30 Days (XIV)

A Picture of Someone You Could Never Live Without

My little sister Amanda. 
She's my best friend.
We tell each other everything.
She supports me, and I support her.
We laugh together, mourn together, celebrate together, hurt together.
My best days of the week are those when I get to see her, even if but for a moment.
Life without her? Impossible.

the dayton days [56]

Chowing Down at Kabuki

Monday. I worked a long-ass 12-9:30 shift, and after work I had a cup of calming tea and read "Suttree". During my shift Leah had a work meeting, and I saw her face-to-face for a few minutes. She was so cute, I wanted to kiss her so badly. "You were mighty cute, too, Buddy!" she said.

Tuesday. I worked 6-2:00 and then had a store meeting at Oakwood. Cars and I rode together, stopping by the Dorothy Lane Market in that neck of the woods to get snacks and sodas. The meeting was all about the new logo--launching March 8, my birthday--and some new products we're rolling out. Afterwards Carly, Jessica, Abby, Kyle and I went to Kabuki for some sushi. It was so good, and so great hanging out with everyone. Carly's becoming a shift, said, "I'll have to choose my friends carefully." Both she and Jess said I'm the one non-shift friend they'll hang out with on a regular basis. Kyle's trying to wiggle his way in, but they're not having it: he's tried to hook up with both of them AND both of their roommates, not to mention most girls at the store, including my girl. Yeah, it's territorial. "I would never ride in a car with him alone," Cars said. Leah and I are doing dinner with her parents Thursday.

Wednesday. I worked 6-11:00 and did my PDP with Carly till noon. I won a coin toss against Tony and got to go home early. I did laundry, cleaned my room, did some writing. Dylan, Tyler, and Pat D. came over for dinner, Wii, and a Starbucks run. Leah's been getting mad at me for no good reason. She's under a lot of stress, though: school, work, having to take care of Sammy 'cause he's sick with leukemia. Also, she's used to guys just using her, and so one misplaced touch or ill-spoken word triggers those memories and she begins questioning my intentions. So I must be damn good at showing her I'm not like all the rest. Apparently I failed to do that with Courtney.

Thursday. I worked 5:30-10:00 and went over to Leah's. We hit up the Mall and made dinner for her family: grilled chicken, potatoes, salad, and cheesecake shooters. The rest of the evening was spent helping her with homework. Now I'm in bed and it's flooding and the temp's dropping and they say there'll be snow in the morning. DAMN IT.

Friday. The rain did indeed turn to snow and my car was caked in ice this morning. I did a donut pulling into the work parking lot, and not on purpose. I spent the evening writing and went to 1/2 Price for some Hemingway. Leah met up with me for a bit and her friend Michelle came by. I was abandoned and once her friend left she went home. I was pissed. We hardly ever see each other. When we do, it's at my fucking borderline groveling. I feel like I'm the one putting all my weight into the relationship. And I don't know if I can trust her. One slipped word hints that she DID mess around with Kyle, but that she's trying to keep it secret. I'm tired of the games, her insecurities, but I'm also depressed, so I'm not thinking clearly. But she DID suggest that we not see each other for a couple weeks. WTF? You don't say that to someone you genuinely care about. All I know is that I'm glad to be home and was glad to leave 1/2 Price, with or without her.

Saturday. Dylan came over and we went down to Cincinnati: Rock Bottom for dinner, hanging out in Blake's room. I talked to Dylan about my reservations regarding Leah. He suggested that the big age difference may be a factor. I don't know. All I do know is that everything was going great, now they're not, and there's good reason to believe she messed around with Kyle and is hiding it from me (in other words, that she cheated on me and is covering it up). 

Sunday. I spent the afternoon writing and ran by Barnes & Noble and 1/2 Price. Mom, Dad, Ams and I went to Florence to celebrate Grandma M.'s birthday with Uncle Bill and Aunt Teri. Dinner was great: Sam Adams beer with steak, salad, and a baked potato. I drove home in a torrential downpour. 

intermission: the week(end)

It's been a pretty good week, albeit busy. Monday through Tuesday was hell, with a 12:30-8:00 shift Monday followed by a 6-2:30 shift Tuesday, then a store meeting at Oakwood from 3-5:00. After the meeting several co-workers and I grabbed sushi from Kabuki: I had an asparagus roll and a spicy scallop roll, and Carly and I split some shrimp tempura. I definitely prefer raw sushi to fried sushi. Wednesday evening Dylan, Tyler, and Patrick came over for a little while, and Thursday I went up to Elle's and we fixed dinner for her family: baked red potatoes, marinated Italian chicken, salads, and some butterscotch cheesecake shooters. Afterwards we did some of her homework and then I headed home. Snow fell Thursday (so sick of it); my car was caked in ice and I did a donut rushing into work on the slick roads. Salt trucks never made an appearance. Ridiculous. Friday evening I went to 1/2 Price Books, didn't find anything interesting, but got to see Elle for a bit.

Yesterday Dylan and I went down to Cincinnati. We had an amazing lunch at the Rock Bottom Brewery, where I sampled some espresso beer my friend Rob, the head roaster at Taza Mia (sp?) is helping to create. Quite a unique porter. Dylan didn't like it, but I did. I got the nachos (truly amazing) and he had the rustic barbecue pizza smeared with ranch. We spent the evening at the Claypole House with Mandy, Rob, Amos, and Tony. Today I plan on getting a lot of writing done--at least two more chapters in the DOTN:2 revision--and then my family is heading down to Florence to celebrate my grandma's birthday with dinner. I'm looking forward to it, and on the ride down (with my snazzy netbook) I can continue working on the story. Not sure how this upcoming week looks (haven't really seen the schedule, except that I work mostly mornings, and early ones), but I hope to see Elle at some point. She's reaching the end of the quarter and is swamped in assignments and research projects, so our hang-out times are becoming sparse. Not sure if I like it.

