Let me tell you why I hate church politics. I have been caught up in the middle of church conflict, and I have resigned from the church in hope that I would escape the church politics (amongst other reasons for resigning), but, no, the politics still surround me. So let me simply express why I hate church politics so much.
First, church politics are most often based on personal biases/offences. No one always has the full story, yet everyone who “owns” a story ignorantly believes theirs to be the absolute truth. There are usually two sides in the great conflict of church politics, and extremists find themselves on either side, parading themselves as the holy servants of God bringing order to a church in chaos. However, from my experiences, the “truth” usually lies somewhere in the middle. Our own biases and prejudices, our own feelings and insecurities and upbringings, all of this plays into where we stand on issues of church conflict. Our relations with those involved also play a huge role: “I don’t like this person” usually lies at the foundation of church politics, I believe, though this innocent dislike (for we cannot like everyone!) masks itself behind veils of politics. On either side, these rumors lead the way, and certain events or words said are taken out-of-context and blown up to an insane proportion. I honestly believe that most church politics stem from personal bias, personal dislike for those involved, and a personal outlook on how things should be done. A person in the middle of a conflict, in the sense of being on an extreme side, often sees his or her solution or his or her opinions as the only route to take for the health of a church. And it is this innocent disagreement that stems an avalanche of shouting-matches, back-stabbing, and gossiping that corrode the innards of a church and corrode those involved as well.
Second, these personal biases/offences are viewed as church-wide problems. When a person or a group of people get together sharing the same opinions and holding the same biases, a lot of times these personal biases/offences with the way things are done or how a certain person or group of people handle operations within the church are viewed by the “rebels” as the solution to making the church “healthier, happier, and whole.” The church begins to look like a train-wreck through the lens of bias and personal offences, and it is ignorantly assumed that because they themselves are not happy, then the rest of the church as a whole is not happy, either! However, if you ask the normal churchgoer how they enjoy the church where they attend, they will tell you, “I enjoy it here,” maybe even for a variety of reasons that the group of “rebels” may see as problems that need to be solved!
Third, church conflict has a tendency to destroy people. Church conflict can easily destroy entire individual lives, marriages, and families. In the church conflict that I am bathing in, I have been saddened by the affect the conflict has had on those involved. Personal attacks have been made upon the families of those involved, and one person even commented, “I don’t even care if this destroys the family [of a certain person involved].” This breaks my heart! Church conflict can destroy relationships, and it can also turn those involved into people quite unlike Christ. I have seen people claiming to be fighting for the good of the gospel sink their teeth into people’s neck, maliciously spread false rumors, slander those involved behind their backs, and even go so far as to publicly derail people as liars and hypocrites. How unlike Christ! It really saddens me how this happens. People become angry, mean, bitter, resentful, and self-centered. I believe that it makes God weep. This right here is the number one reason why I despise church conflict so much. I want to see people growing in their faith and becoming closer to God, not letting issues in the management of a church turn them into creatures unworthy of the name “Christian.”
5 comments:
I'm with ya man. It can get pretty ugly sometimes. The key is to not become self-righteous, and to attempt to listen to the other side. Do not assume that you have the right answer. If you do that, then you assume that everyone else is wrong. That is no way to build a kingdom.
There are always 2 sides to every story, and do I know that well. Politics in the church have become like 'airing our dirty laundry' to the world. It is ashame, and it lends NO credibility to the original church as a whole. Yet I do believe that God sometimes uses a 'cleansing process' to occur in churches when things are not right. In a lot of my personal time in prayer and study lately, God has repeatedly shown me examples of idolatry and the spirit of impurity. Do I believe that He is showing me the present? Yes. We don't always know why He does the things He does at the hand of hurt and pain. All we know is that through it, it brings forth rebirth and spiritual growth in both camps.
And yes it also leaves 'disillusionment' for new Christians but my faith in God also leads me to know that God will continue to call His own back to Him maybe somewhere else. God loves these people way more than you, I or anyone ever will.
Also, in my experiences, often times God allows a person's mind to become so seared, especially when in leadership b/c of being called to a higher level of accountablitiy, that they believe THEIR way is the only way and it becomes sin. He has to break them eventually. Usually it is spiritual pride or as Mike said self righteousness. Who then holds those people accountable? In most cases, no one. Therefore, false teachers, regardless of whether they are on stage or not (us), gain ground in the name of 'religion/God'. A lot of it comes down to how much power they have over people, not meeting people where they are, like Jesus did.
Anthony, when you have been in the same situations before you begin to learn how to deal with situations differently. You have to keep asking God for answers to questions in regards to what to do. No one has all the answers and no one is more 'spiritual' than another. We are all growing just at different speeds. Through this we begin to share our experiences with one another. Sometimes I think we hold our leadership too high that we begin to believe they are the only one's with all the answers. The truth is that each one of us has the gift of the HS living in us to discern what God wants but it is up to us to confess and repent daily before Him in order that His Spirit is not quenched in order to hear His answer. Listen for His voice in the quiet.
When people are attacked, whether feelings or personal, you get hurt. There is wrong on both sides, period. But speaking from a minister's kid point of view, the realmifications of living in that glass house and experiencing the things I have, have been detrimental in knowing who I am now and the very position that I am in right now. The one thing that most people in leadership need to remember is that it's not just about that one person who's making the decisions, it's about a whole family that pays the price, regardless of which 'side' you're on. It will not be seen now but maybe 20 years from now it will have a major impact on the family. If people would only think about the whole and not just themselves and their glory, the world would be a much better place. But that's Utopia!
I've written a book so I'll stop :0). Sorry. Just thought I needed to 'air' out my feelings and points of view that I've experienced.
I wholeheartedly agree. In Paul's epistles, he goes out of his way to tell Christians to avoid ANYTHING that could cause division or strife. And what is more interesting to me is that he never makes a distinction between whether we are right or wrong. His clear call is to avoid division/strive and avoid being a stumbling block.
I have held to one rule in my life both as a professional minister (years ago) and today: I am never bigger than the local body. Never. Never. I absolutely will not condone nor participate in anything that could possibly cause others to stumble even if I believe I am right.
AMEN ffej
Why is anonymous, always anonymous? What's to hide? If you write it, own it.
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