There are many things I wish to change about myself (be they physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional), but I so often feel chained to the past, unable to embrace anything new. I feel like I am drowning just beneath the surface of the water, shrieking for air while my flailing arms are able to break the surface, where my eyes can catch the sunlight coming down: absolute agony! Does anyone else feel this way, or is this unique to me? I look at my life and see all the things I want to change, and as I am contemplating how to go about the change, a quiet voice whispers in the back of my mind, "This is the hand life has dealt you. You cannot change it. You can only accept it and be content." Now, I don't know what I think about fate and destiny and all that (part of me believes in it, part of me doesn't; jury's still out), but I do believe that we do not have to just "accept" how we are with nothing more to look forward to than forced contentment!
This is why I love the Jena Malone movie "Confessions of an American Girl." In the movie, Jena Malone's character has one of the crappiest lives ever: her boyfriend uses and abuses her, her father treats her like dirt, her family is falling apart. It is entirely depressing; yet in the end, she and her family pack up and move to Florida to start a "new life." Sometimes I just want to uproot and move to Florida (in the figurative sense) to start life all over again. Well, maybe I can do this without actually leaving the state :).
P.S. Ashlie is such a pretty girl. She is the most beautiful I have ever seen. (Ashlie is sitting here and made me write this)
This is why I love the Jena Malone movie "Confessions of an American Girl." In the movie, Jena Malone's character has one of the crappiest lives ever: her boyfriend uses and abuses her, her father treats her like dirt, her family is falling apart. It is entirely depressing; yet in the end, she and her family pack up and move to Florida to start a "new life." Sometimes I just want to uproot and move to Florida (in the figurative sense) to start life all over again. Well, maybe I can do this without actually leaving the state :).
P.S. Ashlie is such a pretty girl. She is the most beautiful I have ever seen. (Ashlie is sitting here and made me write this)
4 comments:
You ain't alone! :0) Everyone continues to ask that question no matter how young or old you are. See what you have to look forward too - ha! Really, though, I was just reading today the first & second chapters of Phillipians and how Paul found real joy in the midst of adversity. I really thought about his conditions and kinda got depressed but he was happy and singing - what' up with that? :0)
After I readjusted my thinking I remembered there's always someone somewhere more alone in other ways than I am or you are.
Also remember you can't run from yourself. :0)
My best friend thought she could run away from herself (problems) and trecked to Arizona with all her furniture. Only to move back months later b/c she still wasn't happy. Hmmm! She then eventually moved back to Arizona b/c her parents were out there and now is a deputy for Maricopa County. She's crazy anyway :0)...I can say that cause she's my best friend :0).
I know you were speaking figuratively when you were talking of moving but sometimes a change of pace does ya well.
I know exactly how you feel...
I don't know why anyone would think the answer to their life's problems is found in Arizona...
I think it is possible to start a "new" life, as long as you want to :)
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