So have I been depressed lately? Mom worries that I have been. I'll be honest: sometimes it is still a struggle. There are dark hours of the soul during each week, but they help me enjoy the moments when my brain isn't speaking depression and depression alone. If I had to rate my life from a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, I'd definitely go the eight. My relationship with God is booming, my friendships here are exploding, I have a really easy week this week in two of my classes, and even though I have two grueling exams, they are the last midterms. In some ways, life could be better, but I know that there will never be a time when life is 100% perfect (at least not soon, anyways). In the good times I praise God, and in the bad times I grit my teeth and praise God. But I love God. I really do. I love Him no matter how my life is going, and I'm thankful that He has granted me the privilige of entering into His Kingdom.
God has given me romantic desires. Brian, Forest and I were sitting at Applebee's and they talked about how much they weren't into romance, but I spoke up and said, "I'm 100% hardcore romantic." And they both laughed and said, "Yep." It's how God has made me. It's how He's wired my soul. And I can't believe that He would implant such desires inside me and then leave me no avenue of fulfillment. It's just not His nature.
I know there's a girl out there for me. Will I meet her next week? Next month? Next year? Or even after college? I don't know. But I know she exists, and so there is a flame of hope. I hope it is next week. And if not next week, then next month. And if not next month, then next year. Because of the way He has designed me, to be without romance is almost like starvation or dehydration. It kills me. It slaughters my emotions. Am I unspiritual for this? I don't think so. I believe romance is an insanely spiritual act of worship.
God has told me, "Hold on. Wait. I'm coming to rescue you." He said the same thing to me when I was wrestling with having scarce friends here. I held on. I waited. And now I bathe in friends and we go out on the town every night and have long discussions about life. We play video-games and watch movies, we sit on the hill together and relax in the coffee-shop. I trust God. I know He won't leave me abandoned, a fish flopping out-of-water, suffocating with the rip tide of the times.
God has given me romantic desires. Brian, Forest and I were sitting at Applebee's and they talked about how much they weren't into romance, but I spoke up and said, "I'm 100% hardcore romantic." And they both laughed and said, "Yep." It's how God has made me. It's how He's wired my soul. And I can't believe that He would implant such desires inside me and then leave me no avenue of fulfillment. It's just not His nature.
I know there's a girl out there for me. Will I meet her next week? Next month? Next year? Or even after college? I don't know. But I know she exists, and so there is a flame of hope. I hope it is next week. And if not next week, then next month. And if not next month, then next year. Because of the way He has designed me, to be without romance is almost like starvation or dehydration. It kills me. It slaughters my emotions. Am I unspiritual for this? I don't think so. I believe romance is an insanely spiritual act of worship.
God has told me, "Hold on. Wait. I'm coming to rescue you." He said the same thing to me when I was wrestling with having scarce friends here. I held on. I waited. And now I bathe in friends and we go out on the town every night and have long discussions about life. We play video-games and watch movies, we sit on the hill together and relax in the coffee-shop. I trust God. I know He won't leave me abandoned, a fish flopping out-of-water, suffocating with the rip tide of the times.
1 comment:
Good post anthony. =)
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