an intimate, dynamic, experiential dance with Him, but this dance requires that I shed off all the extra weight and don the right gear. All of this thinking and praying has led to a rededication, a recommitment, to God and to His ways.

I recommit myself to seeking God’s face, seeking to live a life of pleasing and honoring Him, to serving Him in all His wild and crazy designs, to loving God with all that I am, to engaging in and advancing His kingdom, to following His will for my life.

I recommit myself to loving everyone—no matter who they are or what I might think of them!—with a selfless, serving, sacrificial, humble, and kind Christ-like love.

I recommit myself to honoring, respecting, and cherishing God’s beautiful and majestic creation.

In doing this, I have rededicated myself to following God’s will for my life. But what is God’s will for my life? I believe He has revealed His will for my life in three different aspects: to engage in His kingdom; to be a good friend, husband, and father, and a good human being in a world full of bad human beings; to pursue a life of teaching and preaching about God and His kingdom, all the while inviting others in.

I understand that I am a weak creature. I do not have the power to “flesh out” these recommitments. I am rather skeptical myself. But I believe this is what God is calling me to, and though I do not know, exactly, what He has planned, I’ll trust that He has a “holiday at the sea” waiting. Perhaps the sun will rise and the darkness will be broken after all.

my eyes hang open in shock...

On a friend's blog I discovered a link that ran a news story forcing me to capture a slur of swear words on the tip of my tongue. I thought my dislike for Pat Robertson could never be matched, but ever since following some of the news with the Westboro Baptist Church, I find myself somewhat more comfortable with the man. Westboro Baptist Church, led by pastor Fred Phelps, is once again shaming the name of Christ and using religion as a platform for their racism and prejudice. When anything bad happens in America, they attribute it to the wrath of God, and they plan on protesting the funerals of those killed at Virginia Tech. The students at Virginia Tech, they proclaim, died as God's punishment for not being true Christians. Phelps said, "The evidence is they were not Christian. God does not do that to his servants." Has he not read the countless stories of the prophets? Has he not read Hebrews 11?

Here is a photograph of one of the protests that the members of Westboro Baptist Church recently led:

The signs of hate the protesters carry include such slogans as "God Hates You," "God Hates Your Tears," "God Is Your Enemy," "Thank God For 9/11," "Thank God for the Tsunami," "Thank God For Katrina," "Thank God For IEDs," "Thank God For Dead Soldiers," "God Hates Fags," and "Thank God For AIDS." Pastor Fred Phelps is quoted as saying, "It's a sin to pray for America," "Hurricane Rita is an answer to the prayers of the suffering saints of Westboro Baptist Church," and "The Lord God Almighty killed [the people who died on 9/11], looked at them in the face, laughed and mocked at each one of them as He cast each one of them into hell."

One of the regal undertones of their "ministry" is "everyone must one day stand before God in judgment." I firmly believe they will one day choke on their own words. The writers of the New Testament tell us that there will come in the "last days" (i.e., the days leading up to the appearance of Christ) many false teachers and false prophets who twist and abuse the gospel message to fit their own agendas. This is what those at Westboro Baptist are doing: they are twisting and abusing the gospel message to validate their own hatred and prejudice against those unlike them. This group is no different than the Nazis, the K.K.K., or the Black Panthers. One day they will stand before God, and I have a good feeling that they will not like what happens. The scriptures tell us that false teachers/false prophets are the only ones who are tortured in hell for all eternity. I am not going to rain judgment upon them, for I am not God, but I do know this: they will be judged for distorting God's truth, for shaming the name of Christ, and for not loving their neighbors as God commands them to do so--and thus not loving God, for those who do not love other people do not love God. I know that God is not in support of their actions, despite their illusions. "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God," writes one of the New Testament authors. May God have mercy on them.

I am pondering, "How should I, as a Christian, respond to them?" Indignation yet compassion burn within me. I am indignant, because I am furious at how these people wear the badge of "Christian" to advance their own agenda, all the while shaming Christ's name and giving Christianity bad media (as if that's something new!). At the same time, I am compassionate, for I know that many of those--indeed, most of those--who are a part of this church have not been allowed outside its confines: they have been restricted to its teachings and culture and have been brainwashed and indoctrinated to believe that everything different from them is evil and that whatever their superiors say is true. As a Christian, I believe, I must speak up against their atrocities, but at the same time I must pray that they will come to understand the truth of the gospel and change their ways: from hating others to loving others, from shaming Christ to following him.

dragons, demons, David

Courtney and I went to the Spencer's at the Florence Mall where I purchased two posters for my dorm room. I already have a poster of a burning phoenix which is pretty cool, but a poster of a dragon perched upon an abandoned church and a poster of death himself leading forward an army of skeletons make the atmosphere a little more cozy. I'm a big fan of the fantasy genre (though I don't read it, which is strange, except for the Lord of the Rings books). As I stepped back and looked at the posters on my wall, I thought about what other Christians might think of it. I happen to know someone who would advocate me to take the posters down: "You're just opening a doorway for demonic influence." I think this is taking it a little too far; I don't think having figurine skeletons and skulls in your room constitutes as a doorway for demonic oppression. This led me to thinking about how often we are so paranoid about things that we take numerous unnecessary steps to protect ourselves. Take demonic oppression, for example. Some people are so frightened of it that they dare not watch horror movies or read horror books, thinking that this serves as a "window" to evil. Personally I think this is a bunch of nonsense, but live and let live. Do I think I am opening myself to demons by hanging up posters with skeleton armies, or watching "Army of Darkness"? No, not at all. Does this mean I completely ignore the fact that the Enemy is out to get me? No, not at all. Random stream-of-thought post, I apologize. In fact, now I wonder why I bothered writing it. Perhaps I will delete this paragraph... I'm really considering it... No, I don't think I will. Moving on...

