the dayton days: I

my Dayton Days third place

Monday. I went down to Cincinnati and met up with Kyle. We hung out in his apartment in Restoration. He's the A.R.D. He made popcorn and gave me some winter clothes, including a nice jacket, from a woman at his church. I went to the Hilltop and hung out with Jessie and Mandy. Maggie was there, and that was awkward. No words were exchanged. I went to the Lehman House. I fixed potatoes and Sarah made steak and bought me some bourbon and cleaned up after dinner. Jessie said, "Sarah's never gone out of her way for you. She's obviously trying to win you back." I packed up some more things after dinner, like my hamster, and Sarah was visibly upset. She asked if I wanted to go to the Sunset Pub before I left. I said, "Sure." So we went, and Sarah got a beer and I got a shot of bourbon and we talked about all that's gone down. I told her that if she wants to be with Billy, then she should be. He's definitely better than Keith. We shared some nostalgic laughs and I headed back to the Lehman House. I ended up staying the night after watching "Dumb & Dumber" with her. "You leaving is just as hard as a break-up," she said.

Tuesday. I went with Mandy to the Kenwood Mall and treated me to some espresso from the Tazza Mia kiosk. She asked when I'd be back. I told her probably a couple weeks: "I need time to just zone out, refresh, get my shit together." I went back to Dayton and called Jess Lynn. Mandy K. called to get the scoop on my move. I worked out and cleaned the house and ate dinner. Mom & Aisa led a Sr. High girl's small group at the house, so Dylan and I went to the Rusty Bucket for drinks and browsed Borders across the street. We were walking the aisles and he told me, "You're such a cynic, and I understand why, but I think your cynicism will be broken. I think your perspective will get better." I hope so. He added, "I'm excited to see where your life takes you."

Wednesday. I woke with a headache so I went back to bed. I ate lunch and searched for jobs all afternoon. Fixed a pot roast for dinner. I went over to Dewenter's, and we hung out for a bit. Billy sent me a message online asking me for permission to "talk" to Sarah. WTF?! I moved away to get away from all that shit and then he makes me the one who holds "their future" in his hands. I cursed and swore and tried to decide what to do. Sarah got in the way of my happiness, and I was tempted to make sure he knew that by choosing him, she would be losing a friend. But I love Sarah. I really do. And love isn't love if it isn't sacrifice, if it doesn't hurt. Maybe this is my destiny: to care too much, to sacrifice so much, that I'll always be alone.

Thursday. I dreamt I was dating a pale skinny girl with black hair and hazelnut eyes. I woke and ate breakfast and worked out and applied for jobs. I went on a bike ride and nearly died. I went for a drive to Clearcreek Park where Jess Lynn and I made out and where Courtney and I made love. I went to Starbucks on 741 and drank a coffee while reading. I went home and rewrote the first chapter of "36 Hours" for a revision. It's something to do. I made chicken pot pie for dinner and got groceries for Mom and picked her up a green tea latte from Spring Valley Starbucks but they made it wrong so I went back and flirted with the cute barista and she gave me a coupon for two free drinks. I'll use them tomorrow.

Friday. I woke around 9:00 and had an egg for breakfast. I showered and went to Spring Valley for a skinny latte. It started to snow around noon and Mom and I went out for Chinese and the roads were awful by the time we got back. They're anticipating 3-6". Jess Lynn and I decided we're going to open a restaurant in Alaska and I'm going to catch the fish, lobsters, and crabs and she'll cook them. I spent the evening working on "36 Hours" (we'll dub it 36H2, 'cause it's the second edition, from here on out) and playing Wii. 

Saturday. I told Jess Lynn, "I'm a simple man. And I'm living a simple life. I sleep in peace at night. It's incredible." We got half a foot of snow overnight. Mom and I went to the grocery and she went to a baby shower and I shoveled the driveway clear of snow. Dropped salt on it, too. I got the first seven chapters of 36H2 rewritten. I took a shower, napped for a bit, and I decided to save my Starbucks trip for later in the week. I made a cigarette run and was in bed by 10:00. Cincinnati tomorrow! Seems I can't stay away.

Sunday. Mom and I visited a church this morning. I went down to the Lehman House and Jessie came over. We sat on the sofa and talked and she did homework and I plucked away on my laptop. We went over to the Hoos Apartment and watched the Superbowl and had house church. It was good seeing them and Amos and Tony. At 10:30 I went back to the Lehman House and Sarah was back from her brother's, and we sat in the dining room till about 11:30 and talked. It was good but painful at the same time. I still like her, and she was so pretty tonight. When I got home and settled into bed, I found it so peaceful and serene. There's comfort here in Dayton, and comfort in the distance between us.