an albino justin bieber

But seriously, who WOULDN'T want to date an albino Justin Bieber?

I've had a couple people ask me about these dates I've gone on; in Amanda's words, "Where all these girls be at?" They say one of the best ways to get over someone is to "get out there," casually date, and see that there are "more fish in the sea." The problem is twofold: (1) I'm not a fan of casual dating, and (2) there aren't many women quite like the Wisconsinite. Meeting women only reminds me of my love for her and how much I lost when I lost her. She isn't easily replaceable.

These women are women I've met through church or work. One was a customer that came into Tazza Mia every day, and she was always rather persistent while Mandy and I were together. I made it very clear that I was taken and awkwardly refused any advances (I can't help but be awkward when I do anything). She found out Mandy and I weren't together, and she invited me out for drinks to "get things off my chest." So I said why not, and we met up at Rock Bottom, and long story short, it just made me all the more depressed as I remembered Mandy and I sharing drinks there back in January. The other two, I don't feel like going into it, but I don't talk to one of them anymore because she was kinda weird, but with the third we're still friends, and we both prefer it that way. Casually dating may be a good idea for some people, but it isn't for me, and this is why:

First, my heart still belongs to Mandy. End of story. I can't even look at another woman without seeing her as subpar to the Wisconsinite. Period.

Second, dating to "move on" feels dishonest to me. With one of the three women, I was up front about where my heart is, and I think by confessing that I was trying to pull myself out of a pit I had dug by going on more than one date. When she said she didn't mind, it terrified me. She has genuine feelings for me and wanted to see where it went. I said No.

Third, it still feels like cheating. When I was out with these women, the whole time I felt like I was betraying Mandy. It's stupid, I know. But I still felt that way. I've been told I'm fiercely loyal, and apparently that loyalty stretches too far. But I can't change it.

Being single is great. It's far better than being with someone you don't love. But being single sucks if you're single because the woman you love and planned a life and family with decides she's suddenly not all about it. I would rather be with Mandy, but if not with Mandy, I'd rather just be single. I didn't date Mandy because I wanted a girlfriend; I dated her because I loved her. There's no one else I want to be with besides her, and dating anyone else would just feel like settling.

So... I hope that answers anyone's questions.