As I sat at Starbucks several nights ago, sipping chai tea, Bona encouraged me to read a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I actually owned the book, but I had never cracked the cover. Instead, I slid it into my closet and never touched it, innately afraid to do so! I was afraid that the book would convince me that there is no value in dating, that God would throw a girl into my lap, which I don't believe at all. However, since it is spring break and I don't have much to do, I decided to start reading it. I've just finished Part One.

I actually like the book! Why? Because it is raw, honest, and practical. I've read many books that tell us when we give dating "over to God," life makes sense and there's no suffering. The author is realistic: "God made us for intimacy between man and woman, and a lot of times--most of the time, really--it's painful not to have that intimacy." The author isn't advocating giving up dating, either; he is just building a case for a different "kind" of dating. He isn't saying, "Give up on dating!" He's saying, "Accept your singleness as a gift from God, and do not pursue romantic relationships until you are ready for commitment." He adds, "And when you do date, make sure you date in a way that is honoring to God, not just a plethora of physical and sensual pleasure."

The book has been bringing many things into focus, things I continue to chew on:

Although we are made for romantic intimacy, we are not incomplete without it.

We must re:discover what biblical love is and see how it conflicts and contrasts with our American culture's brand of love.

Singleness is an amazing gift from God, giving us much more room for service and abandon to Him.

We must be careful about pursuing romance without commitment--biblical romance is interwoven with commitment.