Work went by quickly, due to the insane rushes followed by periods of dead time when we tasked our little hearts out. I made myself a venti soy latte and headed northeast under gray skies to Thanksgiving lunch with dad's side of the family. The lunch was at noon, and I got there around 3:00; Mom saved me some leftovers. My cousin Megan brought her two-year old girl, Cate, and she was adorable. She can walk now--more-so stumble than walk, but still--and we had a heckuva time playing with her. It makes me realize--or, rather, remember--how much I want to have kids someday. And by "someday" I mean later rather than sooner. The only person I've seriously wanted, in all sincerity and selflessness, to build a family with has built her own, and I'm totally okay with that. Celebrating it, even. My point is that I have pretty high standards when it comes to girls. I'm not obsessed about how a girl looks; it's her character, personality, etc. that really matter to me. And I can be pretty picky when it comes to that stuff. On most Thanksgivings I feel quite gloomy, remembering all the fruitless hopes and dreams, the broken promises, the shattered ambitions. But this Thanksgiving I enjoyed the laughter of a little girl and knew that, in all probability, one day I'll have my own, and she (or he) will be the world to me. So this Thanksgiving I celebrate and am future for the future. And even if my dream of being a husband and a father doesn't come to pass, that doesn't mean life is a waste. It's strange, but I now know that more than ever. Hopefully I can just keep that in the back of my mind. We are such foolish creatures. Here's a photograph taken today of my family and me:
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