I feel so restless, though maybe discontented is a better word. And while I know there will never be contentment here, that knowledge doesn't make it easier to bear. In high school I was confident that by age 23 would be a full-time pastor with a wife. It didn't work out like that. No church job, despite countless attempts; no wife, despite even more "attempts" (and cheaters, liars, and back-stabbers don't make things easier). Many of my friends whom I went to school with are working in ministry, married, or both. Two of my exes are married following pretty awful breakups. Yes, cynicism and disillusionment run deep. Amidst this--and no doubt influenced by it--I am restless and aimless, just trudging through this bitch-whore called life, telling myself to hope, pleading with God to help, and hoping that when he does, I won't [screw] it up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
the reformation [II]
sitting around 132.5# In January of last year, our household shifted to 80% whole, unprocessed foods and 20% allowance for everything else...
-
I have kept a daily journal since 1999. What you see here is my proud collection, each journal holding on its pages the excitement and t... -
Tonight I went to God in prayer for a good measure of time and just cried out for His voice in these trying times. His voice came through se...
-
Last weekend was one of the most enjoyable weekends of my life. While it didn't last, for three days I felt complete . God has made me r...
No comments:
Post a Comment