truth be told

My life sucks. If I didn't have a reason to live--if I didn't have Jesus--I would take my own life and get out of this nightmare. In the past I tried to commit suicide twice during my "dark months". Most people I know don't like me; my friends spread lies about me; I am back-stabbed and betrayed by those I trust. The number of my real friends dwindle. Those I am surrounded in every day--including my "closest" friends--ignore me and reject me, look at me in disgust. I have a few meager good friendships. I can barely have a friend who is a girl, a girlfriend is out of the question--I'm too ugly and unpopular for any luxury like that. Truth be told, I hate my life, and almost everything about it. I am a no-talent, ugly, stupid, good-for-nothing, waste-of-space, bottom-of-the-toilet, back-of-the-mind, run-of-the-mill, social reject, whom hardly anyone cares about, thinks about, notices, someone people don't want to know, someone everyone wishes wasn't around, who might as well not exist because no one gives a crap. My mind overflowing. Sorrow. Pain. Anger. Tears. All my problems are mine and mine alone--the last person I can count on is another person who believes in Jesus; most of those I've met frankly don't care for me.