30 Days (XIII)

A Picture of Your Favorite Band

My music tastes are eclectic and depend on my mood and activities. When I'm writing, I prefer music which conveys the sense of the story. When I'm heading to work, I prefer 94.5 (Dayton) and 101.9 (Cincinnati) for the upbeat songs, most of which are club or house music (we're talking Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Bruno Mars, etc.). But the music I have listened to, and enjoyed, since high school is the music I grew up on, the music my dad played while in the shoppe beside my room. That is, obviously, Led Zeppelin. I still listen to them (and thoroughly enjoy them) to this day. Top favorites: Kashmir, Communication Breakdown, Black Dog. 

30 Days (XII)

A Picture of Something You Love

Sushi is one of those things you're convinced you'll hate--"Raw fish?! WTF?!"--but, when you try it, you absolutely love it. I don't remember the first time I had sushi, though I'm positive it was sometime in 2008 or 2009. Mandy and I used to get sushi all the time, and she worked at a sushi restaurant in downtown Cincinnati for a while. Whether it's sushi or sushi rolls (raw fish or raw fish coupled with rice, seaweed, vegetables and other odds and ends), I love it. I don't like cooked salmon but I adore raw salmon (how strange). There's a restaurant five minutes from my house that has a plate filled with sushi as it is: just raw meats. Yellowtail, snapper, lobster, crab, tuna, salmon, scallops... All sorts of delicious raw fish. If I haven't eaten sushi in a while, I start to crave it; then I have sushi, and I crave it even more. It's like an addiction. I think I'll have sushi for lunch.

30 Days (XI)

A Picture of Something You Hate

My hatred for winter creeps in before the first snowfall. This has been the coldest and most stormy winter we've had in years, and I was sick of it before the first snowflake fell. I'm so damned tired of it and just want it to be spring. I almost deleted this post because it has a picture of snow in it. Tacky, but this is what I hate the most right now.

30 Days (X)

A Picture of The Person You Do
The Strangest Things With

On Mandy's own "30 Day" thing, she put me up as the person she does the strangest things with. I'll reciprocate and do the same. While recently we haven't done too many strange things together, the history of our friendship is peppered with awkward public moments and hilarious little enterprises. She's the one who has seen me at my best (or worst). So many memories come to mind, none of which can be translated by words in such a way that they reveal the hilarity, awkwardness, and strangeness of those times. Most take place in the year 2009 and 2010, when she'd come over to the house once or twice a week to do laundry. She and I with all our friends would go to parties, restaurants, bars and clubs, coffee houses and parks, and we've shared so much laughter and awkward situations that the inside jokes are too numerous to count. She's definitely someone I do strange things with.

30 Days (IX)

A Picture of Someone Who Has Gotten You Through A Lot

Jessie Myers is my best friend. Back when we both lived in Cincinnati--before I hiked north to Dayton and before she trekked west to Illinois--we would hang out nearly every day. Sometimes we would do exciting things, like go to The Anchor. Or go get coffee. But most of the time we'd just hang out on campus, and when I got my own place, we'd spend hours just hanging out, watching tv, and fixing delicious chicken/rice/macaroni & cheese dinners (gourmet and cheap). I remember when we first met: she was chatting up a friend of mine, and I was walking past, and they were sitting on the cobbled stone wall overlooking the city and I sat down in the grass beside them and my friend told her, "He smokes cigarettes." And that was her first impression of me. We hit it off pretty well, and a little group formed. Oh, the days of "the group": me, Kyle, Gambill, Jessie, Faikham, and Deshay. Three different ethnicities all rolled into one: American, Venezuelan, and (my favorite): Thai (and not just 'cause of the food; this girl was a fox). We would go out to eat or just hang out in the campus rec center or go ice skating, my personal favorite. The Group dissolved, and I still talk to Kyle sometimes, and I see Gambill every once in a while, and sadly I don't see Jessie that often. But, anyways, the point of all this: during two years of my life I went through vicious bouts of depression, and she was there alongside me the entire way. A true best friend. And I'd cry and she'd be there, and she'd cry and I'd be there, and when the worst night of my life thus far rolled around, who was the first friend I called? You got it: Jessie. I woke her up at 3:00 in the morning and ranted and raved and wept and cursed as I drove the empty streets of Cincinnati, and she was there for me. And I don't know if I've told her this (and I don't know if she still reads this), but talking to her made me realize everything would be okay. And the next day when I made the decision to move home, she was the first to know. We treated me out for lunch and stood by my side. I love her, and she doesn't know how much she means to me, because I suck at being appreciative. 

30 Days (VIII)

A Picture That Makes You Laugh

I could explain this but, no, I don't think I will.

the dayton days [55]

Amos during "Blake's Room Times"

Valentine's Day. Carly and I did joint PDPs and Dylan met me at work around 7:00 and we made an evening run down to Cincinnati. Dylan, Ams, Mandy, Blake and I crowded Blake's room. Tony has a pet corn snake he literally carries around in his pocket. I didn't see Leah for Valentine's Day, but we're going to make up for it later. Some guy from her school, Mark, gave her a Valentine's Day present. "I wanted you to be there SO BAD!" Leah said. "He drives me crazy!"

