30 Days (I)

A Picture of Yourself with 15 Facts

My incredible humility prevents me from wanting to give 15 facts, but I'll do so begrudgingly. My humility, obviously, is fact #1, as it should rightly be. So we'll just skip to #2: My nickname is Koalabeast, a nickname that evolved in two stages. The first part--"koala"--came during my freshman year at college when I had framed pictures of koalas hanging in my dorm room. During my sophomore year of college, I would race up the campus' steps on all fours, racing friends of mine who were soccer players, usually beating them. This, coupled with my random outbursts of all shapes and sizes, coalesced into the nickname "Beast." My friend Kyle combined the two into my stage name: "Koalabeast." This nickname caught fire, and people removed from the college call me by that name. Indeed, it's my nickname even at work.

#3. I am socially awkward. If it's a social situation, my awkwardness will burn as bright as a Roman torch. I've come to grips with it. It's no longer an insecurity, but, rather, something I'm proud of, something I boast in. My friends love it. Mandy told me, "I love going with you to public places just to see what you'll do."

#4. Tying in with my social suave, I have a tendency to say incredibly... wrong... things at the most wrong times. My brain should have an abort button, but, alas, it does not. I tend to ruin conversations (or make them better, depending on your preferences). 

#5. At this point in my life, I'm wholly conflicted regarding what to do with my life. I'm pulled in several different directions simultaneously, the anxiety builds and builds, and there's no release. Oh well. That's the nature of life, I guess; and the nature of goals. I'm just riding with the punches.

#6. I graduated from Cincinnati Bible College in December 2009 with a degree in Biblical Studies, emphasis in New Testament. I originally planned (upon going to college) to graduate, get married, and work at a small church. None of this (except graduating) really panned out. I met some great girls (who then cheated on me), and I became disillusioned with the whole church thing. Now I'm living at home with the parents and working full-time at Starbucks, barely paying my bills. It's not what I wanted to do--and, really, it's not what I want to do--but I feel powerless to change any of it.

#7. I'm a stoic when it comes to life, or at least semi-stoic. The stoics were an ancient school of philosophy, whose major tenet was to embrace reality for what reality is. I used to be the kind of guy who believed in destiny and fate, who believed in fairy-tale love and dreams coming true. But, alas, life doesn't work in such a way, and our lives are decided, mainly, by three things: our decisions, the decisions of others, and chance. Every now and then God's involved, but I think we attribute too many things to the work of God; not that God isn't at work, but I'd bet much of what we attribute to God's hand is really just the result of wise people making wise decisions. And chance. I'm no deist, but I'm certainly not the kind of guy who believes God cares about every decision we make and that he has some beautiful plan for our lives. Tell that to all the Christians who are raped and murdered across the globe, let's see if they hold onto this western-Christian notion.

#8. I'm blessed to have an amazing family. I love my parents and my little sister, and I love my extended family as well. I'm also blessed with great friends, both here in Dayton and in Cincinnati. I always love seeing them, bearing my soul to them, opening up to them, being myself with them, being real with them. Such friends are hard to find.

#9. I love to write. But not poetry. I suck balls at poetry. I'm currently working on two--no, three--projects: two Christian works ("Re:framing Repentance" and a devotional/bible study on 1 Peter) and rewriting my 2009 novel "Dwellers of the Night" for a (hopeful) commercial publication agreement by the end of the year.

#10. I love to read. In the realm of non-fiction, I enjoy the works of N.T. Wright and those like him, as well as the works of Michael Gorman. In the realm of fiction, my favorite authors are Cormac McCarthy, Ernest Hemingway, and Patrick O'Brien. 

#11. I'm dating a pretty great girl. Her name's Elle, and we get along great. I'm not sure where it's going, not really sure about anything, but I like her and she likes me, and I care about her and she cares about me, and in a world where many relationships are founded upon people using one another, this is something good, something to hold onto, and I plan on doing that.

#12. I'm addicted to coffee. I'm addicted to cigarettes. And I love good bourbon. Here's an idea: a night cap with a shot of bourbon, paired with a cigarette. Define: heaven.

#13. I'm a simple guy and I live a simple life. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if I had a million dollars. I really don't know. I'd probably get a small house, dress it up sparingly, and just hang out. I can't imagine not having a job--I'd be bored out of my mind. I like the simple things. Hanging out with friends, having a good beer, playing some video games, sitting on the front porch in the summer smoking cigarettes and setting things on fire. A fireplace in the hearth during winter, some hot chocolate, reruns of my favorite tv shows. Simplicity begets me.

#14. I'm running out of facts. I'm simply not that interesting. Which is why I only have like seven people who read this blog (on a good week).

#15. At this moment I am sitting in Starbucks on my netbook drinking an iced white mocha. The time is 4:51. Mom and Grandma are at the house. I get to see Elle tomorrow after work. That makes me happy.