the role of feelings in love

An uneducated look at my last two posts might prompt the reader to assume that I believe feelings do not play a role in love. This is absolutely not true! I earnestly believe that love plays a huge role, but it is not the key player. I found this online yesterday and thought it might be relevant:

Yes, love [includes] contentment, happiness, lust, needed companionship; these are, to an extent, offshoots [of love]. What love is, is something that cannot be put into words very easily. Love is a series of emotions, that when combined, result in the greatest feeling that you will ever know. Waking up next to that someone, and snuggling with them for hours. Looking into her eyes and seeing and feeling absolute joy. Knowing that if you had a split-second to choose one moment in your life to spend the rest of eternity, it would be that one.

Love is knowing you always have that person. The [crap] can hit the fan, but the most important part of your life—her—still remains. You do everything for her, as long as she’s happy.

It is not something you can try to give a definition to. It’s an elusive animal that resists all forms of accurate description. But it is unique in that it will reveal all when the time is right.

So what role do feelings play? It is a scientific error to say that the feelings of love are formulated in the heart; to say that the feelings of love come from the heart holds as much validity as saying that the feelings of love come from the liver! The feelings of love that are experienced come from several different chemicals in the brain working together—such as dopamine or oxytocin (the “cuddling” chemical). As infatuation dies out, some new chemicals in the brain begin working (morphine-like opiates created by endorphins) and through them we experience intimacy, dependability, warmth, and shared experiences. As a couple continues to stay together, they become addicted to these chemicals, resulting in an even greater intimacy and a desire to be together.

So “emotions” do play a huge role in love, but they are not to be the staple. What is the staple in any good romantic relationship? According to my belief, the staple is selflessness, servitude, sacrifice, and respect and adoration.