The last 4-5 months have had their ups and downs. I lost another 25# and reached my freshman weight of 135#. I never thought I'd be able to pull it off, but thanks to hard work and determination, I did. I "dated" two girls, but none of it went anywhere. One was kinda crazy, the other just had different plans and goals in life, and thus we were incompatible. I have hope to find The Winner soon, the one whom I'll build a family with. "Soon, soon..." I am trying with diligence but finding all avenues closed or dead-ends. I still don't know what I want to do in life, but I'm eager to see what happens. This situation can't last forever. I believe one day I'll fall in love, get married, and have children, which is what I crave more than anything. Selfish? Of course. But at least this selfishness is coached in selflessness: I want to be a good husband and a good father, with all the sacrifice that involves. But until then I'll just roll with the punches. Each new journal is, in the words of Natasha Bedingfield, "where your book begins." I haven't heard "Unwritten" in a long time, but on my way home from work, the words just struck me, unusually so, as a new journal--which will probably span many more months--begins.
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reach for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins...
It's not a "guilty pleasure" song, because I don't regularly or even willfully listen to it. But I'm forced to listen to the radio in my car when it's cold, because my CD player doesn't work when the weather drops below forty. Regardless, a new book is beginning, and I don't really have any "ambitions" except to (a) maintain my 135# while building muscle, (b) enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas with tons of family and friends, and (c) figure out which next step to take in my journey. I would throw in (d) (move to Cincinnati) but that looks unlikely unless I catch a break. Oh, and speaking of Inhibitions (see N. Bedingfield), this Great Lakes Christmas Ale is quite nice and I've had three and I think they may be getting to me...
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