Sunday, December 10, 2006

I met with Roger yesterday afternoon at the new McDonald’s, drank a coke and ate a double cheeseburger, and announced my resignation from Southwest Church as both a member and a teacher. I explained, “I have so much on my plate right now that I can’t deal with this, too. Teaching has become a burden to me, and I’m not growing spiritually. If anything, I’m declining spiritually. I’m beginning to have some doubts regarding things I’ve always held dear. I am in no condition right now to be a leader for the kids.”

So that’s why I wasn’t at church yesterday. I slept in, then spent some time out on the deck praying. “Look at me, God. I am miserable. My dream girl left me. My best friend betrayed me. I’m growing more and more distant from you each and every day. I don’t even know what to do. I want a different life than the one I lead. You have the right to leave me like this, but you also have the right to transform my life. God, I want this transformation. I do not want to be like this anymore. I am begging you to change my life. I cannot change it; only you can. You have all the power and all the ability, God. You do what you want to do. But please know this: your child—as broken and messed up as he is—is suffering. You tell me what to do, and I shall do it. I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

2 comments:

Rochelle said...

Just want you to know I think you made the right decision as far as stepping back from responsibility and teaching..you need to take time to heal and to allow God to guide you in the next step wherever that is. I am praying for you Anthony Tyler will be home late tomorrow night...I hope you take him up on his offer to spend time with you Take time to allow God to work in your heart and fill you back up.. You will feel that joy again

Mike said...

I know this is a tough time for a lot of people, especially people connected to SW. I am praying for you and for many others who have to make difficult decisions about their future. I know that when I resigned, it was a painful, prayerful, and misunderstood decision, but I know it was the right decision. There is no perfect church, but I do pray that peace comes to everyone involved. I hope that SW can rise from its ashes (although that might require some changes). I know that God will continue to use you in powerful ways. Keep focused on the roots...

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Over the last several years, we've undergone a shift in how we operate as a family. We're coming to what we hope is a better underst...