Today I meditated on the scriptures that say “The plans of the Lord cannot be thwarted” and “The plans of the Lord always prosper.” Lately I’ve been wrestling with many questions regarding many aspects of my life, specifically regarding different paths to take with my life. Being in a bible college surrounded by people in relationships, couples engaged, and engaged couples getting married. Looking into the chaotic cesspool of these relationships, I always wonder where I fit in. “When are things going to look up for me?” I wonder. “When will I meet that ‘special someone’?” Then, “What if I do meet her, and then I somehow screw up in the relationship and the relationship ends?” Or, “What if I do meet her, but I don’t date her, so I mess up entirely?” And, “What if I end up with the person God does not want me to be with?” I know, however, that God has a plan for my life. He has a special somebody for me. I don't know, exactly, how I'll come to be with her. If the person He wants for me is Julie, then I'll end up with Julie. If the person He wants me with is Jessica, then I'll end up with Jessica. If the person He wants me with is someone else, then I'll end up with them. I must follow the convictions the Spirit places on my heart, let God direct my life, and just have fun while serving Him and advancing His kingdom.

I do not believe God ordains every aspect of our lives. I am not sure if He has a “special somebody” for everybody. Yet I look in the scriptures and see that many peoples’ wives were chosen by God (i.e. Isaac and Rebekkah, Hosea and Gomer), so the idea of God having a “special someone” for somebody isn’t entirely out-of-the-question. I will never forget when God “told me” (in a way I cannot adequately describe; ask me about it sometime) that He had someone special and someone specific for me to meet, befriend, date, and marry. His words to me were, I believe, thus:

“I have given you these desires [to be a good husband and good father], and I have given you these desires for a reason. There is a girl, one of My children, who is hurting and aching. She desires true love and fears she will never find it in this world of twisted, abusive love. I have chosen you to be Me to her—to love her with a selfless, serving, and sacrificial love. I have a beautiful plan for you and for her. She will bring comfort and completion to your heart, and you will deliver comfort and completion to hers.”

When I heard these words, I was—and still am!—mind-blown. Yet sometimes, as my life progresses, I begin to wonder if I was just high on sugar or something. Yet when the doubting begins, much as Abraham doubted that God would bring him a son, God always returns me to those words. In the kaleidoscopic history of relationships forming, evolving, and dying, God is often at work. He is bringing His plans to pass and—along the way—teaching us and transforming us. In the heartaches and heartbreaks, I am being molded into the person God wants me to be when I get into a relationship with this girl.

My role to play is not God’s. No, it is my job to love, serve, and worship Him. It is my job to let Him transform me—despite how painful that transformation might be—into the person whom He wants me to be. It is my job to ride the waves, live my life, and let God work a marvelous work in me and in my life. I may never understand why things happen as they do, but I cling to the promises God speaks through the scriptures: “I love you. I like you. I cherish you. I forgive you. I want what is best for you. I want you to be happy. Trust Me—even though you do not understand, I really do know what I am doing.”