I am writing a collection of fantasy short-stories. Elves, dwarves, dragons, wraiths, wizards, witches, vampires and werewolves, epic war. The stuff that sells nice and enjoys an endless range of creative leisure. I am looking through Dungeons & Dragons and the Magic card game for inspiration, as well as simply setting aside time to stare into space contemplating all the different storylines I can imagine. I've already gotten about ten pages done on the first short story, and so far it's looking quite nice. I have so many great ideas for this collection, I have to write them down so I don't forget (that will take place after I post this).

I am almost done with Act I of my David paper. I finished the prologue and am moving along quite steadily. Tomorrow I am finishing up my exegesis of 1 Samuel 17, the epic story of David and Goliath. It is a very fascinating read. Dyke and I had a conversation about this, and he pointed out something very interesting. In our translations of the Hebrew of this chapter, Goliath is quoted as taunting the Israelites when David comes out to face him, "Who is this you send against me?! A mere dog?!" A more accurate translation would be, "Who is this you send out against me?! A homosexual?!" Of course, our English translations aren't too fond of that interpretation, so we don't include it. Interesting, though, eh? Dyke is never afraid to speak despite the feedback he might receive. That's what's so wonderful about him--and he's a genius when it comes to the Old Testament.

receiving salvation, part III: confession

When Christians speak of “confession” as a requirement for salvation, they are speaking of a confession before the world of one’s faith in Jesus Christ as Savior, Master, and God in the human flesh. It is an oral, public confession of one’s faith in Jesus Christ as the anointed one, the Messiah, acknowledging the truth of his sacrificial death and resurrection, acknowledging both his deity and humanity, and acknowledging his status as the one and only Savior and as the Master (Lord) YHWH. And, just as it is with repentance, confession is intimately linked with faith (see Rom 10.9-10).

As stated above, the “good confession” as many Christians call it (after Timothy’s public “good confession”, 1 Tim 6.12) is oral (Rom 10.9-10) and public (Mt 10.32). Just as Timothy’s confession of his faith in Christ was public, so Christ’s own testimony of himself was public before Pontius Pilate (1 Tim 6.13). Confession throughout Christian history traditionally takes place at the offset of faith, usually during baptism. While Paul’s words in Rom 10.9-10 speak of a past event (for they are in the Greek “aorist” tense), indicating that confession points to a certain event in the life of a Christian, confession must also take place during the Christian’s life (see John 9.22 & 12.42, Mt 10.32-33, and Acts 24.14). Interestingly, 1 Cor 12.2-3 seems to refer to occasions of life and death.

Jesus confesses before God those who confess him, and he denies before God those who deny him (Mt 10.32-33). The Apostle John tells us that he who denies the Son does not know God, but he that confesses the Son has God. In this vein, whoever confesses in God’s Son abides in God, and God abides in him (1 John 2.23, 4.15). Confession, then, as stated above, while taking place at a certain moment in a Christian’s life, involves a continuing commitment to Christ and following of him.

The Greek word used for “confession” is homologeo, which means “to say the same thing, to agree.” It is acknowledging the truth of something; biblical confession is simply a confession that one believes in Christ as the Son of God (2 Cor 9.13, Heb 3.1, Phil 2.11, 1 John 4.2-3, 2 John 7). This involves a confession similar to Peter’s confession in Mat 16.16, a confession that Jesus is “the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.” When we confess that Jesus is the Messiah, the Christ, the Lord, what is it that we are confessing? The English word “Christ” comes from the Greek christos, which is a translation of the Hebrew word meshiach, from whence comes our English word “Messiah.” The christos and meshiach refer to the “anointed one” prophesied by the prophets of ancient Israel. Confessing that Jesus is the Christ is confessing that he is the Messiah; it is confessing that he is, indeed, the anointed one God promised to send (John 9.22). “What does it mean to be anointed?” To be anointed is to be set apart for a special work; in the Old Testament, kings (1 Sam 16.3, 15), priests (Ex 29.7, 29), and prophets (1 Kgs 19.16) were anointed. Christ’s specific work was bringing the kingdom of God to earth through him and him alone. In confession, we acknowledge that Jesus is not only the Messiah but also the Savior; he holds this title by virtue of his death (Rom 3.25) and resurrection (Rom 10.9). We confess that Christ is divine (Mt 16.16, John 20.28) and yet he was human (1 John 4.2, 2 John 7).

