an excerpt

Repentance, faith, baptism—all of this leads to a renewed relationship with God. It is an act of God, a declarative speech-act, that transfers us from one end of the spectrum to the other. It is the speech-act that bridges the metaphorical chasm; it is the speech-act that takes Genesis 3 and kicks it out the window. Those who were once disallowed from entering the Throne Room of God can now, thanks to salvation and justification, enter boldly and speak with their King. Those who were banished outside the city walls of Zion are now in Zion and can walk the streets, celebrating and dancing and laughing and drinking. Sadly, thanks to the guilt-complexes dispelled by our culture, most Christians, while acknowledging in theory that they now have access to the Throne Room and are now inside the city, don’t actually appropriate it for themselves. They’ll stand in the corner of the Throne Room, or cower in the farthest corner of the city, curling into a little ball. The knowledge that we “stumble in many ways” (as St. James puts it) keeps us, psychologically, from embracing the reality that has befallen us: forgiveness has taken place; justification has taken place; we are in a new and right standing with God. Knowledge of our sins should invoke humility; but humility should not be equated with cowardice. 

That excerpt is from page 178 of my book on repentance. It's prefaced by a short survey of justification, and it's all about the event of our status before God being changed. I decided to post it up here because I find it ironic that those things I write which I hope to eventually have an affect on readers often have an affect on me. Like this here. "Sadly... most Christians... don't actually appropriate [this] for themselves." I would have to say, with equal sadness, that I often fall into that group. There are guilt-complexes that I am constantly at war with, seeking to crucify in thought and deed and sometimes failing miserably. I do sin, we all do. And every night when I look over my day, I find myself again confronted with my sin. And I feel awful about it, genuinely remorseful. And this "feeling" hinders my prayers. I don't stand boldly in the throne room, I don't leap and dance and drink in the city of God. I know, theologically, that I have entered the throne room, that I have come to Mt. Zion; it's nothing of my own doing, but the doing of God. And while I know this this theologically, I don't know it--in the intimate sense--pragmatically. *sigh* It's not like a switch can be thrown. I must continue pursuing the renewing of my mind through the scriptures and through prayer and by the power of the Spirit.