Tuesday, November 24, 2009

i hate the holidays

I hate the holidays. They're so depressing. For some people, holidays are emblems of joy and reunion. For me, they stand as emblems of disappointment. Thanksgiving and Christmas are all about getting together with your family, celebrating new family members through engagements and births, and that's great; but for me, when I sit at the Thanksgiving table and stand out on the porch smoking in the falling snow, I am reminded of how close I've come to experiencing my greatest dream, and also how, so far, I have been unable to fully grasp it. Dreams step into your life, flaunt themselves in spinning and twirling dances, casting their brilliant light over you in such a manner that all shadows flee; and then they dwindle and fade and the shadows encroach once more, and not only are you left aching for the dream, but you are forced to remember what it was like to have it so close and then to lose it like sand through a sieve. I hate the holidays, and I can't wait for January to come. One friend said it best: "Life is a series of disappointments. Get used to it." The holidays simply amplify this.

3 comments:

Cory Isaac said...

i know what you mean and don't. the holidays are like high school reunions. all the people you respect (and all the people you don't) come out and show you how interesting their lives are. however, i love all of my family and find most of them quite useful to my development as an honorable and virtuous human being. that being said, the holidays have come to be more about friends and mentors than fun and presents

mandy said...

this really cheered me up..

darker than silence said...

Cory, I'm picking up what you're laying down.

Mandy, sorry I couldn't cheer you up. It's exciting that you have a blog, though, even if I'm unable to read it :)

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