Confession involves, primarily, confessing Christ as Lord (John 20.28, Rom 10.9, 1 Cor 12.13, Phil 2.11, 2 Cor 4.5, Acts 2.36, 10.36). In order to stand the implications of this confession, we must look at what “Lord” meant in the culture and worldview in which the New Testament was originally written. When most people hear the phrase “Jesus is Lord,” they think of a deity who stands far-off, deserving of respect if not reverence, but having little to do with ordinary life. Understanding “Lord” in its original cultural context blows this notion out of the water. “Lord” in its ancient context has three meanings: Master, King, and YHWH. Under the first understanding, when a Christian confesses that Jesus is Lord, he or she is confessing that Jesus is the Master of the universe and all it contains (including daily life), and thus Christ is our owner and we are his bondservants (those who freely serve him). The second meaning is “King.” In this vein, Jesus is the True King, a statement that ran deep with political undercurrents, for Caesar himself claimed to be the true king and Christians said Jesus was King, not Caesar. If Jesus is King, then we, as his subjects, are summoned to obey him—this summons is even starker and clearer for those who claim citizenship in his growing kingdom. Finally, “Lord” is a reference to YHWH: the Greek word for “Lord” is Kyrios, which is the word used for YHWH in the Greek Old Testament (the Septuagint, or LXX). New Testament Jews recognized that Jesus being “Lord” meant that Jesus was YHWH; so, again, when one confesses that Jesus is Lord, he or she is confessing that he is YHWH as a divine human being. In the end, “Lord” is the name over every name (Phil 2.9-11); thus Jesus is the only Lord, and in time all knees will bow before him.

Confession is needed for salvation; in Rom 10.9-10, the Greek word for “resulting in” is eis; an accurate translation can be read, “With the mouth one confesses for the purpose of salvation.” Yet this necessary confession is not only oral; it is also lived out in our daily lives. Anyone can say “Jesus is Lord,” but our lives must show it. We must show that Jesus is Lord in how we live our day-to-day lives. Is this works-salvation? No. It is evidence of a confession that comes from the heart.

a thought on Christian holiness and ethics...

One of the main themes we are discussing in my Pauline Epistles class is the meaning of Christianity and its influence on our behavior. Jamie Smith told us, "To understand Christianity as a set of behaviors or moral applications is a misunderstanding of what Christianity is. Christianity is about a state-of-being. It is about being the renewed Israel of God. It is about being the people of God. It is about being the children of God, the friends of God. It is about being a holy person. We do not inherit this status by birth, we do not earn it through works; rather, it is given to us by grace through the cross of Christ. Those of us in Christ are holy. Our behaviors do not make us any more or any less holy, nor can we become more holy by being better, more loving people. We are already perfectly holy, as holy as we can be, in Christ. This is grace. Paul continuously urges Christians to reflect this status of holiness in their lives by obeying God and seeking to live a life that honors Christ. Our adherence to the behaviors that are reflective of our holiness is not a matter of salvation; however, if someone claims membership in the body of Christ and yet does not seek to adhere to holy living at all, then there might be some questioning of the truth to their claims to be had." Those are his words in summary, not verbatim.

This has really gotten me thinking lately. "How am I reflecting--or not reflecting--the holiness that God has bestowed upon me by His grace through His Son, Christ?" I look at my life and I see ways that I could better reflect my status as God's child and friend. I honestly seek to please God and make Him proud of me, yet I understand that He is already proud of me because He looks at my status, not my behavior. Just as a good father is proud of his child despite his mistakes, errors, and pitfalls, so God is proud of me despite the sin in my life. His affection towards me is not determined by my behaviors; it is determined by who I am in Christ.

This understanding has been both liberating and motivating. On the one hand it is liberating: my status in God's kingdom and my being in His favor is not determined by how well of a Christian I am; it is not determined by my performance; my status cannot be lost or gained by my own works, but exists because of my faith in Christ and the grace God gives me through Him. It is liberating because a weight comes off my shoulders: I humbly acknowledge that I am imperfect, that I am a miserable sinner in need of grace, yet at the same time I am a holy person who is in a dynamic, interactive, intimate friendship with God (Christianity is full of paradoxes, is it not?!). On the other hand it is motivating: obeying Christ is not something to be done in order to attain God's favor (for if that were the route to God's favor, then none of us would find it!), but something we do in thanks to the status God has bestowed upon us. We embrace a life of seeking to please God because this is our real life--the new life God has given us--and we wish to reflect the holy people that we are. In some way, once I have come to the understanding that my favor in God's eyes and my status in His kingdom is not dependent upon performance, I have more of a desire to live according to His will!

With all this said, let me take a step back and examine my life... [examining... okay... done!] In my great and quiet contemplation, two aspects of my life that need changing jump out at me. Two addictions that need to be exterminated. New ways of life need to be embraced in their place. My addictions must change into an addiction for serving God and pleasing Him, however that manifests itself in my daily life.

