As I walked out onto the deck this morning, I came face-to-face with several cardinals chirping and playing in the snow. The moment I saw it, a great wind of relief and comfort washed over me, and I heard a whisper in my ear, perhaps from the Spirit of God: "See how I take care of these cardinals? Don't you think I will take care of you, too? See how I care so much for these cardinals? Don't you think I care for you? I will take care of you, Anthony, and I do care for you: immeasurably more than I care for those cardinals!"
It would be incorrect for me to say that I am going through a hard time right now. Wrestling with manic-depression, coming face-to-face with painful memories I buried underneath my conscious, and having to wake up every morning depressed because I dream of "returning" memories makes life very hard for me. I would also be incorrect to say that I am alone. One of my good friends is dealing with an extreme amount of heartache and heartbreak right now. It hurts me to see her like this, and I want to do whatever I can to help her get to the point where the pain doesn't hold her back from the great things God has in store for her. However, I know there is only so much I can do. My hope and prayer is that the sparrow that brought peace to me may bring peace to her.
For Messiah has told us,
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek the first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Jesus, Mt 6.25-33, ESV
I love how "The Message" paraphrases verse 33: "Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." The Contemporary English Version is excellent, too: "But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well."
In suffering, it isn't easy to put God's work first and do what He wants. Sometimes it feels rather antithetical: "Why obey God when He's putting me through such suffering?" And I speak from experience! These are thoughts and questions I've wrestled with over the past several months. But yet I continue to trust God and continue to try and please Him day-by-day. I have to take it day-by-day. That's just how I work. Each day is a struggle, each day is a battle, and taking it day-by-day is the best way I can handle it. Perhaps this is what Jesus had in mind when he said in verse 34, "Don't worry, therefore, about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have enough of its own worries. Take it one day at a time."
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