Megan and I were talking in the coffee shop, and she told me, "You need to realize that you are complete without a girl before you get a girl. Maybe GOD hasn't answered your prayers for a girl because you would give her His place, seeking completion in her?" At night, I wrote in my journal:

Why have I been looking for completion in girls? How can I be so stupid? Completion is found only in GOD and GOD alone. Only He can complete; a girl would supplement very beautifully, yes, but true completion is found only in GOD! GOD is loving, and He eagerly desires communion with me, so why in the world would He grant me a girl if I were giving her the position He deserves? I'm an idiot, I really am. I don't need a girl. One would be nice--very nice!--but she is not necessary. She is a gift, not like water or air--needed gifts--but like delicate foods, warm spring days, and escape from the storms of life. Not a necessary gift, not at all.

I pray that I may find completion in GOD and GOD alone--not really find it, I guess, but, rather, realize that I've been complete all along! May this felt realization draw me closer to the King, closer to the sweet meadows of communion, closer to the intimate dance between the divine and mortal. I know that joy, praise, peace, hope, and thanksgiving flow out of a life of intimacy with GOD: may I seek intimacy with GOD more than I seek intimacy with any other thing or human being (especially girls).