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. (Colossians 3.1-14, The Message)

"These are bad days," my mom told me on the phone. She's right; but I keep asking myself, "How come it takes a national tragedy to catch our attention to the wickedness swarming our world?" We like to live in isolated bubbles, cocooned in our daily lives, ignorant of what is going on throughout the rest of the world: famine, genocide, race riots, massacres and slaughters, entire continents being torn apart by wars that never even make the evening news. Caleb and I watched the ceremony for the students lost at Virginia Tech on Monday, and I keep recognizing how everyone called this a "global tragedy." This is nothing new, I'm afraid. This is going on throughout the world on a much larger scale, except this time it "hit home."

When I look at the world and events like the shooting at Virginia Tech, I can't help but ask "Why?" It is the age-old attempt to understand those things that are, by nature, beyond our understanding. The governor of Virginia, in his speech yesterday, spoke of the story of the Old Testament character Job, and how when he was stricken with tragedy, he cried out to God, "Why?!" Job did not receive an answer to his cry, only an "I AM GOD... and you are not." Job found himself humbled before the authority, power, wisdom and understanding of the Creator-God. It is strange, in a sense, that Job never received an answer; but then again, maybe it's not so strange at all. Answers to life's most painful questions hardly ever bring relief or solace. We can approach those who lost their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends and family in the shootings and give them a theology of suffering and evil, but that will do little to ease the immense burden on their hearts. All we can do in these moments is cry with them, acknowledging that we do not understand, we may never understand, but trusting in God nonetheless. That is true faith.

My prayers go out to all those affected by the tragedy that struck Monday, and my prayer is that this will open up the eyes of many to the evil in our world. Perhaps we will become more aware of the tragedies striking everyday across our planet, and perhaps we will be moved to action. I am not sure how I can help fight the the injustice and evil in our world today, except through prayer, but I am a firm believer that God's family is one of His key instruments in bringing about justice.

"Why did this tragedy at Virginia Tech happen?" I don't know.
"Why did God allow a crazed madman to kill so many innocent people?" I don't know.
"Why didn't God intervene and stop this atrocity?" I don't know.

All I know is that God weeps with those who weep, and He is the healer and mender of broken souls. May those crushed by this tragedy seek the one who gives sight to the blind, songs to the mute, sound to the deaf, healing for the sick, and the one who shatters the darkness with his glorious light. May we find shelter in the arms of Christ. We don't know the answers to these questions of "Why?!", but in the end, they wouldn't help anyway. What can heal us and bring us peace and joy in these dark hours is not knowledge or wisdom or understanding, but the presence of a compassionate, caring, and merciful God.

this is my life
it's not what it was before
all these feelings i've shared
and these are my dreams
that i'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cause i must be sleeping

now that we're here
it's so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all the mistakes one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we're here it's so far away
and i feel like i can face the day
i can forgive
and i'm not ashamed to be the person that i am today

these are my words
that i've never said before
"i think i'm doing okay"
and this is the smile
that i've never shown before

i'm so afraid of waking
please don't shake me
afraid of waking
please don't shake me

- staind, "so far away"

"Identity": Do Not Worry

Before Courtney and I headed home, we decided to stop by “Identity” at the Garage, a worship gathering for junior high and high school students. My best friend Chris led acoustic worship, and the youth minister Larry took the stage and spoke on fears and worries. “All of us have our fears, and all of us have our worries. We are so often consumed with worry and fear that we find it difficult to trust in God’s provisions.” He used the story of Jesus’ walking on water during the storm, and he spoke on how Peter’s fear stemmed from not trusting in Jesus for safety (the story is found in Matthew 14).

Being an Old Testament fan myself, I immediately thought of the commissioning of Joshua and God’s commands to him: “Don’t you dare be afraid, for I am with you!” Moses had led the Israelites out of Egypt and to the brink of the “Promised Land” of Canaan, but what lied before them was something that produced fear in the hearts of the people: the Canaanites were a mighty people with great warriors, heavily fortified cities, and their practices of child sacrifice and the like would have no doubt aided to the peoples’ fear. When Moses died, his successor Joshua took his place. It was his job to lead the conquest into Canaan. He must have experienced some sort of fear, for in God’s commissioning of him, He tells him over and over, “Do not be afraid!”

"Moses my servant is dead. Get going. Cross this Jordan River, you and all the people. Cross to the country I'm giving to the People of Israel. I'm giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised Moses. From the wilderness and this Lebanon east to the Great River, the Euphrates River—all the Hittite country—and then west to the Great Sea. It's all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." (Joshua 1.1-9, The Message)

Fear and worry is something I deal with in my own life. While I am not given a sword and shield and told to slaughter thousands of people in the name of God, there are things in my life that cause me worry and fear. I am afraid of being alone as an old man. I am afraid of my loved ones suddenly dying or leaving me. I worry about my future, about my relationship with my girlfriend, about whether or not I will be a good preacher of the gospel. I struggle to trust God to take care of my everyday needs. I struggle with “handing over” my fears and worries to God and letting Him work out the details as He so desires. Trusting God has always been a difficulty of mine, and some days are easier than others. I am sure Joshua’s own trust in God fluctuated, and we know from the New Testament scriptures that Peter’s trust in Christ fluctuated immensely and often. Can we really blame either of them? How are we any different?

