You may have noticed that a lot of posts from the last couple months are gone. It’s simple, really: I saw how slanderous my words regarding the Wisconsinite had been. They were born out of a grieving, angry heart. I regret the things I’ve written and I’ve regretted the things I said. At least one of these can be taken back. I’ve deleted anything that defaces her reputation. The words I’ve spoken are understandable, and the anger I've felt isn't remarkable: when you make yourself that vulnerable to someone, when you plan a life and family with someone, and when that person turns her back on you and cuts you out of her life, the feelings I've felt are the natural feelings. To not feel them would be a mark of sociopathy. The way I've handled (or, if we're being honest, not handled) those feelings has been far from exemplary. I think what I did was wrong. I’ve sought restitution and forgiveness, and I’ve found it. The hardest part is always forgiving yourself for hurting someone you care about.
I have a second interview with the Associate Pastor position.
I’m hoping it goes well. Obviously.
In that vein…
This blog may be going private. Since there’s the possibility that I may end up in a ministry gig, it’d be wise to hide this blog. Let’s be honest: there’s a lot on here that could get me in trouble. I write about drinking. I use cuss words. I’ve been open about my struggling, and congregational gossips love nothing more than someone who is struggling. If I do get a ministry job, you’ll still be able to read my blog. By making it private, this will simply mean that YOU must have a Google account (they’re free and connected to Gmail); you will request to view my blog, and I’ll approve you, and then you can browse to your heart’s content. I just want to keep it away from all those peeping toms (especially with the borderline pornography I post with my half-naked pictures).
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