the dayton days [62]

Carly & I at The Anchor

Monday. I worked 5:30-2:00, packed two sandwiches for lunch, one for me and one for Carly (she's gonna make us PB&J later this week). After work I spent the afternoon writing: so close to being done with "Reframing Repentance"! Leah has been acting super weird towards me. Carly's become the focus of her attention, always asking her about me and making weird comments. "She has a lot of girly emotions," Carly said. "Well," I replied, "she is only 19." Carly and I have been getting closer, and she's not shy about it. Today, for instance, she broadcasted that if she didn't marry Devyn, then she'd marry me, "But only because I love you so much." Others at work are getting jealous: Asenath and Kyle feel left out. But Asenath's a gossip mill, and Kyle... Well, Kyle's Kyle. 

Tuesday. Dad & I grabbed dinner at Panera, and he asked me if I've been considering Grad School. I have been, but I'm not sure what route to take. Right now I've been looking into Seminary through Liberty University. I talked to Jessica a bit on the phone, she's back from D.C. where she made some not-so-good decisions with a Navy sailor. She claims it was a one time thing, and I can't say I haven't had those. Good thing I'm persistent about disengaging my feelings for her. 

Wednesday. I worked 7:30-3:30. Jessica seemed in a bad mood. Carly had her first solo open. I went down to Cincinnati with Carly: we hit up The Anchor with her & Devyn, Alison, and their friend Tony. So much laughter, coffee, and cigarettes. At The Anchor Carly told me that months ago Jessica said she didn't think she could ever be attracted to me because I touched dead animals when I was a kid. Her OCD. Damn it. After our time at The Anchor, Carly left with Devyn and I headed over to the Claypole House to hang out with Mandy & Ams, and I spent the night at Ams' apartment.

Thursday. Carly, Devyn, Alison and I got lunch at The Spicy Pickle. I had their Athena Pizza. We got bubble tea and I brought some to Mandy at the Claypole House. I dropped Mandy off at work and went to Devyn's place, and we went to Taza cafe in Clifton. They went to a show--Devyn's band, The Kickaways--so I went back to the Claypole House to hang out with Blake, Amos, and Ams.

Friday. Pancakes, eggs, and breakfast for brunch. I worked out and ran off to work 12-7:00 with Carly and Leah. Yikes combination. Wasn't bad, though. Leah's much less awkward about it now. Carly's house-sitting till the ninth, and we're going to have a dinner party next week. After work Dad & I went to Max & Erma's for dinner. "What am I to do regarding Jessica?" I can't seem to figure that out. There's Route 1: BACK OFF. Continue to crucify all desires for her. Force myself away from such ridiculous and romantic thoughts. Employ logic to dispel the whispering fantasies. Or I could DO NOTHING: just let the cards fall where they will; employ the jellyfish tactic (spineless) coupled with bitter & futile hopes. I could blatantly PURSUE: be honest, be open, tell her what's up, ask her out, and employ the tactic of burning bridges and losing the friendship. Or I could DROP HINTS: a mesh of 2 & 3, essentially pursuit, but a more subtle type; make her wonder if I like her and gauge future actions in this light. Fuck. I hate this.

Saturday. I spent the day down in Cincinnati after my 7-3:30 shift. The Claypole House was crowded: Tony had a lot of people over. Mandy foolishly joined a drinking game. She got sick and passed out. I waited around to see Ams and then went back home. Noteworthy: Jessica was very friendly and talkative today, more-so than usual. No, I'm not reading anything into it. To do so would be foolish: I am quite confident that she's not even remotely into me. We're just friends, and, yes, that's cool. Besides, I don't like Jessica "more than a friend." I'm just attracted to her physically, and she has a great personality. So I'm attracted to her. And I'm perfectly happy being friends and friends alone. But I do suspect we'd do good dating, that we'd click pretty well.

Sunday. Ams came up last night, restless and needing to escape the city. Dylan, Tyler, and Dewenter came over. We played Wii and went to The K here in town. I had a banana split. We walked around Olde Maine for a while. Everyone headed out and Ams went back to Cincy, but not before going through the 'Bux with Sky to get her a puppy whip. "She's like a crack fiend with that shit!" Here's an amazing picture I took at The K: