Monday, May 16, 2005

One of my greatest fears - definitely THE biggest fear - of going away to college is my fear of "What if I don't make any friends?" It's a universal fear. We're hardwired for relationships; the whole "made in God's image" thing all over again; the Trinity is relational to the core and so are we. There is no worse feeling than being surrounded by people - especially people your age - and yet being completely and totally alone. I reassure myself I will be fine; I have made lots of great friends: both Pats, Chris and Lee, Dylan and Tyler, Bryon; people I hang out with all the time and can easily share my stories and life and make dumb jokes with. Crucial people. I think I will be able to make more friends and keep the same I have now; after all, I'll only be thirty minutes away and I plan on coming home on the weekends. Yet I'm kind of frightened because I'm a scientifically-edged kid; I want there to be formulas for most of the stuff in life, and it's taken God to show me there are no such formulas to the most hardcore realities. So I can't just plug in the X's and Y's to friendship-making and roll out friends left and right. The last friend I made whom I really got pretty close to is Pat Hague; and I don't remember the specifics of how it happened. It just... did. And this scares me, because what if this mysterious thing called 'building friendships' finds itself lacking at college? I don't fear anything, really, except this, and I know I am not alone.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey man. I can at least assure you you're not going to lose your friends here. I will never forget you and I'll jump at the chance to crash in your dorm on the weekends or anything! You're one awesome guy and I'm glad things between us are getting to be somewhere we seem to both like. I'll see ya.

-pat d

Rochelle said...

Anthony
Being a born introvert I know how you feel You will make friends Almost everyone you go to school with will also have that same fear
Just be yourself Honestly, I found it easier to make friends in college

darker than silence said...

Pat, thanks - and I look forward to seeing ya today!!!

Rochelle, thanks for the encouragement. I am hoping you are right, but I've never known you to be deceitful :-)

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