It's almost 1:00 in the morning. I was exhausted earlier today, but I'm feeling pretty wired right now. I start my new job as a Starbucks barista tomorrow. My first shift will be 12:00-6:00, training. Mom asked if I was nervous. "No," I said. "I worked at a coffee shop for 3 1/2 years." There will be differences between Starbucks and the Hilltop, to be sure, but nothing I'm worried about not grasping. Today was pretty good: after church I hung out with Dylan and Tyler. Amanda came down, and she joined Dylan and me for a trip to Benham's Grove to smoke cigars. The cigars I bought were awful, so we smoked some of Dylan's cigarettes instead. We walked around and took lots of pictures, and I'll post some of them on here later. We went to a playground at another park--the one with the amphitheater on Spring Valley--and messed around for a bit. Dewenter came over later in the evening, and we hung out in the living room and just chatted for a while. Once he left, things went downhill.
I got depressed again. I don't think I was cycling, I just made the mistake of observing my life and drawing logical conclusions that were less-than-optimistic. I came to the conclusion that life is just a series of disappointments, one after the other. Mostly this was spawned because of what happened back at the end of January, spawned from the most awful night of my life thus far. I've moved away, but that doesn't make things easier. Some friends have suggested that I take care of the problem with a quick and decisive clean-cut sweep. Hack it off at the neck and refuse to let it breathe. Maybe that is the most logical course of action. But I guess my weakness is that I care too much. I'm one of the few who do.
I got depressed again. I don't think I was cycling, I just made the mistake of observing my life and drawing logical conclusions that were less-than-optimistic. I came to the conclusion that life is just a series of disappointments, one after the other. Mostly this was spawned because of what happened back at the end of January, spawned from the most awful night of my life thus far. I've moved away, but that doesn't make things easier. Some friends have suggested that I take care of the problem with a quick and decisive clean-cut sweep. Hack it off at the neck and refuse to let it breathe. Maybe that is the most logical course of action. But I guess my weakness is that I care too much. I'm one of the few who do.
1 comment:
don't forget where your hope lies, anthony. there is nothing in this world that will last, even our failures.
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