Yesterday evening I went to Mt. Echo for some time of prayer and meditation. I met a young man from the Price Hill area, and so I sat down on a picnic bench and we talked. He threw back some beer and lit up a cigarette, and our conversation ultimately turned to women. He is a man who has been hurt by women over and over; right now, his aching heart has been drawn into the arms of multiple women. He told me over and over, "There are no good women in the world, they're all wicked. Every one of them is wicked." I gracefully objected, telling him, "There are lots of bad women out there, but there are lots of good ones, too. Not all men are good, either; there are lots of bad men, too." I don't know if my words helped any; the man had just discovered that his wife was cheating on him, and this led him to cheat on her, and he just needed someone to listen to him and show genuine care.

We talked about the cold realities of life as well. Life has thrown him some bitter cards, and he said, "When life's crap hits the roof, there are three ways we respond: we either fight through it, we deal with it, or we escape." He talked about how he desperately wants to save up money, leap into his car, and drive to the tropics to be a beach bum. I agreed with him: sometimes the idea of escape sounds wonderful! He was a wise man in many accounts; he told me, "You're young, you're filled with dreams, and that's great, but life isn't like that. Life is hard. Life sucks. Life doesn't play according to your dreams." Sometimes I think that's the way it works, though I know that the truth is that our dreams serve more as echoes of our destinies than they do our futures in this lifetime.

I don't know what the future holds for me, and I wish I could decide exactly how my life would plan out, but the truth is, I don't have a clue what will happen. Everything is up in the air. All my plans are for naught--life will come at me as it will. In a sense, this is liberating: I'm free to breathe instead of doing everything I can to ensure the future I want. At the same time, it raises lots of questions with theological undertones: "How does fate play into my life, if at all? How does free will play into my life, if at all? And if free will is totally free, what does this mean regarding my future?" I've always been one of a philosophical mindset, and tonight these questions haunt me.

Hmmm, my future. Maybe it's more up to me than I think?