This weekend I looked over the dog of some friends from Southwest who are moving to South Carolina. I am happy I've been given this opportunity, because without much to do, I was driven to spend a lot of time in prayer and contemplation. God has spoken to me so many times this weekend, comforting me in my struggles and whispering sweet-somethings in my ear. I am so thankful that He loves me and it's not a political love; He loves me because He likes me, not because He's the Creator and all. He has just been speaking to me His will and quieting my fears and worries about the future. He's like a Daddy. A very powerful Daddy.

Today during unplugged worship, Adam said that when we come to encounter God in a holy and wild way, the response isn't, "Wow, this is neat," but "Woe is me." It reminds me of the prophets who might've thought they were all big and bad to be God's representatives, but when they saw the holiness and power of God, they cried out, "Woe is me," without faking it. Or Peter, who saw Christ's glory on the mountaintop, and upon the revelation fell down on his face in terror. I haven't had any visions of Christ glowing like a torch in the night, but I have heard His voice, I have felt His touch, I have felt just an inkling of His insane, passionate, indescribable and agape love. And my response: "Woe is me."

One of the things God presented to me, something I realize I really need to deal with, is my materialism. It really consumes me. Materialism infects our society and it hasn't escaped me. It has even gotten worse; I know it's wrong, I know it's foolish, I know it's just plain stupid, but sometimes I see a book or a Bible and I think, "Wow, if I had that, I would be able to become a better disciple of Christ." So I veil my materialism in spirituality to try and hide it and make it O.K. God called me out on it and pretty much said, "Stop." Besides, becoming a better disciple of Christ is about being transformed by God, not by reading ink-on-paper. I can't undo the past fruit of my materialism, but I can make a movement now to kill it off. I realize that my materialism is rampant and ugly and not like Christ at all and as a disciple of Christ, I must rid of it.

Here are some steps I hope to accomplish, at least for three months (a manageable goal):

1) Don't spend money on material goods that aren't absolutely necessary

2) Don't spend money on food (I have a meal-plan)

3) Divide total money into sums for weeks/months and give the money to various charities

I believe this is what God is calling me to do, and He seems to have said, "Three months." After that, who knows? I know that it will be hard for me, especially when reading Adam's blog or talking to Rochelle and hearing all the great books they're reading. I know it will be hard when all my friends and I go to Applebee's and I am sitting there in the booth eating something I got in the campus coffee-shop. But Christ never said His way would be easy all the time; He simply said it was the Way, and I am a follower of His, and therefore I claim the Way as my own.