After school Amanda asked me if I remembered when she called me butthead and pimple-face and fatty. I told her I did. She asked me if it made me sad, because she always used those words in place of my real name during my years of depression. I told her no. She seemed to lighten up. Then she asked, "What made you sad?" As honestly as I could, I said, "Pretty much just the simple fact you didn't like me." I must tell you she almost cried. She wrapped her arms around me so tight I farted (no joke). Yeah. That really happened.

God has been convicting me so tenderly that, to sum it up - and these aren't really his own words - I suck at witnessing. But I bet he agrees. I can't remember the last time I actually reached out to someone not in my community of faith. I mean, sure, I say hi to people and strike up friendly conversation, but I avoid the topic of God. I am afraid of scaring them away from God. But if I don't open my mouth, how can they ever think of running from God? The problem is I don't really know HOW to witness. I am surrounded by people who hold the Bible as Truth, and they're all in my community of faith, and all the others think the Bible is another counterfeit; all the witnessing books I have say go down the romans road, but what if people don't think the roman road exists? You get nowhere really. And I am a horrible speaker when countered. I stutter and stammer and struggle for words. When it's all over, what I SHOULD have said always pops into my head. It really makes me crazy inside.

If anyone has any tried-and-true, personal-encounters, non-textbook ideas or suggestions that I could ponder on in these times I would really appreciate them.