In the spring of this year, I fell for a wonderful girl who graduated from CCU in May. I still consider her a good friend, though I haven't talked to her for some time. Last night I dreamed that we were dating, and it was a weird dream, but at least it wasn't scary (Sarah had a horrible dream last night, but she left for work before I could find out what it was about). I want to start keeping a dream journal; sometimes I write down my dreams in my journal, but I'd like to have a journal just for dreams, because I have multiple dreams a night and usually remember them.
I wrote on here several weeks ago, on October 20, that I have fallen for a girl where nothing can happen because of several reasons. First, the "Friend Zone" has been initiated (something I've never totally understood); and Second, because of the circumstances regarding our friendship, I'm unable to say anything. Gambill had told me, "You're just torturing yourself, Dude," and he's right. On Saturday night, I realized that if I do not nip this in the butt, then it will just cause me all sorts of additional pain, pain that I really don't need nor want right now. Gambill and I talked for a while about it; Amanda and I talked for a while about it; Mandy and I talked for a while about it. I was torn between two different routes I could take: confessing my feelings and risking the friendship, or just distancing myself from her in order to get over liking her. I decided to do both. First, I'll tell her how I feel. I know she doesn't feel the same way--at least I suspect that--but by telling her I will get to hear it from her, which will make it easier for me to get over her, and then she'll at least know why I've been distancing myself, which leads to step number two: distancing myself from her. She's a great friend, and this sucks, because you can't control who you're attracted to, and you can't control whom you do or do not have chemistry with. Let's just say it's a pretty shitty situation, but at least I have mass experience in this area (though it doesn't make it easier nor the outcomes any better).
I wrote on here several weeks ago, on October 20, that I have fallen for a girl where nothing can happen because of several reasons. First, the "Friend Zone" has been initiated (something I've never totally understood); and Second, because of the circumstances regarding our friendship, I'm unable to say anything. Gambill had told me, "You're just torturing yourself, Dude," and he's right. On Saturday night, I realized that if I do not nip this in the butt, then it will just cause me all sorts of additional pain, pain that I really don't need nor want right now. Gambill and I talked for a while about it; Amanda and I talked for a while about it; Mandy and I talked for a while about it. I was torn between two different routes I could take: confessing my feelings and risking the friendship, or just distancing myself from her in order to get over liking her. I decided to do both. First, I'll tell her how I feel. I know she doesn't feel the same way--at least I suspect that--but by telling her I will get to hear it from her, which will make it easier for me to get over her, and then she'll at least know why I've been distancing myself, which leads to step number two: distancing myself from her. She's a great friend, and this sucks, because you can't control who you're attracted to, and you can't control whom you do or do not have chemistry with. Let's just say it's a pretty shitty situation, but at least I have mass experience in this area (though it doesn't make it easier nor the outcomes any better).
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