Friday, May 28, 2010

stupid bumper stickers

I love it when I'm driving down the road and there's a stoplight and I pull up close enough to see the bumper sticker on the back of the car in front of me. Sometimes they're funny and sometimes they're foolish. As a general rule, the Christian ones are foolish. I saw one today that said: "Jesus--Don't Leave Earth Without Him!" which buys into the platonic and gnostic idea that heaven is a destruction of the earth and all the redeemed will dwell in a supra-spiritual realm of ethereal spirits. It's quite un-Christian. But I digress. I wish I had my camera with me so I could take a picture, but oh well. Instead I will offer to you one of the most common ones seen out there. This buys into "rapture" theology which is seen nowhere in scripture. The Latin Vulgate translated one of the Greek words in 1 Thessalonians 4 as rapio, "caught up," which is derived from the Latin rapere, meaning "to seize/abduct." This lends to a theologically inaccurate understanding of the text, which speaks of something entirely different. But I digress. Here is the infamous bumper sticker:

My immediate feeling when seeing this is a feeling of critique. It's in my nature to critique anything labeled "Christian" from a theological perspective, and immediately I critique this on biblical grounds. That critique--"This is stupid."--quickly becomes annoyance. Annoyance at the strange beliefs many Christians have and how Christians just swallow up the theology (if you can call it that) fed to them by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins (what I call LaHayan and Jenkinian theology). The annoyance quickly becomes a bitter anger: anger because such bumper stickers make us look stupid (although a more intense anger is experienced with those "testamints", mints with Bible verses on them so you can "evangelize" as you pass out mints). I see this proclamation of the car being unmanned at the rapture and I want to say, "No, your car will be unmanned when I drag your ass out of it and beat you for being a freaking idiot." Now I must say humility in this matter is not mine, and I confess that. In the knowledge that I am often wrong in my knowledge, I should get a bumper sticker like this one:

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