Tuesday. I worked 1-4:30, a princess shift to help unload the truck. Tyler and I went to Panera Bread in Centerville, and I ran by Hobby Lobby to pick up part of Leah's Valentine's Day gift. It was good hanging with Tyler, he's got a LOT on his plate right now, and he's been so busy that we haven't seen much of one another. Dylan joined us back at the house for some TV and Mario Kart.

Wednesday. I worked 10-4:00, another easy shift. Grandma and I went out to eat: China Cottage! Mom and Dad joined us there. My fortune cookie: "You will have much to be thankful for in the coming year." Mom, Dad, and Grandma will be gone Thursday through Sunday, so I'll have the house to myself! Leah's coming over on Saturday, and that night I'm going down to Cincinnati for Isaac's birthday bash. It should be a good weekend. Leah's fellow student Mark is really pissing her off: not just the expensive necklace for V-Day, but he's borderline stalking her. "I'm trying hard not to fuck things up with you, and he knows that! He's such an ass! Don't worry, Babe: he's an ass, but you're wonderful."

Thursday. I worked 5-1:00. Leah took over for me, worked till 5:00. We met at Cadillac Jack's and got dinner, and we walked back to her car and sat inside it listening to the radio, and she leaned over and kissed me, soft and tender, passionate yet gentle. Very loving. She was very much into those kisses tonight. 

Friday. I worked 6:30-3:00. Carly--a.k.a. "Cars"--came over around 6:00, and Leah joined us. We hung out in my room and shared lots of laughter. Leah left for work, and Carly & I made an Italian dinner and ran to Target and then back by work to see Leah on her 10. "You two are so cute together!" Carly exclaimed. She opened up to me about a lot of stuff in her life, which was quite surprising. I was honored to know things about her that few do. We parted ways around 10:00, and Leah called me when I got home: "I'm so excited about tomorrow!  I'll probably go crazy on you, give you hickies everywhere! And I'll definitely wear something you'll LOVE!"

Saturday. Leah got here around 10:00, and I had some bourbon and she drank some wine coolers. We played Mario-Kart and watched Netflix. She wore a cammy and super short dancing shorts. She left around 5:30, and Dylan & I grabbed Subway and went to a party at the Claypole House with tons of great people. Celebrating Isaac's birthday. The "cool people" hung out upstairs (so of course I wasn't there; kidding). Katie H. was in from Columbus. Mixing alcohol and other substances rendered me almost unconscious, and I passed out in the narrow upstairs hallway, clutching my Subway bag and drifting in and out of sleep as people shuffled back and forth. I barely remember most of them, but one of them was Jessie, in from Illinois, and I was mad I didn't get to see her. Laura, Mandy's friend and Megan's sister-in-law, came by, too, and apparently I talked to her for a while, but I don't remember. I woke sometime after midnight, and things were quieter, Dylan tugging at me, telling me we had to go. I felt better, definitely not drunk or anything, and we headed back to Dayton.

Sunday. Jessica C. drunk-texted me most of last night, and Leah texted me, too: "I missed you sleeping last night. My bed's lonely without you." Mom & Dad returned from Gatlinburg. Dewenter was going to come over, but that fell through. I spent the day writing: seven shots of espresso, half a pack of cigarettes, two trips to the cafe, and 50 awesome pages. 

intermission: the weekend

This has been, by far, one of the best weekends I've had in quite some time (having the weekend off work certainly helped this come about).

Friday. I worked 6:30-3:00, ran some errands, and at 6:00 Carly came over, and my girlfriend joined us for a bit, and we hung out and laughed and spun stories. My girlfriend ran off to work so Carly and I made an Italian dinner and then went to Target and to my girlfriend's work to see her on her break. It was a great night because (1) I got to see my girlfriend (of course) and (2) I got to hang out with Carly for a while. A really good friend whom I don't get to see too often because we're both too busy. Our pal Jessica would've joined us but she had prior plans. Nevertheless, a great evening.

Saturday. My girlfriend came over for a little bit, and we had some lunch and exchanged Valentine's Day gifts. She made me some delicious homemade muffins, and I got her a clock which she fell in love with after seeing it at the store. I also made her some "romantic coupons"--little coupons she gives me when she wants to do something romantic. Like a picnic, or seeing a movie, or a candlelit dinner, stuff like that (with a few oddities and inside jokes thrown in, of course). After we parted ways Dylan and I went down to Cincinnati to celebrate C. Isaac's birthday. I was exhausted going down there and once we went upstairs to hang out with "the cool kids" I passed out in Blake's bed while watching episodes of "Parks & Recreation." I was so out of it I watched one episode six times. Quite strange.

Sunday. Today's been spent writing. A burst of inspiration coupled with motivation and energy, fueled by seven shots of espresso, half a pack of cigarettes, and a couple shots of bourbon, and I hammered out 50 pages in the "Dwellers of the Night: 2" revision. It's at 220 pages now with only three more chapters to go. I'm halfway done with the first step of the revision process, and that's quite exciting. Now the story becomes more story-driven rather than character-driven, and that'll be a pleasant change. Now I'm drinking some chamomile tea and listening to some Sufjan Stevens and I'm going to call my girlfriend and boast about my accomplishments and go to bed. 

Not really looking forward to the next couple days. I work an evening shift tomorrow, followed by a morning shift Tuesday, an hour break before a special store meeting half an hour away that will take a few hours, then back home to do another morning shift. At least once Thursday's done it's smooth sailing the rest of the week, and I have the weekend off work, too. At least I'm caught up with my writing and can relax. I'm still jittery from all the espresso but this calming tea--not to mention Sufjan--helps. Now to see if I can sleep tonight. 30 Day Challenge resumes tomorrow with "A picture that makes you laugh." I already know what I'm going to choose. A classic.

