Music has been bringing memories rushing to me: Behind Blue Eyes makes me remember when I picked up Christ from the Junior High on his last day of school after finishing eighth grade; now he has a beard that makes him look like Osama bin Laden and he is touring with a band all over the place. Linkin Park makes me remember the days when I would sit up in my room, dinosaur books sprawled all around me, dreaming of being a paleontologist one day; now I have shelved my dinosaur books and dedicated myself to advancing the kingdom of God. La Grange reminds me out the days when Dylan and I would roll around town in his slender Mustang (he wishes); now we hardly see each other, since he is in Tennessee training to become a missionary and I am caught up in studies in the 'Nati. When I close my eyes, Sweet Home Alabama brings back the day when Brian, Alex, Caleb, Megan, Becky, Cassie and I drove down to the Ohio River and walked along the parkway, laughing and goofing off and just enjoying the days before the semester began.
The scriptures tell us that Yahweh rejoices over us with His own songs. I wonder, when those songs are played in His temple courts, what memories does He have of me? I imagine He remembers our mountaintop experiences: when we connected in deep intimacy, wrapped around each other, feeling the closeness; the times when it felt as if he were closer than my own skin. I imagine He remembers our valley experiences: when I knew suffering, grief, and pain, when I cried out to Him with tears, lamenting in the shadows; He was always there, quieting me with His love. Yet I know that what He does not remember is all the times I have rebelled against Him, when I have turned my face from Him, when I have gone astray. He has forgotten these (numerous) times, and now He smiles over me with joy and singing.
I have dreamt (very humble dreams) about "her" every night I've been on break: I want to forget the girl! Yet I know that I do not deserve the girl; the truth is, I do not deserve the gifts Yahweh has given me, I do not deserve the gifts Yahweh has in store for me. Yahweh's hesed [loving-kindness] and charis [grace], given to those who do not deserve them, are to be celebrated. Yahweh is to be worshipped; for what have I done, who have I been, who am I that He should even look upon me? Yet He calls me His own, and He gives me a future and a hope! "Blessed be the name of Yahweh!"
The scriptures tell us that Yahweh rejoices over us with His own songs. I wonder, when those songs are played in His temple courts, what memories does He have of me? I imagine He remembers our mountaintop experiences: when we connected in deep intimacy, wrapped around each other, feeling the closeness; the times when it felt as if he were closer than my own skin. I imagine He remembers our valley experiences: when I knew suffering, grief, and pain, when I cried out to Him with tears, lamenting in the shadows; He was always there, quieting me with His love. Yet I know that what He does not remember is all the times I have rebelled against Him, when I have turned my face from Him, when I have gone astray. He has forgotten these (numerous) times, and now He smiles over me with joy and singing.
I have dreamt (very humble dreams) about "her" every night I've been on break: I want to forget the girl! Yet I know that I do not deserve the girl; the truth is, I do not deserve the gifts Yahweh has given me, I do not deserve the gifts Yahweh has in store for me. Yahweh's hesed [loving-kindness] and charis [grace], given to those who do not deserve them, are to be celebrated. Yahweh is to be worshipped; for what have I done, who have I been, who am I that He should even look upon me? Yet He calls me His own, and He gives me a future and a hope! "Blessed be the name of Yahweh!"
2 comments:
I love it Anth. Sometimes when im outside exploring on a high hill or walking around in the parks, is when I feel the love of God the most often. I dont deserve it, but He chooses to love us despite it all.
Yeah, we're pretty close :)
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