What is it that fuels such fear and worry, such lack of trust in God? A news story recently revealed that most of the illegal Mexican immigrants who cross the border into America stop practicing their Christian faith altogether. When interviewed, they said, “We needed to depend on God more when we were in Mexico, but now we have everything we need. We can provide for ourselves.” When we become self-sufficient, our everyday needs fall into our own hands. The United States holds such a high position in the world that nearly anyone can have anything they want. Self-sufficiency is the key player on the field. Trust in God is severely downplayed, because people can now provide for themselves. Jesus tells us we must become dependent on God just as children are dependent on their parents, or we will never enter the kingdom of heaven. One of the greatest facets of the gospel is that we as humans are not self-sufficient. We cannot provide for ourselves what we truly need, that is, a renewed friendship with God. We must humble ourselves and put ourselves in the arms of God, and we must trust Him with our lives. When real trust comes into play, fear and worry—while not entirely extinguished, let’s be honest—are greatly reduced.

Whatever the reason(s) for worry and fear, Messiah explicitly tells us not to worry, because if we focus on the kingdom and doing God’s will, God will take care of us. It is a convicting command, yet in it is found tranquility and life:

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matt 6.25-34, The Message)

Courtney has come up to my place this weekend. This evening we went out to eat at China Cottage (my favorite Chinese restaurant), then we went to The Garage to visit friends, and finished out the night with a visit with some friends having a party. Booze and pot was available, but Courtney and I declined. One of the guys there whom I did not know found out that I went to a Christian university, and he asked my view on creationism/evolution. I answered quite poetically, I believe, giving my interpretation of Genesis 1-2 as polemic literature against pagan gods (i.e. Leviathan, the sea serpent of the Babylonians), and I concluded with my own most-likely-wrong opinion that God created the world through the means of evolution; just as an artist paints his masterpiece with a paintbrush, so God paints His masterpiece with evolution [his metaphorical paintbrush].

I had lots of time to think about my future, and I felt really convicted about some things, especially my apathy regarding school. I remember a time when my energy for school burned like a brilliant torch, but now it has, for some unknown reason, been doused. I am just as passionate and just as eager to embrace my future, but I know that I need to be well-equipped to embrace that future, and that involves getting my degree and keeping a solid head on my soldiers. I am not a preacher now, I am not a husband now, I am not a father now: right now I am being formed into the person whom I need to be so that, when those times come, I am well-equipped to deal with them. Just as Paul went into Syria for much time to prepare for his calling before beginning his "professional" preaching ministry, so I must spend much time preparing for my ministry, for the life God has called and continues to call me to.

I woke up around 8:00 and went to McDonald's, grabbing breakfast for Mom and me. Courtney rolled out shortly thereafter, and we hung around till about 11:30 when we went with Dad to the "Great Wolf Lodge" next to King's Island [see the picture below]. It was a really spectacular place. I imagined one day bringing my kids to such a place and enjoying the indoor water park with them. Courtney and I ate lunch at "The K" along Springboro Main Street. A little kid talked to us as he ate his chocolate ice cream; it was adorable! We watched A Beautiful Mind--I always cry at the end when he is awarded the "Lifetime Achievement Award" at Princeton University--but this time I was able to hide my tears so Courtney couldn't see them. Ha! Courtney is presently sitting across from me on the leather couch, Dad is out rock-climbing, Doogie is laying beside the front door, and Mom is bringing us Penn Station for supper. I am not sure what Courtney and I will do tonight.

I lied. I do know what Courtney and I are going to do later: Starbucks date! Lattes and caramel macchiatos! I'm excited; sadly, Starbucks macchiatos are not as good as the ones made at the Hilltop where I work, but--eh--at least the label is nice. I am going to work on my Hebrews 6 lesson for tomorrow and do some research for my David paper, and Courtney is going to... drink coffee and stare at me. She has homework, but I am certain she won't touch it.

The Pictures of the Storm...

I was able to capture this picture of the rainbow just as it was fading. It was the most vivid rainbow I've ever seen in my entire life. It really was spectacular, I'm not even exaggerating. And to top it off, there was another rainbow that intersected it (but it faded before I caught this picture)! In total we saw four rainbows Wednesday night.

I was able to capture this picture of the rainbow just as it was fading. It was the most vivid rainbow I've ever seen in my entire life. It really was spectacular, I'm not even exaggerating. And to top it off, there was another rainbow that intersected it (but it faded before I caught this picture)! In total we saw four rainbows Wednesday night.

Following the beautiful rainbows, another storm rolled in. I wish I would have had my camera earlier, when the earth was bathed in a green/yellow tone from the emerald skies. You can see the storm clouds above rolling over themselves into Cincinnati.

Here is another shot of the storm rolling over Cincinnati. Rain was beginning to fall as I took this snapshot. You can see the skyline, the stadium, and the Ohio River with the Kentucky banks if you look hard enough. This was moments before the big storm hit, and after it did, the sky looked amazing:

Beautiful, isn't it? Emily saw them and ran inside. Tim, Monica, Julie and I stood outside and stared at the clouds, noticing that they were slowly rotating. "Don't tell Emily," Tim said. She would have flipped out. They really are beautiful clouds, though!

