the 11th week

Monday. I hand lunch in the Hilltop with Jobst, and Mikaela and I hung out until my 2:30 class. We talked about her boy troubles and my girl troubles. I have been praying that God will bring me a wife. Not a girl, but a wife. Brock, Lipely and I went to the Beer Sellar on the river, then proceeded back to campus. I hung out with Ams for a bit, and then Jessie and I went to Kroger. Mandy K. and I met up in the Oratorium in the Worship Ministry building and had a fantastic conversation about sexual immorality, past and present, and finding satisfaction in God. “You’re really interesting!” she exclaimed.

Saint Patrick’s Day. I went to breakfast with Jessie and Ams. I got off work at the Hilltop early and had my ritualistic Acai Berry Smoothie while hanging out with Jessie, Mandy K., and Isaac. Jessie and I went to Geology, and then I hung out with Mandy K. for an hour, chatting and laughing. I cleaned my car and sprayed it down, and then I called Mikaela. “Are you ready?” I picked her up and we went to Pompilio’s in Newport for dinner, and then we got ice cream at Coldstone. It was a good time. After dropping her back off I got gas and hung around in my room for a bit before hanging out in the Hilltop.

Wednesday. I went to breakfast with Kugler and Bethany. After work Hensel and I went to the Beer Sellar to smoke, drink, and work on Romans homework. In the evening I wrote a paper and hung out with Faikham, Deshay, Kugler, and Klink.

Thursday. I had class, work, and then an exam. I went to Mt. Echo for a while, and then Jessie and I went to Claddaugh Irish Pub to celebrate our birthdays (hers is on the 8^th, too). I went to The Anchor afterwards and wrote a short story, The Boy Who Lost Her. It’s really depressing, albeit good, and inspired my developing “feelings” for Mandy K., it’s about the tragedy I fear will happen: I will fall in love, a real and genuine and heart-wrenching love, with a girl whom I’ll never be able to tell.  “Your hands aren’t made for holding cards, they’re made for gathering nuts.” That would be Ams.

Friday. I went to Mom & Dad’s after my 8:00 class and did laundry, and then I went back to campus and hung out with Faikham, Deshay, and Mandy K. We listened to music and did homework. I had dinner at the Golden Eagle and then a bunch of us played Egyptian Ratscrew in Student Life. I sat next to Mandy K. Our arms touched. Her hair smelled wonderful. Everyone went bowling tonight, and I didn’t want to go, so I went back to Mom & Dad’s and was up until 4 AM contemplating life and romance and tragedy and God and how they’re all interlinked.

Saturday. I woke to a debate of politics raging in the living room. I slept on the sofa because Grandma, Aunt Teri, and Uncle Bill are here. I spent the morning drinking coffee and doing nothing. Grandpa B. came down and helped us mulch up some tree limbs and brush and bramble. Aunt Teri, Grandma, Mom & I went to Subby’s for lunch; Ams came up from Cincinnati and joined us. We went to Olive Garden for dinner with Dad and Uncle Bill joining us. I had a glass of Spumante and some mussels. When I got back home, I jumped in my car and drove to The Garage on Main Street. Jimmy M. invited me. I was there for an hour before taking Megan M. back to her place. I have a problem being in large groups where there’s lots of noise. I told Mandy K. about it over the phone tonight. “I feel overwhelmed, isolated, extremely lonely in such situations.” I had to leave the Garage and sit in my car for a bit and read my Bible before feeling better.

Sunday. Aunt Teri stepped on a coal and jumped back and sprained a muscle in her back. We called an ambulance and the paramedics took her to the hospital. Now she’s drugged up and doing better. Gambill told me, “Tell Mandy K. how you feel.” No—she’s leaving in less than two months, and I’ll never see her again. “Sometimes long distance helps relationships,” he said. Just like it helped me and Courtney? I made a compromise: “If my feelings for her become overwhelming, then I’ll let her know absent any expectation.”