30 Days (VII)

A Picture of Your Most Treasured Item

Without question, my most treasured possessions aren't things I bought but things I've made. Since 1999 I have journaled every night, reliving my day and hammering down my frustrations, dreams, fears, contemplations. This picture was taken about two years ago; there are more journals now. Journaling is something that helps me articulate my thoughts, calm my nerves, vent my frustrations. And it's fun, too! The best part, however, is going back and reliving memories. If there's something I can't remember, I go back to the day and read what I wrote. Synapses ignite and the memory comes to life. It's really amazing. It's fascinating to see the ebb and flow of relationships, the way my mind worked, how my perceptions have changed. I love these things, and now I keep them in a special box, and plan on getting a fireproof safe to put them in when I can afford such a thing. Without doubt, these are my most treasured possessions.

30 Days (VI)

A Picture of Someone You'd
Trade Places With for a Day

If I could trade places with anyone for a day, it'd be author Cormac McCarthy. This would be entirely utilitarian in nature. The way he writes, the way he describes, the way he pens dialogue, essentially his entire style is something that makes me drool. If I could spend a day in his shoes, perhaps I could see how he perceives the world, how he forms sentences in his mind, how he can put up with using a typewriter, how he just does what he does. There are few writers whom I read, and there are far fewer writers whom I envy, and McCarthy (along with Hemingway) is at the top of the list. And for those of you who don't know, he's the author of "The Road", "All The Pretty Horses", and "No Country For Old Men" (all of which have been made into movies). Some of his longer (and, in my opinion, better) books include "Suttree" (which I'm reading now) and "Blood Meridian" (probably the most intense, widely-scoped, and detailed story I've ever read). If you haven't read him, then stop being a douche and pick up one of his books. 

30 Days (V)

A Picture of Your Favorite Memory

Memories are strange things. Last year I read a book called "The Seven Sins of Memory," about how memories are formed, developed, changed, and lost. A book full of big words. What I remember most, though, are two aspects of how we remember things (or, rather, two things that affect how we remember things). The first is transience: memories generally deteriorate over time, and the more you remember something, the more the memory changes (without the person doing the remembering even noticing, since the memory itself seems to be valid). The other has to do with how, over time, we remember good things rather than bad things (with the exception of bad memories which we relive over and over, thus engraving them into our neural pathways). This is relevant to the question at hand because if I were able to answer the question (and, to be honest, I can't; I have tons of great memories but none which stand out as, above and beyond, the best), chances are the memory relived would be so skewed and distorted from the original event that it wouldn't be true-to-life; also, as I reflect back on all my memories, I can think about "the good old days," days which seemed so full of life and happiness and good things, but in reality they had their own nightmares and hells and traumas which are so easily forgotten. Perhaps this is why the old proverb tells us not to reflect on the good old days, because they weren't as good as we think they are. 

All this aside, a picture of one of my favorite recent memories would be my birthday last year, spent in Chicago with great people: Rob, Mandy, Jessie, and Tony. We hit up museums, the ferris wheel, amazing restaurants, walked the windy city, lost ourselves in laughter and stories, and enjoyed one another's company. This is also a fond memory because at the time, I was in an emotional hell over a girl I loved but whom didn't love me back (such is life, as the French say). Here is my favorite picture from that excursion, taken around 11:00 at night in a lonely park in the middle of the city. We were entirely alone and I even peed in a fountain. Here it is:

30 Days (IV)

A Picture of Your Night

My exciting life has three kinds of nights: (a) a night with Elle. This is certainly exciting. She comes here, or I go there, or we meet in the middle, perhaps at the Fairfield Mall, or at The Greene, or at Panera Bread Company. (b) a night with friends. Such as tonight (Dylan and I pictured), when we gather together, perhaps go out to eat (no Panera today; hit up a barbecue joint with $1 ribs F.T.W.), and spend the evening laughing, smoking cigarettes, perhaps sharing a beer, always playing Mario-Kart. Tonight: such a night. Or (c) a night at home alone, usually involving much 1. writing, 2. watching tv, and 3. contemplating. As an introverted person, I really enjoy "C"; as a person who has great friends whom I love, I really enjoy "B"; and because Elle is amazing, I also really really enjoy "A". So, I guess, I can't complain about how my nights are spent. Not the most exciting, definitely simple, and likewise good.

intermission: valentine's day

I didn't get to spend Valentine's Day with Elle, but that's okay: we're going to be celebrating later in the week, a whole-day extravaganza. Going out to eat, followed by an exchanging of gifts, and then a surprise dinner and maybe a movie. She had school from 9-7:30 yesterday, and I worked 11-7:00, and since we wanted more time together, we decided to reschedule. It worked out, I guess, because I had to make a quick run down to Cincinnati to pick up some papers from my sister, and I talked Dylan into coming, and we hung out with Rob, Blake, and Amos for a while. Tony came home and has a pet snake he keeps in his pocket. How cool. Tomorrow I work an easy shift (1-4:30) and will be seeing Tyler later in the evening. We're hitting up Panera Bread Company; their tuna sandwich is phenomenal, and I need to start eating healthy again. I've gained some weight (albeit nothing bad), and wish to remedy the situation. That's how winter always goes. Come spring, I feel reinvigorated, and I'll be hitting up the gym or Stubb's Park 4-5 times a week to do cardio and lift weights. But for now, the littlest bit of self-control must be maintained.

