Marc Estes wrote a book called “…What Now: Making Sense of Who You Are and Where You’re Going.” In the first chapter, he gives several different influences that help mold who we are:

Culture influences “who we are.” He writes, “The culture you are immersed in shapes your life.” He lists several different aspects of culture (educational, entertainment, the media, political, and social aspects) that help shape who we are. In the Western World, all of these help shape who Anthony Barnhart is. He goes on, “You don’t have to go very far to see how each of these areas has influenced your thoughts, taken some of your time, and even drained your wallet. In some cases they have even become more prominent than God Himself.” I remember a day when I let my education become more important than God. The realization of those modern-day idolatry came to me one morning when I was sitting out on the porch drinking a cup of coffee. Since then, I’ve come long leaps and bounds to rediscovering myself in the primary importance of God.

Relationships influences “who we are.” These relationships can mold us in positive or negative ways. The scriptures warn us to keep from close company with those who do not care about God, for their lifestyles, attitudes, and perspectives will rub off onto us. Likewise, being close friends with people who really do care about God helps to strengthen us, encourage us, and sharpen us in our journey with God. Relationships can influence us in other ways, too. Good relationships—relationships that have worked out how we wanted them to work out—can bring good out of us, but bad relationships—in this case, relationships that have not worked out how we wanted them to work out—can turn us bitter, cold, resentful, and can lead to resignation. My relationship with Julie did not work out how I wanted it to work out, and I had to wrestle through bitterness and resent, but thankfully God helped transform me.

Our own flesh influences “who we are.” In the scriptures, our “flesh” does not necessarily refer to our blood-and-bones. A lot of the times it refers to the sinful, selfish, animal nature within us. A nature that is selfish, greedy, overly self-indulgent, and indifferent to others and God. The scriptures tell us that this sinful nature is within every one of us. As Christians, we are called to subdue this sinful nature and eradicate its manifestations in our life. The author writes, “Our flesh is an intense and compelling force, and we would serve ourselves well to acknowledge its influence on our lives and make every attempt to minimize its impact.” Simply turning our heads does not work; we must make a conscious effort to subdue the sinful nature, with God helping us the entire way. If we let our sinful nature go unchecked, its influence is huge: we become more and more selfish, more and more greedy, more and more indifferent. We become bitter, angry, and insensitive people. We become a disgrace to anything stamped with the name of God. And this nature within us corrupts not only us but everything we touch. It will destroy relationships. “Whether we like it or not, we were born with a relentless sinful nature that will pester us until we reach the grave. No matter how much we pray or fast, the sinful nature seems to rear its ugly head in the most peculiar ways… The apostle Paul [challenges us]: ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is true worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ (Rom 12.1-2, TNIV).”

The Enemy influences “who we are.” “Your soul’s enemy is bent on distracting you from ever amounting to anything. He works overtime, enticing you to build for yourself a kingdom of material wealth, rather than a legacy of purpose. He develops strategies that entice you to pursue distorted dreams of fulfillment through careers, hobbies, and even relationships. He devises ways to lure you to the pleasures of this world for self-gratification. In the end, life becomes merely what happens to people between the cradle and the grave, rather than a resource they determine to make life count for eternity.” It is God’s desire that we live an “abundant life,” a life that is lived to its fullest extent, a life lived in the greatness and beauty and joy of the kingdom of God. He wants us to make our lives count. Yet Jesus acknowledged in John 10.10 that there is an Enemy—Satan—who wants the exact opposite, and he will do everything he can to keep us from this “abundant life.”

God and His kingdom influences “who we are.” “It is God and His kingdom that should be the shaping influence of our lives. Unfortunately, few allow this to happen.” I myself am one of those few who is hesitant to allow this to happen (forgive me for speaking in complete honesty). How does God want Himself and His kingdom to influence us, exactly? “It is in Him that we have everything we need to live life. His Word tells us how we should think and act. His Spirit guides us, encourages us, and even assists us to see life through an eternal filter. And church guides us toward spiritual health, growth, and maturity.” Sadly, many of us allow the influences of culture, relationships, our sinful nature, and the Enemy to guide, direct, and bring shallow meaning (or meaninglessness!) to our lives. Estes says, “It would be an ominous mistake for us to underestimate the weight and influence of God and His kingdom in our lives.”

At the end of the chapter, Estes asks the reader to contemplate several questions:

“What’s my purpose in life?”
“What dreams do I have for my life?”
“What am I doing now to reach my goal?”
“What really excites me?”
“Where do I spend my time?”
“Where do I spend my money? What do I like to give to?”
“Am I really living life on purpose, or merely letting life happen to me?”

These are questions I am pondering, meditating upon, and searching out.