the dayton days (VIII)

I'm sexy and I know it

Monday. I woke and went for a run in the rain. It felt so good. Breakfast was egg whites with coffee. I started training at Spring Valley. The store manager, Faith, is really nice, and a Christian. "Almost everyone here is Christian," she said. We did tea and coffee tastings, and she taught me how to do a lot. I caught on pretty easily, thanks to my Hilltop experience. Sarah called after work, asked how it went. "Excellent," I said. I spent the evening lounging around the house after a lite dinner. I watched a movie, chatted up some people online, and worked out before bed.

Tuesday. I woke at 7 AM, made coffee, read the Bible, and prayed for a while. I like quiet mornings where such things--coffee, scripture, and prayer--take center stage. Breakfast was two eggs and toast, and then I headed to work. My second day. 9-5. Here was my schedule:

     9-11:00, trained under Wade

     11-2:00, trained under "the coffee Nazi" Asenath

     2-4:00, trained under Abby (an old friend from C.C.U.)

     4-5:00, trained on the register with Bethany.

My feet were pretty sore by the end of it. The girls from Mom's bible study came around 6:00. Around 7:00 Dylan and Tyler joined me at Spring Valley for coffee. Mine was free. Abby went on break, and she sat down and smoked with us. Dylan, Tyler and I went back to the house and played Mario-Kart. After they left, Sarah called, freaking out because she's home alone and heard noises in the kitchen.

Wednesday. I had an informational Starbucks meeting at the Oakwood Store from 3-8:00, but it was cancelled. I called Faith to let her know, and she said she did know, had sent me a text message. But my phone's jank so I didn't get it. I went by the library and rented some movies, took a nap (and dreamt Sarah and I were together, how original), and headed down to Cincinnati to get my social security card from the Lehman House only to discover it was in my wallet the whole time. Awesome. But I did get to see Kyle, and I tackled Sa-Rah outside the dorm. On my way home I went by Hank & Ashlie's, and Chris & Brian were there. Sarah called and we talked for a while.

Thursday. I worked 1-5:00, training under a shift leader named Carly. She seems pretty cool. Apparently Brandy Rae knows her somehow? She trained me on drive-thru. It was kinda hectic at first, but I got it down. It rained all day. I spent the evening relaxing and watching TV. Sarah was supposed to come visit me but cancelled last-minute.

Friday. I slept like a baby all night listening to the rain outsside. I went to Spring Valley to read for a bit (I have a feeling it'll be more of a third place now, since my coffee's always on the house!), and then I headed down to Cincinnati. I picked up Jobst from his apartment, and we went for lunch at The Anchor. I headed back home and took the Prizm to the body shop to get a new rim on a leaking tire, and then I changed out the spare. Jess Lynn was working at my Starbucks, so I headed over there to see her. She was being really flirty, kept looking at my lips. And the first thing she said when I walked in? "OMG, you ARE super skinny!"

Saturday. I spent my morning at work, though I had the day off: grabbed two double shots over ice and sipped it while reading Dallas Willard's "Renovation of the Heart." Mom & I were going to get lunch at China Cottage but that fell through, so we got Subway and watched the movie "Lethal Weapon 3." Tyler came over, and we played Mario-Kart. Dylan joined us, and we went to some pub in Centerville for beers. After that we climbed trees in our yard and got on the roof. "Nostalgia," I told Dad. He just shook his head. Dinner was quesadillas. After everyone left I felt restless, so I drove the quiet and empty streets in the dead of night, thinking about everything with Sarah. I don't want to cut her out of my life. I still hope, albeit foolishly and borderline subconsciously, that she'll change her ways and want me. And so my prayer is that God will annihilate in my heart, in his mercy and grace, any and all romantic and erotic feelings for her.

Sunday. Kyle and I met up for a quick lunch at Bob Evans after his shindig at Northern Hills Christian Church. Last time I preached there was the night after Sarah had sex with Frank. She came up in our conversation. I told Kyle, "Come October of last year, I realized how much I liked her. In November I told her. She didn't like me back. I tried to win her heart, but failed. She started hanging out with Steph, and she began to change. Who she is now is completely different than who she was a year ago. It's nauseating. In late January she brought a boy home from Bar 127 in Hamilton. I couldn't handle it. I got shit-faced and cut myself deeper than ever before. And that very weekend I moved out of the house, returned to Centerville." I told him I'm in the process of rebuilding my life after all that went down with me emotionally before, during, and following Sarah. I'm slowly reconnecting with God and forming friendships. Things are getting better. We parted ways, and after an afternoon spent dicking around the house, I worked 3-6:00 with Asenath at the main register, followed by 6-9:00 with Abby doing DT (Drive-Thru). I think I'll like this job, and I hope to make some friends.