My 23rd Birthday. (And Jessie's 20th) We woke at 6:30 AM and drove an hour north to board a train into Chicago. We grabbed our hotel room on Lakeshore and had lunch at a hole-in-the-wall burger joint with lousy service. "Do you guys have any specials that would bring this $8 sandwich down to, say, $6?" Our next stop was Navy Pier. We rode the Ferris wheel and Mandy cried: she hates heights. We browsed the shops and got dinner at a pizza joint with "authentic Chicago deep-dish." We visited the Sears (wait, no, Willis) Tower and tried to visit some famous fountain, but it was turned off. Tony and I peed in it. A heavy fog drenched everything, it was beautiful in the streetlights. Before bed we hit up the Whiskey Bar atop our hotel and Tony bought me a shot of bourbon for my birthday.
Tuesday. Breakfast was McDonald's. We boarded the subway and went to the Planetarium before jumping back onto the train ride home. At the planetarium I somehow got cut off from the others, and in trying to rejoin them exited the museum. I headed back inside and a kid at security was like, "You need a pass..." and I said, "No, but thanks," and just kept going. He just watched me walk away with his jaw dropped. Back in Mahomet we ate dinner with Jessie's mom at a Mexican restaurant. Jessie and I got free fried ice cream for our birthdays. Rob, Mandy, Tony and I headed back to Cincinnati, rolling in around 2:30 AM. I ran by the Lehman House to get my things and ran into Sarah. I got home around 4 AM and promptly passed out. Such a great birthday weekend.
Wednesday. I spent the morning editing photos from the past weekend, and come noon I went to Spring Valley for my double-shot with cream over ice and read yet another book on Hemingway's writing techniques. The water's beautiful, warm and sunny. Ams came up, and we went out for my birthday dinner at Olive Garden. Best salad and bread-sticks. I stuffed myself with mushrooms and a glass of wine. Ams and Sarah found an apartment, and they're checking it out Saturday. Sarah's planning a surprise birthday party for Ams. Ams and Chris are "just friends," officially no longer together, and everyone likes it better that way. "Chris is a cock," Rob said. Ams went back to Cincinnati, and I watched the movie Star Trek before bed.
Thursday. I woke and went for a cold run through the subdivision across the street. It's a start. I did some more work on 36H2, it's becoming a chore now. I want to get the revision out of the way. Ams called, freaking out: they're apartment hunting, and Sarah just admitted she has NO money saved up whatsoever and will need Ams to front her that money. Ams is quite pissed. I called Sarah around 5:00, and she was in tears over the financial woes. I joined Dylan at his house church. We sat out on the front porch back home afterwards--"Front Porch Times," we call them. It's been so nice out lately. I called Jess Lynn before bed. She admitted she thinks I'm cute. I knew it!
Friday. I dreamt Sarah and I were making out, and we stripped off our clothes and she gave me a BJ as I fingered her. And then the dream changed, and I was watching as Billy replaced me, and she enjoyed the fooling around so much more with him. I woke up shaking, almost crying, and I could hardly fall back asleep. The memories are supposed to fade, but they seem to grow sharper and sharper. And as bad as it is, I'm GLAD Billy used her, and I'm GLAD she got hurt. And it's weird because I still like her, even love her. But love can be such a toxic thing. It's like oxygen: it's a poison while it also keeps us alive. All the world's pain is centered around the abuse, misuse, loss, or absence of love. And all the world's greatest joys have love at their center. I spent the day looking for jobs. Tyler quit his job, got a new one with a landscaping company, so he got the rest of the day off and came over. We hung out for a while, and Dylan joined us after work. We ate dinner at Jimmy John's and then hit up a hookah bar here in town. We went to Blockbuster and rented Law Abiding Citizen. At the movie store I made weird noises and a group of high school girls started imitating me. Tyler joined in. It lasted a hot minute. Dylan moaned, "Guys, we're out of college." On our way out of the lot I ran over two medians. A big storm rolled through and we played dance music in the car. After the movie we sat on the front porch and talked and they left and I did some more writing.
Saturday. Jess Lynn called me today, and we talked for a while. I joked about us ending up married. "You never know!" she chimed. I took a nap and dreamt Sarah and I were cuddling and she kissed me sweetly on the forehead. I thought about going to Cincinnati tonight to get drunk in honor of Julie and Tim, but no one was available. (Recap: Tim & Julie got married today. I remember being awfully depressed, even suicidal, after she left me. To escape my pain I dated Jess Lynn, but I didn't get over Julie until Courtney came along. I dreaded the day Tim & Julie got married, and I knew it would be hell. Now I don't give a damn, it's just an off-the-cuff reason to get drunk. One day Sarah will marry and I won't care. History is cyclical with both the good AND the bad.) I ended up going down to Cincinnati anyways, and Mandy and I got bubble tea in Clifton. Aunt Teri was passing through the area so we met up with her at the CVS on Vine. I led her to the Lehman House. Mom, Ams and Sarah got back from apartment hunting. Mom & our landlord got into a fight over the phone regarding the lease, and then all of us--Mom, Aunt Teri, Ams, Mandy, Sarah and I--ate dinner at the Chinese Buffet on Glenway. Mom & Aunt Teri headed back to Dayton. Mandy & I joined Gambill and Sa-Rah at the Bloc Coffee Shop, and Rob was there, too. I picked up Sarah from Cadillac Ranch downtown. She was there for a get-together with Steph, but hated because it was packed, her two friends were trashed, and everyone ignored her. Her night got better, though: we went to the house and smoked cigarettes, and I made her laugh so hard her stomach hurt.
Amanda's 21st Birthday. I didn't get home until 4 AM last night thanks to Daylight Savings Time. It rained the whole way home and a thick fog covered everything. Church this morning followed by a workout. Ams came into town, and we went to The Pub for her birthday dinner. Lots of laughter and great food. She returned to Cincinnati, and I did lots of revisions on 36H2. I went to Spring Valley for coffee and the barista begged me to work there. "Fill out an application!" Ha. My whole body was sore from working out so I took some sleeping pills and was passed out by 10:00.
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