In the mornings our shipments come in for the coffee shop; they're delivered to the dining hall, and I have to run up there, read the invoice, and pick them all up to cart them down to the cafe. The invoice included some frozen wraps for our deli sandwiches. I proceeded to enter into the freezer, around -10 degrees, searching for the wraps. I finally found them, picked them up, and when I turned around, I realized the door had shut on me! I set the boxes down and pushed on the door, but it wouldn't budge. I scanned the door and saw a label saying, "Turn the knob on the door counter-clockwise if shut in." So I began looking for the knob... except it was nowhere to be found! I moved boxes away from the door, but no knob. I moved boxes away from the icy walls, but no knob! I'd been in there about three minutes, and I was shaking from the cold, my nostrils stuffing up, and I started to knock on the door, desiring to be released. No reply. I thought to myself, "The door is so thick, they probably can't help me!" The dining hall staff had already grabbed all their frozen supplies, so they had no reason to come in. I began seeing images of my little body curled up in the corner, eyes glossed over, skin a gruesome purple, wild hair frozen like icicles. Honestly, I began to panic as I started hammering on the door, shouting for help. I'd been having the squirts all morning, I hadn't had a chance to use the bathroom, and what with the fear and all washing over me... well, I pooped myself. I was quite embarrassed, but didn't care: I was going to freeze to death! Suddenly the door opened and one of my friends--Jessica Cadwell--stood there. "I got locked in," I said. She laughed. "The door doesn't lock." "But I was locked in!" "You just have to push." "I did push." "Push harder." She shut the door on me. I pushed harder and it swung open. I walked bow-legged back to the coffee shop and promptly used the restroom, cleaning my mess.

You may never look at me the same.