Why do I believe in God? Why do I believe in Jesus? It isn't rational; I mean, God isn't rational. God just doesn't make sense. It's like a caveman trying to understand an IPOD. That's how I feel sometimes. You'd go crazy trying to understand all there is to God. God, Jesus, faith, Christianity, it's all mysterious.
But why do I believe in all this? I didn't always. The idea of a Super Being controlling my life was horrible (and it still is!). Despite this, I felt drawn - not intellectually or mentally, but spiritually and emotionally - to God. I felt God drawing me to Him. I gave in and realized that God didn't want to control me, but free me; I realized God didn't want to squelch my life, but give me real life (and what great life it is!). I remember when I first said, "Yes," to God; most people say it was a miraculous, life-changing event. Mine wasn't really. I didn't feel any different. But that decision has etched a life I happily claim my own. The miracles and the roller-coaster emotions didn't start at the beginning of the journey, but are all over the journey itself.
I never really chose to believe; belief chose me. Those truths I hold so close chose me. I feel like a babbling fool - I really can't explain any of it. Yet this I know - it is beautiful, true, wonderful. It's not something you know with your mind, it's something you know with your heart. You can feel it in your soul. It is life. That's really all it is.
Life.
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3 comments:
It's a hard thing to put into words and the experience is different for everyone because our hearts are all in a different place and only God knows how to reach that place The closest feeling I've ever had close to it( and it doesn't really compare) is "first love" Someday you'll know what I mean if you haven't experienced that yet
Its hard to give in sometimes..but with me it was different. To make a long story short I knew how bad I needed God and I just threw my hands up in the air and surrendered. He takes control of your life in the best way possible.
You are right Anthony, the concept of God doesn't make sense. It doesn't seem logical. But even if somehow you can believe in a Creator God, it is even more illogical to believe in him as a man. A man willing to die for the sins of all humankind for all time. The whole thing seems like a strange sci-fi story. But I know what you mean when you say that faith chose you. I feel the same way all the time. God does pursue us. He chases after us. He longs for a relationship with us. And so he uses other people, events, and situations to mold our heart until he is on our radar. When you get into the book, "Blue Like Jazz" you will realize that you are not alone. it is a battle that is difficult to be in the middle of: Faith or Logic. But after a while, when you study what he has created. it only makes sense that it was created and not a cosmic accident. God is actually more logical than we give him credit.
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