For enlightenment on Valentine's Day, check out this article HERE. Quite informative.

Regarding writing: I continue to revise "Dwellers of the Night: 2". It's at 150 pages right now, and I'm about halfway through it. I've spent the last week redoing earlier chapters, adding a few scenes here and there to make it flow better, and I scratched an entire chapter and replaced it with something else (a chapter entitled, quite ironically, "Valentine's Day"). I'm very happy with how it's coming along and feel ready to get the rest of it done. My plan remains as it's been: finish revising the entire book digitally, then do hard-copy revisions (the difficult part). This is taking longer than I expected (because I am putting so much work into it), but that's a good thing. I'm still hoping to have the revision entirely done come the end of summer, and then the really hard work begins: submissions to agents and publishing companies. Ick. 

the dayton days [54]

Leah & her kickass Aviators

Monday. I worked 5:30-1:00, read "Suttree" while on break. I watched The Big Lebowski for the first time. I went back to work in the evening to get my tips but they'd been crazy and they weren't done yet. "You can do them if you want," Faith said, so I did, and it took me three hours! I hurried home to a dinner of potatoes, peas, and turkey, courtesy of Mom and Grandma. I ran to the store for cold medicine, I'm coming down with something.

Tuesday. I worked 5:30-9:00, wrote for a while when I got off, did my PDP, and drank an iced raspberry white mocha. I cleaned out my car: piles of Starbucks cups and refuse from my Cincinnati trips. I met Leah at Panera to work on an outline for her midterm tomorrow. She's freaking out, and I was glad to help out. "You're so cute today," she quipped. I ran into Aubree there, and when Leah and I went to the Mall we saw Chris T., who worked at Spring Valley for a bit. I got Tanner a bone from the pet store there and he LOVES it. I put it on a bookshelf and he just sat there staring at it for hours. Grandma is out of town again, so Tanner's sleeping with me. I told Leah I wished she were crawling into bed with me, and she said, "You have NO idea how much I want that, too."

Wednesday. I worked 6-1:00, miserable the whole time because of this damned cold. Dylan, Tyler, and Dewenter came over for some DLM for dinner (I had chili and cornbread) and we played Mario-Kart and laughed so hard we cried. Everything's going really good with Leah: I really like her, she really likes me, we get along great. This is different, it's exciting, and I like it.

Thursday. I had the weirdest dream last night: I married Jacquelyn (a girl I talked to in November of last year) but we never consummated the thing. Mandy K. comes around, wants to get married, and I love her, so we do. So I have to tell Jacquelyn what's happened, because she loves me, and we have to get the marriage annulled. Mandy K. has no idea, and I have to keep it all a secret while I deal with the problem. What's weirdest is (A) Leah wasn't in the dream, and (B) Mandy K. was. That weird feeling you get when you wake up from an off-kilter dream faded, and I was thankful to be back in reality. I ran some errands with Tanner, and he stole my iced soy mocha. Leah came over when she got off work, and we ate some pizza and I taught her some muscle-toning exercises. Her eyes went wide. "Your arms are so cut! It's hot." She poked my chest. "Geez, it's all muscle!"

Friday. I worked 6-1:30, a crazy morning because of shift meetings. Leah came over around 2:00, and we got lunch at 5 Guys (one of her favorite restaurants) and we went to Hobby Lobby by the Centerville Starbucks for drinks. We did some shopping and she was quite playful and touchy. She kept slapping my butt and hugged me from behind, said, "I want to molest you right now." We went back to the house and made brownies and spread the batter on each others' stomachs and licked it off. She crawled on top of me and pinned me down and rode me hard with passionate kissing. She wore me OUT.

Saturday. After work I went to the Wal-Mart in Franklin and got a new "earth-tone" comforter with a bit of my tax refund. I broke it in with a great nap. I told Jessica and Carly that Leah and I are dating. "No freaking way!" Jessica said; "Carly and I talked about how cute you two would be together! That's so awesome!" Carly said, "I knew it! That's great, pal!" Jessica added, "If you guys go public, Faith will LOVE it. It's such a good story." Carly reminded me of a guy who worked at Spring Valley before my time: he and his wife met "on the floor." I went to Starbucks to visit Carly and Leah, and Leah came and sat with me on her 10. "It turns me on being out in public with you," she said; "I want to jump you. And I get SO aroused when you grab my ass." She went back to doing dishes, so I went back there and grabbed her ass as I walked by, and her face blushed SO red. 

Sunday. I went to Starbucks to do some writing. Joe G. came by, sat with me for a bit; he just got back from a trip to Puerto rico. Jessica came and sat with me on her 10 and we smoked cigarettes. Ams came into town late last night and we met up with Leah for lunch: The Pub on the Greene. Stephanie, a Starbucks customer, saw me and bought us all a round of beers. Afterwards we went to the bookstore and then separated. "I like her," Ams said. Dewenter and Dylan came over for Wii and a trip to the bookstore, and at 8:30 I ran by Leah's to borrow her apron (mine are lost) and I taught her a "perfect goodbye" kiss and she said, "Hmm, show me again? Now I really want to kiss you some more!"

30 Days (III)

A Picture of the Cast from Your Favorite Show

I have to go with a classic for this one: "Arrested Development"
Haven't watched an episode in months...
...But I find myself quoting it all the time.

