Reading Mike Box's posts on his gathering, 3rd Place, and seeing how God is blessing it, seeing how people are getting into it, I can't help but feel a few traces of envy.
The gathering I started, called flame, saw its birth about six months ago, near the end of May, just before school let out. It was awesome. We had six or seven people, and we went to North Park, sat out on the lawn, and just talked about God and what Jesus meant when he said we need to have faith like a child. Everyone was intensely in love with God and in love with each other, and many remarked it was the best gathering they'd ever been to. Eventually we reached our peak of nineteen people. But slowly the numbers began to fall away. It was sort of like a plague - one person started treating the whole thing like a joke, then another, and another. Then people started gossiping behind each others' backs and getting into huge arguments over dumb stuff. So people stopped coming. We were at about ten people when 40 Days of Community started, and no one took anything seriously, just goofed off and yelled at each other and yelled at me and then some people who were there seeking God stopped coming. I couldn't blame them. Every night upon returning home I was pulling my hairs out. We ran down to about six, and those people told me, "It stinks now, man." And they stopped coming. We only had three people come last time, and so we didn't even have it.
I guess the "envy" I harbor is envy that with Mike Box's group, the gatherers are willing to talk, to take some stuff seriously, to really get involved in the topic and take it to their lives. Now, I know no one's going to want to spend two hours being reverent and humble while talking about God - because that's not how it's meant to be. I believe that true community is birthed in laughter and having fun, and I believe when we gather to worship God, laughter and having fun is a vital part. But it can be taken too far.
So now I have a failed Thursday gathering, closed out for the year, and am wondering what to do come January 2005? Keep going? Rebirth?
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3 comments:
Anthony,
Couple things jump out of your post at me.
- just because you didn't see big numbers doesn't mean it was a failure. don't get lost in the language of fail and success. it's not about numbers always, often what God has put into motion is bigger than what we can see. it's like standing too close to a painting. when youre too close, all you see is the detail of the brush strokes, it's not until we step back that we can see the entire picture. so don't worry and envy so much. God's Word will never come back void.
- take some time off...join a group and refuel, recharge, etc. leaders often need a sabbatical.
- finally, a lesson i constantly struggle with, expectation management. you are a type-a personality anthony, and type-a people like control. you have expectations for your group that are not being met. ask yourself this....you have a group of young adults, are you placing unusual expectations on them? are you managing those expectations as if you had a group of college aged 20 something's? just something to consider.
don't be discouraged. when i was at SW, Shannan and I tried to start a youth group back in 1998. after weeks of preparation, signs made, posters, flyers, planning, etc. we waited in the parking lot of Malachi's (now Chantrel's) for over an hour. Guess how many people showed up to go out to Marion's Pizza with us? ZERO. that's right NONE. we were discouraged, but we kept trying. the next planned event we had 3, then the next we had 6 and beore we knew it we had ourselves a small youth group. let go of the reigns a little more and turn more over to God bro... let Him lead the group.
It is all about group chemistry Anthony. 3rd Place is different, because many of us do not go to the same church. work in the same buildings, or even live in the same towns. 3rd Place is different in that aspect. 3rd Place is also not a "Bible Study." Sure I back up the discussion with some Bible, but for the most past it is a guided conversation. I am sure as we get further along, it will begin to have more and more Scripture on a regular basis, but for now, the group needs what it is getting. Don't get down, man. I have my ups and downs. And if I didn't have michelle to help me focus, i would lose my mind. I am not a born leader, i have to work at it. the best advice i can give you is: don't try to please everyone, please God.
Anthony
I just want you to know that I have seen God working through you and in you this past year I think you do need to refuel and refocus Grow in your relationships.. keep your eyes and heart open Just know you are not alone You have a big "church" family to help you Honestly you have a heart for God and that's what matters Find someone you trust who is willing and has the time to help mentor you
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