i'm moving back home

The last few days have been awful, downright awful, and I know that the best option for my emotional sanity and well-being is to get myself out of this situation. It is a bittersweet decision, and it's not a decision that came easily. It is sweet because it will enable me to work some things in my life, as well as because by moving home I'll be able to reconnect with many of my friends I haven't seen in ages; and it is bitter because by moving home I am leaving behind in Cincinnati many of the people who are most important to me. There are pros and cons to either decision I could've made, staying here or leaving, and I honestly think leaving is the best decision of the two. Am I excited about it? No, not really. It's going to be a difficult transition. It means the end of another chapter of my life, albeit a sad chapter, and the next chapter really holds no more promise than the last. 2010 isn't making out to be the best year of my life, as it was for 2007, 2008, and 2009. These last three years have been hell, and maybe by moving out I can re:situate myself and launch forward into something new. I just know there's no future for me here in Cincinnati, or at least not the future I want. In all honesty, I am in love with a girl who doesn't love me back, and unless I get away from the situation she will never again be a good friend but will be merely the girl who wouldn't love me. And the emotional hell of that is too great for me. Sometimes you don't get what you want out of life, but sometimes you get what you need, and maybe moving back to the quiet countryside is exactly what I need.

In lighter news, yesterday was the kegger for the Haitian victims. It was great to spend time with so many good friends. Dylan, Tyler, Rob, Mandy, Tony, Amos, Blake, Nate, Jobst, Isaac, Brandy. It will be sad to leave them behind, though I plan on returning to Cincinnati for a few days every week or so.