30 Days (II)

A Picture of You and The Person
You've Been Close to For A While

I'm taking the "a while" route and interpreting it literally. Dylan Yosick is one of my best friends and the friend I've had the longest. We became friends in 5th grade while attending Ridgeville Christian Schools, and our friendship blossomed like a white rose in heat. We've changed a lot since then--we don't fart nearly as much, though we both continue to honor passing gas; and I throw away my tissues after each use rather than saving them throughout the week; and he's lost a ton of weight (as have we both)--but in a lot of ways we've retained our truest identities as strange, awkward creatures, being and becoming ourselves when we're with one another. Our hilarious conversations, over-the-line jokes, and disturbing comments make our friendship something special. It was through him that I met another best friend, Tyler Yosick; and I'm glad that Dylan's become friends with lots of my Cincinnati friends and is a part of "the group." He may be heading to Africa for 2 1/2 years with the Peace Corps, and while I miss him, I know that our friendship is so solid that when he returns from Africa, it will be as if things haven't changed. We'll make the same jokes and share the same conversations but then we'll have lots of new stories and adventures both to relive and to share in. Great friends who stick by your side through thick and thin can be hard to find; and Dylan is one of them. Here's to you, Dude [drinking a metaphorical shot of bourbon]. 

30 Days (I)

A Picture of Yourself with 15 Facts

My incredible humility prevents me from wanting to give 15 facts, but I'll do so begrudgingly. My humility, obviously, is fact #1, as it should rightly be. So we'll just skip to #2: My nickname is Koalabeast, a nickname that evolved in two stages. The first part--"koala"--came during my freshman year at college when I had framed pictures of koalas hanging in my dorm room. During my sophomore year of college, I would race up the campus' steps on all fours, racing friends of mine who were soccer players, usually beating them. This, coupled with my random outbursts of all shapes and sizes, coalesced into the nickname "Beast." My friend Kyle combined the two into my stage name: "Koalabeast." This nickname caught fire, and people removed from the college call me by that name. Indeed, it's my nickname even at work.

#3. I am socially awkward. If it's a social situation, my awkwardness will burn as bright as a Roman torch. I've come to grips with it. It's no longer an insecurity, but, rather, something I'm proud of, something I boast in. My friends love it. Mandy told me, "I love going with you to public places just to see what you'll do."

#4. Tying in with my social suave, I have a tendency to say incredibly... wrong... things at the most wrong times. My brain should have an abort button, but, alas, it does not. I tend to ruin conversations (or make them better, depending on your preferences). 

#5. At this point in my life, I'm wholly conflicted regarding what to do with my life. I'm pulled in several different directions simultaneously, the anxiety builds and builds, and there's no release. Oh well. That's the nature of life, I guess; and the nature of goals. I'm just riding with the punches.

#6. I graduated from Cincinnati Bible College in December 2009 with a degree in Biblical Studies, emphasis in New Testament. I originally planned (upon going to college) to graduate, get married, and work at a small church. None of this (except graduating) really panned out. I met some great girls (who then cheated on me), and I became disillusioned with the whole church thing. Now I'm living at home with the parents and working full-time at Starbucks, barely paying my bills. It's not what I wanted to do--and, really, it's not what I want to do--but I feel powerless to change any of it.

#7. I'm a stoic when it comes to life, or at least semi-stoic. The stoics were an ancient school of philosophy, whose major tenet was to embrace reality for what reality is. I used to be the kind of guy who believed in destiny and fate, who believed in fairy-tale love and dreams coming true. But, alas, life doesn't work in such a way, and our lives are decided, mainly, by three things: our decisions, the decisions of others, and chance. Every now and then God's involved, but I think we attribute too many things to the work of God; not that God isn't at work, but I'd bet much of what we attribute to God's hand is really just the result of wise people making wise decisions. And chance. I'm no deist, but I'm certainly not the kind of guy who believes God cares about every decision we make and that he has some beautiful plan for our lives. Tell that to all the Christians who are raped and murdered across the globe, let's see if they hold onto this western-Christian notion.

#8. I'm blessed to have an amazing family. I love my parents and my little sister, and I love my extended family as well. I'm also blessed with great friends, both here in Dayton and in Cincinnati. I always love seeing them, bearing my soul to them, opening up to them, being myself with them, being real with them. Such friends are hard to find.

#9. I love to write. But not poetry. I suck balls at poetry. I'm currently working on two--no, three--projects: two Christian works ("Re:framing Repentance" and a devotional/bible study on 1 Peter) and rewriting my 2009 novel "Dwellers of the Night" for a (hopeful) commercial publication agreement by the end of the year.

#10. I love to read. In the realm of non-fiction, I enjoy the works of N.T. Wright and those like him, as well as the works of Michael Gorman. In the realm of fiction, my favorite authors are Cormac McCarthy, Ernest Hemingway, and Patrick O'Brien. 

#11. I'm dating a pretty great girl. Her name's Elle, and we get along great. I'm not sure where it's going, not really sure about anything, but I like her and she likes me, and I care about her and she cares about me, and in a world where many relationships are founded upon people using one another, this is something good, something to hold onto, and I plan on doing that.

#12. I'm addicted to coffee. I'm addicted to cigarettes. And I love good bourbon. Here's an idea: a night cap with a shot of bourbon, paired with a cigarette. Define: heaven.

#13. I'm a simple guy and I live a simple life. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if I had a million dollars. I really don't know. I'd probably get a small house, dress it up sparingly, and just hang out. I can't imagine not having a job--I'd be bored out of my mind. I like the simple things. Hanging out with friends, having a good beer, playing some video games, sitting on the front porch in the summer smoking cigarettes and setting things on fire. A fireplace in the hearth during winter, some hot chocolate, reruns of my favorite tv shows. Simplicity begets me.