*sigh* I love thunderstorms!

Yesterday was quite a busy day. Class till eleven, lunch at noon with Courtney, work 1-4, then hanging out with Caleb and Emily for a few hours. Emily was terrified of the big storm rolling in; coming from Xenia, she's had her fair share of tornadoes. When the first of two big storms rolled through--I have pictures of the storm I hope to put on here tomorrow; it was really cool--the sky became green and calm. Emily ran down the hall of the Worship Ministry building, breathing in horror and shouting, "The sky is green! The sky is green!" We were able to calm her down. I took a drive down Price Hill; two women waved me down, and since it was 10:30 I planned on leaving, but I felt something within me say, Help them. So I gave them a lift to their home (since their car broke down). We talked about a lot of things, mostly C.C.U. She lives on Wilder, right next to the school, and is familiar with many of the C.C.U. students. She lives alone, a divorcee, so she lets kids come and use her house and yard for parties and barbecues and such as that. I have heard one of my friends talk about her before, but I had never met her. She seemed like a pretty neat woman, and I was glad to have shown hospitality to some folk in need (hospitality is something that is in great need nowadays).

I have a large paper on the life of David to write, so I'll start doing research on that tomorrow. It will be a long paper, serving as the midterm and final exam of my "Life of David" class. The schematics and outlines are all up to us. I have decided to divide the paper as such, using "Acts" instead of "Parts" to try and capture the life of David as a story, not a set of historical facts irrelevant to us in our own age:

Prologue: The Evolution of a Nation
Act I: David's Early Years

Act II: David the Warrior

Act III: David the Fugitive

Act IV: David the King

Appendix I: David, His Legacy

Appendix II: The Davidic Covenant

I'm really excited to be writing this paper. I'll post the "Acts" as I go through them.

christians & tattoos

Dancing between doing homework, taking a nap, and wondering where my future is headed, I felt exhausted and decided to take a break to do a little browsing on the internet. On one of my friend's websites is a posted article that describes an original Easter service where a member of the congregation had a cross tattooed on his arm during the celebration and worship. The pastors of the church confessed that while they are aware of the great stigma that comes along with tattoos, especially when it comes to Christians, they also realize that the stigmas against tattoos are ill-placed and founded on a misinterpretation of Old Testament texts. The pastor’s hope was to show Easter in a new light and to reveal that the church doesn’t need to be uptight.

I have met many Christians who are extremely opposed to tattoos. My father’s side of the family is very conservative, and they believe tattooing is wrong because it is forbidden in the Bible. The text they refer to is found in Leviticus, verse 28: “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am YHWH.” It is obvious, isn’t it? God does not want us to cut our bodies. Why? The most popular answer is because tattooing scars our bodies and is unhealthy; to this I insist that tattooing when done right is quite sanitary, no more dangerous than eating at McDonald’s three times a week! Also, how can we explain the tattoo Christ wears in Revelation 19.16, where Christ appears before the earth as the Mighty Warrior and has a tattoo on his thigh reading “King of Kings and Lord of Lords”? With the most popular answer discredited to a great degree, we must ask ourselves, “Why would God not want the Israelites to tattoo themselves?” The answer, I believe, comes with an understanding of the purpose behind Old Testament Law and the history and culture in which that law was given.

The Old Testament Law was given by God to the people through Moses for certain purposes. When we look at the Old Testament laws, we see that they are communal in nature, not individual as many people assume (though communal obedience implies individual obedience). The laws, ordnances, taboos, and customs of the Old Testament, while looking extremely strange to us in our Western cultures, helped keep the nation united and protected the identity of the Jews as God’s chosen people. The purpose of the Law, then, was primarily twofold: unity and identity. The laws separated the Jews from their pagan neighbors and served to keep the Jews united as a nation under their tribal deity YHWH. We must understand this in order to understand the nature of many Old Testament laws that seem strange to us… including the ordnance against tattooing.

But this doesn’t answer our question: “Why is tattooing such a big deal in the ancient world, to the degree that God does not want His people doing it?” The Israelites moved into the land of Canaan, known as the Promised Land, which rests along the eastern curve of the Mediterranean Sea. When they moved into the land, they entered a culture where the worship of pagan gods held as the primary goal of life. Worship of these pagan gods included such acts as the torture and sacrifice of children and the selling of virgins into “holy” prostitution. One of the most revered gods of the land was the chief god Baal, whose worshippers offered human sacrifices to him and marked themselves while trying to placate him. This is vividly seen in Elijah’s encounter with the Baal prophets on Mt. Carmel, where the prophet Elijah’s god YHWH went against the god Baal… and won. The text tells us how the Baal prophets tried to placate Baal to win the “contest” against YHWH and thus reveal his divine power (1 Kings 18). First the Baal prophets began to try and placate Baal by standing in a prayer vigil before him; when he failed to show up, they began cutting themselves with swords and spears, practicing bloodletting practices in order to conjure up an answer from their god. They would have marked their arms and forehead to try and bring the god to answer; this was the customary practice of Baal worship in the day.

