I love autumn. I really do. It's beautiful. But for some reason, it carries with itself an odd sense of sadness. Maybe it is the way that the beauty is but a precursor to when death will wrap itself about the world. I don't know. At work today I was hit with a wave of sadness. Dead-end job. Dying car. Fruitless life. A life characterized by broken dreams and overwhelming disappointments. It's not what I expected. And now I'm more cynical--albeit wiser--than I was. This world sucks. It's a shadow of what's coming. I want the future to be NOW. I want Jesus to appear, to finish what he started. There's no solid hope in this life. There's no genuine happiness, only echoes of it; and I'm craving the real thing.
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books read: 2024
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