God really spoke through Roger’s message this past Sunday. For the first time ever I got to check out 1st service at Southwest Church (usually I’m twenty minutes late to 2nd service) because my family and I went to Frisch’s breakfast afterwards. So I’m sitting in there with my friends Dylan and Tyler, and Roger starts giving a message on marriage relationships. I’m not married (I hope to be one day!) but everything he said could apply to the other relationships in our lives, like our everyday, run-of-the-mill friendships.
I would be willing to bet that most of you who read this blog know that I am having some difficulties regarding some of my long-time friendships. I do not wish to infest a gossip party, but I will just say that there has been some lack of love and respect amongst a handful of my relationships, and to be honest, it’s been going on a long time and I am getting/have gotten sick and tired of it.
Yet Roger starts speaking, and he’s talking about loving and respecting our friends, and the bitter part of me is saying, “Yeah, look at where I am. Lots of love and respect floating around here.” But then he goes on to say that we, as Christians, are free to make a choice. We can either choose to be bitter about how others treat us, and we can likewise treat them with disrespect and adamant, unloving hostility, or we can imitate Jesus, and even if they don’t love and respect us, we love and respect them (note: this does not mean we let them treat us like crap; we may have to distance ourselves, and even break a relationship – but not in hostility, and not treating them like dirt). In fact, we are called as Christians to love them, and respect them, not based on whether they love and respect us, but because, as John writes in his letter 1 John, “Christ first loved us.”
Yesterday I felt God telling me, “Look: you don’t deserve to be treated like this. I know this. You know this. You can’t change how they treat you. They must make a decision to change. I cannot force them to treat you with the love and respect that real friendships include. But you must make a choice: either, in your anger at how they treat you (a righteous anger), you treat them likewise, with disrespect and without love; or you treat them as I have treated you, despite the many times you’ve treated me with disrespect and without love. How have I treated you, Anthony?” The answer is clear: he has loved me, shown me mercy and forgiveness, and has treated me with respect. “So you can either choose to treat them as they treat you, or you can treat them as I treat you – as a genuine disciple of mine would treat them. Really, the choice is yours.”
I would be willing to bet that most of you who read this blog know that I am having some difficulties regarding some of my long-time friendships. I do not wish to infest a gossip party, but I will just say that there has been some lack of love and respect amongst a handful of my relationships, and to be honest, it’s been going on a long time and I am getting/have gotten sick and tired of it.
Yet Roger starts speaking, and he’s talking about loving and respecting our friends, and the bitter part of me is saying, “Yeah, look at where I am. Lots of love and respect floating around here.” But then he goes on to say that we, as Christians, are free to make a choice. We can either choose to be bitter about how others treat us, and we can likewise treat them with disrespect and adamant, unloving hostility, or we can imitate Jesus, and even if they don’t love and respect us, we love and respect them (note: this does not mean we let them treat us like crap; we may have to distance ourselves, and even break a relationship – but not in hostility, and not treating them like dirt). In fact, we are called as Christians to love them, and respect them, not based on whether they love and respect us, but because, as John writes in his letter 1 John, “Christ first loved us.”
Yesterday I felt God telling me, “Look: you don’t deserve to be treated like this. I know this. You know this. You can’t change how they treat you. They must make a decision to change. I cannot force them to treat you with the love and respect that real friendships include. But you must make a choice: either, in your anger at how they treat you (a righteous anger), you treat them likewise, with disrespect and without love; or you treat them as I have treated you, despite the many times you’ve treated me with disrespect and without love. How have I treated you, Anthony?” The answer is clear: he has loved me, shown me mercy and forgiveness, and has treated me with respect. “So you can either choose to treat them as they treat you, or you can treat them as I treat you – as a genuine disciple of mine would treat them. Really, the choice is yours.”
2 comments:
Anth, I honestly know how you feel. Its incredibly hard to do things as Jesus would do. Sometimes I find myself doing what I want to do instead. But you gotta have faith that God's going to help you through it. Like roger said it really takes some patience.
Anthony
Friendships can be just as hard as marriage sometimes Both parties have to give love and respect or it's not a true friendship Your friendship sounds one-sided (You're giving and their taking )and maybe taking a break from it for awhile will help all of you put things in perspective It doesn't have to be in hostility like you said You deserve good friends Anthony You have a good heart I've been in your shoes it's not an easy decision I'll be praying for you
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