Throughout the days of the Old Testament, Baal is YHWH’s number-one enemy (even though he is simply a figment of the imagination!). God knew what the Israelites would be encountering in the land of Canaan, and He wanted the Israelites to be distinguished from association with Baal. In the culture of the biblical days, to have a “tattoo” was to present yourself as a worshipper, prophet, or priest of Baal. The Israelites did not belong to Baal but to YHWH, and they were to associate with Him and Him alone.

In our culture today, Baalism is destroyed: the Romans crucified thousands of Baal’s worshippers on the road to Carthage and thus extinguished the Baal cult. Tattoos today carry no identity with the Baal cult, for the Baal cult does not exist! If there are any immoral associations with tattooing, then Christians (as followers of Christ/YHWH and set apart from the immorality of the world) should avoid them (or at least cover them up). In my mind and in my opinion, tattooing is perfectly okay in God’s eyes in our Western society. However, we must be careful to not get a tattoo if our conscience tells us not to, for then we are sinning (1 Cor 8.7), and if we are surrounded by people who consider tattooing to be a sin, we ought to not get a tattoo or at least get it somewhere where they cannot see it so that their faith is not weakened by our apparent disobedience to God (1 Cor 8.9-13).

My girlfriend has two tattoos, and I think they are really neat. I plan on getting a few tattoos when I graduate from college. I want to get a Celtic cross on one arm and the Greek word for “pilgrim/sojourner” on my other arm. As someone going into the ministry one day, I am prepared to cover them for the sake of those who may find them sinful, because I do not wish to erect a stumbling block to their faith.

When I was younger, I went to an easter party where we innocent children were greeted by a man dressed in an easter bunny costume handing out candy. The beauty of the celebration quickly evaporated that night, when I had one of my first memorable childhood nightmares: I found myself in a completely dark gymnasium, utterly alone, and a great mist rose up from the ground as a giant easter bunny with fangs stalked me; although I tried to escape, it quickly overcame me, picked me up in its clawed hands, and sank its fangs into my neck, sucking my blood. This dream, thankfully, did not repeat itself (to my knowledge), quite unlike my two other prominent childhood dreams. In the first, I was all alone in the house, being hunted by a demented Big Bird (yes, Sesame Street) who had a long neck and giant wings with a wingspan of the living room; this creature would chase me to my parents' bedroom, where I would lock the door and run under the bed; I would hear it slamming its beak against the door and shrieking right before I would wake up. The other one (and this one is the one I feared the most) was a dream where I found myself suspended in a closet, surrounded by these dark-skinned, goblin-looking creatures who took their slender, foot-long claws and drove them through my back over-and-over. I would literally wake up arching my back and gasping for air. I think that counts as a night terror? Anyways, I saw this picture and it made me remember my innocent childhood days... And no wonder I like writing horror so much; my dreams continue to plague me!

Courtney and I went to Student Life to do homework, but we ended up writing poems to one another before she took us out to eat at Wendy's. Here is one of the silly poems she wrote me:

When you fart it touches my heart.
You give me chills like OD'ing on pills.
Your smile gleams like a fat kid with ice cream.
Your kiss is filled with much goodness and bliss.
When your hand takes mine, I feel so fine.
Sweeter than sugar, warmer than piss;
you're my boyfriend and I do like this.

My girlfriend cracks me up.

She went to a Catholic high school in the heart of western Cincinnati, and much of what she experienced there turned her away from Christianity. However, she found solace in a youth group of a Methodist church, and she became a Christian during her high school years. While holding protestant views, she continued to go to the Catholic high school. Being the type of girl who is always eager to speak her mind no matter the consequences (for better or for worse), she often got herself into much trouble. In one class, she was taught a certain doctrine she disagreed with, and when she asked why the teacher believed that doctrine to be true even though it went against certain elemental Christian beliefs, the teacher replied, "Because the Pope says it's true." To that, Courtney viciously responded, "Well, who the hell does the Pope think he is?!" She was quickly cast out of the class. Another time, in Religion Class, the teacher said, "The cross is great and everything, but we still need to do good works in order to find ourselves in God's good graces." She hotly denied this, but was told she was wrong. She returned the next day with scripture passages from various New Testament letters and refuted the teacher. She was put in the hall for the rest of the year for "disturbing the peace."

Courtney is not a big fan of the Catholic faith, primarily because she has been so torn by it. She does confess, though, "I know there are so many good Catholics out there. Most of the nuns I've met were extremely mean to me, but I remember a couple who were the sweetest ladies in the world. I just wanted to hug them and never let go!" My favorite writer on the Christian faith, N.T. Wright, is Catholic himself. I don't agree with everything Catholicism teaches, but I am not going to play the role of God and count them out of the "league of orthodoxy." In fact, I will go so far as to say that there are things that attract me to Catholicism--the aesthetics, for example.

