Last night I lit some incense and went onto the back porch. I walked between the tables and chairs and just prayed. I love these prayers, underneath the velvet stars, an intimate dance between me and the Creator. As we tossed our words back and forth, He spoke to me vivid and clear:

“Why do you always blame Me for your shortcomings? Why do you always blame Me for your cowardice? You keep expecting me to throw a girl in your lap. You think I’ll do this because I’m a good Father. Don’t you understand? I’m a good Father! A good Father doesn’t just spoil His child; He teaches him how to live. He teaches him how to fish, how to hunt, how to take care of the house. I am a good Father, Anthony. One of My greatest experiences with you is when you let me teach you and lead you and show you how to live. Why should it be any different in the realm of girls? I’m not just going to give you a girl. There is a beautiful, wonderful and loving girl out there right now, waiting for you. But you have to pursue her. This is how I have designed mankind. You must pursue her. I know you’re frightened of the thought. I know your past experiences haven’t boosted your morale in this area. And I’m not promising that every time you pursue, you’ll be met with smiles and warm hugs. But I am telling you that I will be there with you. I will teach you. I will guide you, through the good and the bad. We are going to pursue girls together. You have to step out of the boat, Anthony, if you want to know what swimming is all about. Are you ready to step out of the boat, Buddy?”

I feel somewhat… hesitant. I haven’t had a very good past in the girl area (and I am to blame for much of it). I’ve always wanted God just to give me a girl and now it seems like He’s saying, “You’ve got to start moving. You’ve got to start walking.” For so long I’ve taken pursuing girls and developing my intimacy with God and divided them, but now it’s almost like God is saying, “You can strengthen your intimacy with Me through pursuing girls!” I know it sounds crazy. But this is what I believe God is telling me.