the 25th week

The Anchor's getting a little too classy for my tastes...

Memorial Day. At 9:00 I met up with Tony & Jessie at The Anchor, who’re in town from Illinois. I got coffee, bacon, eggs and toast. It was great catching up. I took Jessie by work, made us some iced lattes and threw together the food order. I planned on doing some reading at Eden Park, but it was super crowde for Memorial Day and there was nowhere to park, so that fell through. Blake and Isaac returned from North Carolina, and Traci joined us for an evening at Amos’. I went to bed rather early. The Wisconsinite was in a rather stand-offish mood and told me that “we need to talk ASAP.” My intuition: she’s changed her mind. 

Tuesday. I went to The Anchor to do some writing. A fly landed in my coffee and I drank it anyways. Isaac, Ams, Amos, Frank, Rebecca and I hit up Rock Bottom for Pint Night. We got five appetizers and countless beers for $5. Damned good deal. We rounded out the night taking shots and watching an Animal Planet documentary on “real-life mermaids” at Frank’s place. And, as expected from the start, Mandy K. changed her mind. I was too secular for Mo and not Christian enough for the Wisconsinite. I just can’t win. Her revoking the whole “let’s try again” didn’t cause me much pain, mainly because I was wise enough not to put much stock in her words over the weekend, and I didn’t feel sad so much as I felt mad. I reigned my tongue, no reason not to be civil. Knowing I’m not “good enough” for her (quite literally) my be positive: perhaps my affections, my love, can wither under quiet anger. All in all, I now know that we have no future, and I can move forward in the hope that I’ll find someone who stirs me up like she did and who treated me as well as Mo did.

Wednesday. My 4-day weekend is over. The best way to get over Mandy K. is to get out there, so after work I freshened up and went on a date with a chick named Amanda (ironic, is it not?) at Awakenings in Hyde Park (where I awkwardly ran into Brandon making an emergency delivery). Amanda and I got coffee and sat out on the square and talked for an hour. She seemed cool, but no real connection. A very innocent-looking girl, and she didn’t get any of my jokes. Oh well. I wasn’t expecting, even wanting, anything in the first place. Ams & Josh joined me back home, and we watched Arrested Development and chewed on Starbursts and ate brownies.

Thursday. Frank & I oepend together. I spent the afternoon playing Dead Island: Riptide. Around 5:00 I went to The Anchor to do some writing and reading prepping for Small Group. Small Group went well: we made a fire, cooked s’mores, enjoyed Yuengling and bourbon Tom Collins’ (so… not Tom Collins’), and we talked about the book. Always good and refreshing.

Friday. Eric & I opened. It felt like a Wednesday rather than a Friday, since I had Monday and Tuesday off. Back home I played Dead Island: Riptide and Ams came over and fixed us baked pasta. Isaac got some shitty news: his mom has an invasive form of lung cancer, and there’s not much they can do about it. And she was perfectly fine not two weeks ago. His brother John came over, and we went to the Happy Hollow and took shots for their mom. John’s dad is doing really bad and now Isaac’s mom is in the same boat. Death. Fucking. Blows.

Saturday. I’m thinking Mandy K. made the right decision: she deserves someone far better than me. I’m not perfect, and that’s okay, but I do have a lot of growing to do. I can’t flagellate myself: my struggles and fuck-ups are normal, and I have God’s forgiveness. There’s a lot of growing to be had, but growth comes from looking forward rather than backward, and I need to remember that. I slept until 2 PM, woken up by an intruder (Ams), and I joined her on the sofa and promptly passed out for another few hours. We went to Amos’ for an evening of hockey and ordered Domino’s for dinner.

Sunday. I went to The Anchor for morning coffee, hit up U.C.C. for church, and then played some Dead Island back home. I picked up Wendy’s for lunch and then enjoyed said Wendy’s with Isaac and Amos at the Loth House. I spent the afternoon writing and made a trip to Kroger before Ams arrived for a Sunday Night Dinner: steak, mashed potatoes, and cream corn. Pan-seared, homemade, and paired with Tuscan boule and a garlic vinaigrette dipping sauce. Fantastic!