Anyways, my girlfriend cracks me up. As we were walking Newport on the Levee one night, I told her, "You're like the feminine Apostle Paul. Your sarcasm is deep, you speak your mind no matter what, and you're not afraid to offend people with what you think is the truth. It's admirable." Although, let's not forget, the Apostle Paul didn't have many close friends. Nevertheless, I like this girl and am proud to call her my girlfriend.

easter re:visited

The resurrection is the focal point of the Christian faith. Going hand-in-hand with Jesus’ torture and death, the resurrection serves as a signpost to something great going on in our world. I can’t count on my fingers the number of sermons I’ve heard or read that tell us that Jesus’ resurrection took place to show us that we will go to heaven when we die, and that we can have hope in this life that things will get better in the next. This is perhaps one of the greatest misconceptions about the resurrection that I have ever heard. So give me a moment and let me tell you what I think the resurrection is all about, and why Easter should be celebrated everyday. So, behold: my *current* interpretation of “Easter.”

The early Christians called Jesus “the Christ.” Christ is a Greek word for Messiah. “Who is the Messiah?” Jesus believed he was the Messiah, and Christians believe, too, that he is the Messiah. To understand the implications of Jesus’ identity as the Messiah, we need to look down through the centuries of ancient Jewish thought, where a theology of waiting for the Messiah developed. The Jews anxiously awaited the Meshiach (or Messiah in Hebrew), and the Israelite poets and prophets spoke of this Messiah. They prophesied that he would be a human figure who was somehow divine, they believed that through the Messiah God would truly become king of the entire universe, and this would take place when God would overthrow the oppressing world empires (in the days of Jesus, the great oppressing empire was the Empire of Rome). These empires—these “monsters”—would be judged by the Messiah, and this would be the beginning of the coming of God’s kingdom, where God would rule the world in a sovereign and evident way, judging evil, vindicating His people, putting everything to rights, and making the world beautiful. The resurrection, I believe, is a testament to the true arrival of God’s kingdom, and thus a testament to one of the greatest themes of the kingdom of God: the new creation.

When we speak of the “new creation” in the biblical sense, we are not speaking of something entirely new. Rather, we are speaking of a creation that will be restored, rejuvenated, regenerated, made complete. The prophets spoke of the Messiah coming and bringing justice, restoring the Temple, re:invigorating the Law, and bringing worldwide peace and prosperity as he “replants” the Garden of Eden (the clearest picture of this “new creation” is not found in Revelation, as many surmise, but in Genesis 1-3). The Messiah will enact a great reversal, a “homecoming” of Eden, and Christians understand this “new creation” to be taking place in Christ. Has Christ completed the new creation? No. He is currently at work bringing this new creation to work, working through the Holy Spirit and through his followers, Christians. When the new creation is finally complete (something theologians call the “consummation”), the universe will be restored to its original beauty and grandeur: the inhabitants and its cities will be beautiful, peaceful animals will fill the countryside, and the mountains and hills will sing for joy.

When Christ rose from the dead, the new creation began. A new era in the history of humanity dawned. It was the era the prophets spoke about, the era of the birthing of a new creation. As I write this, God is at work in the world, spinning the universe into a mosaic of beauty (many of you may wonder if I am postmillennialist; in answer to that question, I respond, “I’m not sure.”). As Christians, we should look at the resurrection of Christ as the beginning of the new creation, a restored universe that includes everything from the tiniest microbes to the vastest galaxy clusters. And we should see the greatest beauty in this new creation: our restored relationship with God. Eden is being reversed; the greatest curse laid upon us by God for our grave rebellion was becoming cut-off from His friendship. But now, through the suffering and resurrection of the Messiah, we are able to become friends with Him if we so desire. The resurrection invites us—no, summons us—to embrace the reality of the new creation, letting it saturate our lives, and to co-labor with God in bringing His new creation to pass.

I planned on sleeping in till 12:30, 1:00, but I rolled out around 9:00, much to my dismay. I have spent my day so far watching movies: "The Lion King," "Jacob's Ladder," and Dad and I went and saw "Ghost Rider" (not as good as I had hoped it would be). Dad is pacing around the kitchen making his grilled fish, Doogie is curled up beside the sofa, in his own little world, Mom and Amanda are sunbathing in Cancun, and Courtney is lying in bed with a splitting headache. I imagine I will spend the rest of my day working on some homework, maybe hammering out a few pages in a project, and working on a special post tomorrow entitled "Easter Re:visited," where I will take many modern misconceptions about the meaning of Easter and replace them with what I view to be the correct "interpretation" of what happened that first Easter Sunday when a crucified Jewish Rabbi rose from the dead fully alive.

I landed a summer job five hours north working at a Christian Summer Camp as a paid staff counselor. My duties will include preaching, leading Bible studies, and helping out with day-to-day activities with the campers, aged 6 to 18. I am actually going to be working with two of my best friends from school: Kyle and Amos. I should have about a month off scattered between the camps where I can come home, spend time with family and friends, and visit my girlfriend who is going to be working full-time and then some this summer. I'm pretty excited. Hopefully I'll be able to lose some much-in-excesses weight.

I have felt really convicted lately about many things. More on this soon, I imagine.