the dayton days [41]

one of my infamous butt texts to Blake

Monday. I met Mandy at 10:30 for sushi from her work: Soho Sushi, located in Carew Tower downtown. I had a california roll and a spicy tuna roll with edamame. I visited Rob down the street at Tazza Mia. "Apply here," he said. I might. I hung out with Cory & Blake at the Claypole House and perused Newport on the Levee before meeting up with Mikaela at the Mariemont Starbucks. It was good catching up: school, relationships, stoicism. We parted ways--"Keep in touch!"--and I hung out with Ams, Blake, Amos & Tony before heading back to Dayton. I'm going to apply at Tazza Mia. Rob said I could maybe get on full time at the Carew Tower location. It'd get me back in Cincinnati. 

Tuesday. I went and voted because Mom said I had to or she might lose her job. Dylan came over, and we smoked pipes and played Wii and had chicken and potatoes for dinner. He has a Peace Corps interview on Monday. I rejoined Plenty of Fish and OKCupid. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a great girl. But probably not. Tomorrow's my last day of vacation, but I'm ready to go back to work. 

Wednesday. I spent the day watching TV and running errands. Sushi for dinner. Mom had her small group. Not a thrilling day, but a good end to vacation. Wisconsin may not have happened, but it's been good nonetheless.

Thursday. Tony B. at work has been promoted to a shift. I worked there months before him. Jessica came on after me, was all but immediately promoted. Had I been promoted, I could've gotten my own place. Obviously there's frustration: I've consistently gotten great reviews, am one of the strongest baristas, am well-liked, albeit not well-liked enough. Promotion is, as is generally the case, about who's the most popular. Faith & Jessica were like pals right off the bat. Tony's beloved by all, very outgoing. I'm not frustrated with Tony or Jessica, more-so with how promotions are orchestrated. I'm introverted, and that's my downfall. Anyways, to the point: I've been letting this consume me, anger me, depress me, and God just said, "STOP." I'd like to think he has his own reasons for keeping me out of the loop, but I'm a cynic and won't go there. The Spirit convicted me of allowing my mind to continue operating in lieu of "this present age," where one's rank, income, and employment determines worth. My focus shouldn't be on "how to get ahead" but "how to be who I am created to be"--namely, a flourishing human being who's advancing God's kingdom (the two go together). It's like Paul says in Colossians 3: don't focus on the present age but on the age to come, the age that has broken into the present. My focus shouldn't be MY kingdom and MY desires and MY dreams but God's kingdom, his desires, his dream. The goal here isn't to "get ahead" but to "get complete," becoming a fully-flourishing human being, and becoming this through suffering, diligence, and patience. My mind, as St. Paul says in Romans 12.1-2, needs to be renewed.

Friday. Mom & I got steak dinners at Lone Star Steakhouse. Dad's out of town for a race. We made a pit-stop by Starbucks on the way home, and she got herself a green tea latte (she's obsessed with them). Rob called me, told me to send my resume to Bob, the owner of Tazza Mia, right away, so I did. Fingers crossed. I'd love to move back to Cincinnati and be with everyone again.

Saturday. I opened with J.J., the shift starting out slow, but then we were slammed. Dewenter came over, and we got lunch at the Sushi Cafe by the Mall and went to DLM for some Chimay beer and drank it at the house while playing Mario-Kart. He left and I read for a while with a beer by the fireplace. So cold outside! Mom made potato soup and I fixed a grilled cheese and we watched "Zombieland." 

Sunday. I grabbed an iced soy chai from work before going to Southwest. Church was great, but I miss the days when I taught; maybe I can shoot for youth ministry? I miss those innocent days, when I was so hopeful. I was going to get married, work at a church, build a family. I'd get close, and then it'd slip through my fingers. If not for fucking things up with Courtney, we'd probably be married with a baby by now. Damn it. I went by Dewenter's after church. His dad's selling a car, a 1992 Toyota Celica, and I might buy it. Only $1000. Dewenter came over to my place for some Wii and beer. Aunt Teri & Grandma are here tonight; great aunt Ethel's in the hospital again. Mandy told me that Bob from Tazza Mia asked Rob about me, and Rob said, "You should hire him." Maebe's scared shitless by Tanner.