#14. I'm running out of facts. I'm simply not that interesting. Which is why I only have like seven people who read this blog (on a good week).

#15. At this moment I am sitting in Starbucks on my netbook drinking an iced white mocha. The time is 4:51. Mom and Grandma are at the house. I get to see Elle tomorrow after work. That makes me happy.

2.9.11

So. Sick. Of. Winter. Okay done.

I'm sitting at work right now, on my break, drinking an iced white mocha with some toffee nut thrown into the mix. It's pretty decent. Yesterday Elle and I met at the Panera by her house and hashed out an outline for her midterm. We went the route of writing about the protestant reformation in the 14th-16th centuries, something I'm vaguely familiar about. The Black Plague would've been more interesting, but as I am sick and because we were pressed for time, we went with something we knew. I saw my old co-worker Aubree there, and after Panera we went to the Fairfield Mall and saw another old co-worker, Chris, working at the Bux there. He hooked up Elle with a venti iced coffee and four shots of espresso to assist her in her all-nighter last night. Elle and I parted ways till Friday, and I gave Tanner a bone he fell head-over-heels for. It's become the definition of his life, he's wholly obsessed. He tried to climb a bookcase to get it, most adorable albeit stupid thing ever.

Life isn't too exciting right now. I mean, it's going good. Writing, drinking coffee, hanging out with friends, dating a wonderful girl, fabulous trips to Cincinnati, making good hours at work. I'm sure once spring comes around, there will be more thoughts to post, more adventures to write about; but for right now, my life consists of nothing invigorating. And because of this, I've decided to do on my blog what's called "The 30 Day Photo Challenge." Essentially for thirty days--although, in reality, there will be intermissions here-and-there when I decide I want to write about something else--I will post a picture in line with the subject and write about that subject and/or picture. Here's the schema (and we start tomorrow):

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show. 

Day 04 - A picture of your night. 

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory. 

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day. 

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the strangest things with.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel. 

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

super bowl weekend

Elle and I spent Friday afternoon together. She came over when I got off work, and we spent the afternoon and evening talking about everything and nothing, and we watched some shows on television and had dinner--she had Subway and I had Skyline Chili, and we took it back to the house--and then we went to a place called "The Christmas Tree Shoppe" which is a lot like hobby lobby but nowhere near as cool (or cheap). I spent most of Saturday in Cincinnati with the gang, living it up at the Claypole House. Dylan came along, too. On Sunday I watched the super bowl with Elle's parents: they threw a party and a bunch of Hannah's friends came along. It was good, with stuffed mushrooms and quesadillas and all kinds of desserts. Didn't eat well this weekend; oh well.

This week should be pretty good. Grandma's back in town, and tonight she made a great dinner: potatoes, peas, and turkey. Tomorrow I'm going to see Elle for a bit, help her study for midterms at Panera; Wednesday Mom has her bible study, Thursday I have the day off work, and Friday I'll hopefully be seeing Elle. I may hang out with Dylan and Tyler Wednesday, and hopefully see Patrick on Thursday. I finished the Chapter of Hell in "Dwellers of the Night: 2" and can now breathe a great sigh of relief and march forward into the rest of the book. 

Life's going good.

Minus this effing sickness.

Congestion. Watery eyes. Occasional nausea. Splitting headaches.

Not a big fan.

the dayton days [53]

Jess with LOTS of milk

Monday. I went down to Cincinnati, grabbed lunch with Mandy, Sarah C., Stephen and Ams: Soho Sushi. Ams and I convened with Blake up in his room for much of the afternoon, and Mandy joined us up there when she got back from work. She quit Soho, got a babysitting job, and is quitting that job, too. Ha! The rest of the night was spent playing Wii and watching "30 Rock."

Tuesday. We got lots of ice overnight. I worked 9:30-3:15, a good time with great people, making coffee for the scant customers braving the roads. Dylan & Tyler came over for a while, but they left when it started sleeting again. We're watching Tanner for a few days, and he nearly experienced Death-by-Van. Stupid (albeit cute) dog. It's windy and the ice is heavy and limbs are snapping and trees falling everywhere. And our electric is out. No surprise.

Wednesday. I dreamt Leah & I had sex and told her about it. "Was I any good?" she asked. "Absolutely!" I said. I woke at 5 AM to a strange world cloaked in ice. Limbs down, power outages, even saw a distant transformer exploding in a purple burst on my way to work. Work was chaotic: Joanne and Tony couldn't make it cause of the roads. I went in early to assist Jess in opening. A power outage overnight caused all the milk to go bad, so Jess & I ran to Cub's and filled two carts. "Everyone probably thinks we're a married couple obsessed with milk," she laughed. We were going to hit up Namaste India after work, but that fell through. I ran by the bank and saw Dylan & Tyler there. Hot Head Burrito for dinner.

Thursday. I opened the store. Mom & Dad went on a date, and Pat D. came over after work for some beers and Mario-Kart. He's addicted.

Friday. Leah came over when I got off work, and we went to a few shops and held hands and laughed, and we were happy and content. We made out for a while in my bedroom, and she gave me tons of hickies on my tummy and she kept smacking my ass and I kissed her petite stomach over and over again. "I wore a short shirt because I know you love my belly," she said. When she left I walked her to her car and she was shivering so I held her and she said, "Kissing you keeps me warm." Her midterms are coming up, and I told her we should study for them, and she grabbed my hand and drew it over her ass, legs, and stomach. "Study these instead," she said; "I need to study YOUR body more," and she went about groping my arms and chest. Pretty hot.

Saturday. Dylan & I headed down to Cincinnati when I got out of work. We spent the afternoon hanging out with Amos, Mandy, and Ams. Blake was there, too, with his buddy Billy. I called Leah on our way back to Cincinnati. I really like her, and I don't (yet) have any hesitations. "I'm so glad to see you happy," Mandy said. Leah's mom has hated all her boyfriends, but she told her, "Anthony's a great boyfriend. He helps you with school, understands your priorities, isn't demanding." Kyle from work was flirting with Leah hardcore over text, saying some surprising things, wanting to fool around and calling her his slut. She told him off, said she had a boyfriend, and he got pissed. 

Superbowl Sunday '11. Grandma is back in town from her sister's. I went to the Route 48 Starbucks to continue working on Reframing Repentance: almost finished. An iced soy white mocha helped me plow through the latest chapter. "If winter were a woman," Dylan said, "I'd get a bunch of guys together, rape her, slit her throat, and bathe in her blood." That came out of Dylan's mouth, but I understand: winter's a bitch, and a long-ass bitch at that. I need the smell of summer, I need its noises in my ears. I got gas, did more writing at the Bux, and then went over to Leah's with an iced white mocha for her as a treat. Her parents threw a Superbowl Party with lots of good food and lots of Hannah's friends. Students from Cedarville. 

my mood

napping with tanner

I'm watching my grandma's dog for a couple days. I came home after work this afternoon to find him curled up on the couch with saddened eyes, shivering uncontrollably. The heater went out, probably cause of the cold, and it dropped down to about fifty. It's an old house, awful insulation. My heart broke so I wrapped him up in my UK throw-blanket and after about fifteen minutes he was okay, and we took a two-hour nap together and he wasn't cold anymore. It makes me happy to help little animals. 

After my two-hour nap and a few episodes of "30 Rock" off Netflix, I did some writing. About ten pages. Revising this chapter is hell. I've rewritten the chapter three times only to delete nearly all of it. I'm content with the first twenty pages and only have about ten more pages to go, if that. I haven't had this much difficulty editing/revising in a long time, and it's quite wearying. It's times like these that I'd love to have some bourbon, but bourbon is bad for me because it tastes so good, and I can never just sip a double-shot (though I have considered doing nite-caps in the morning before work to help me wake up, but I doubt I'll actually do that). I've taken the night off writing and plan on finishing the chapter Sunday before the Super bowl party at Elle's place. Tomorrow Elle and I are hanging out, and Saturday I'm going to Cincinnati for the night following my 7-3:00 at work. It'll be a good weekend, I think--albeit one filled with much travel.

helluva day

The ice storm last night knocked out the power to our work overnight, but the power had returned when we got in. We didn't know anything had happened until an hour and a half after opening when I took a sip of milk. It tasted odd, but I figured it was just because I'd been pairing it with a lemon pound cake. I took a few more sips, became concerned, brought Jess over to smell it. She wrinkled her nose. Turns out every dairy product in the store had spoiled, and we had to toss hundreds of gallons of milk into the drains. A wearying job. During all this, two co-workers couldn't make it to work since their county was on a Level 3, so we were understaffed. It would've been slow, except we were bombarded with people demanding coffee since their home power had gone out and they couldn't brew their own. Add onto this problems with the sticker machine, and we had quite a chaotic morning. A brief respite came when Jess and I ran to the store to buy some backup milk. Behold a picture of her with our purchase:

Someone asked us what we were doing with all the milk, and Jessica politely explained, "Our power went out and all our milk spoiled, so we need to restock." She failed to mention that this was for a business and not a private home. The man looked at us as if we were crazy and then left, and I started laughing. The rest of the shift went okay, and by the time I went home, things were beginning to return to normal. Nevertheless, it was a hellish day I don't want to relive. Oh: and the supply truck never came, so we're running on fumes at the store, don't know when the truck will actually come in, and customers are getting pissed. Oh well. It's out of our hands. Blame the weather.

ice ice baby

Worst storm of the winter, they're saying. I hate snow, but I prefer snow over this. Ice is awful. It cut into my Yosick Time, and that's unacceptable. The roads seemed to be fine this morning when I went to work, but apparently they weren't: hospitals are flooded, emergency vehicles kept passing by three times more than usual, and to top it off, the ice we got last night is (no pun intended) the tip of the iceberg. Another awful storm is rolling in tonight (hell, it's already here), and the roads are twice as bad as they were this morning. I went out for a cigarette and didn't see a single car drive by on the road, and all I could hear was the wind rattling the ice-kissed trees and bits and pieces of the trees falling all over the place. A branch landed on my car. How sad. The storm is said to have three waves: one right now, one for four hours overnight, and then another 2-3 hour wave coming tomorrow morning. I'm not looking forward to my drive to work tomorrow, but at least we'll be slow. The roads were okay this morning and we were already pretty dead. It should be an easy day tomorrow.

In other news, I had a great weekend (Sunday-Monday). I spent Sunday with Elle. We had brunch with her mom, dad, sister, and her sister's friend. We played some cards with her family and then had Greek for lunch, followed by an animated movie, doing homework, playing on the Wii, and watching a tv show that I dreaded watching but actually enjoyed: "Downtown Abbey." Saturday I went down to Cincinnati. Sushi with Mandy, Sarah C., Stephen and Ams. Saturday evening was spent eating great food, watching an entire season of "30 Rock," and playing 007 and Mario-Kart on the Wii. And tantalizing conversation, of course. 

And, yes, I took that picture myself.

K bye.